Red Eye Blue
by zsuzsi
Summary: SasuNaru. Part I: Naruto gets turned into a girl, and gets stalked. Part II: Naruto gets knocked up. Mostly humor with a little angst to round things out.
1. Prologue

_Ok, now that this story is finally completed I would like to provide the readers with some explanation in advance. _

_Since I wrote this whole thing as one big long piece I decided to post it that way. However, the story is in three parts. The first is the Naruto gets turned into a girl / gets stalked story. The second is the Naruto gets pregnant (still as a girl) story, and the third is the Naruto returns to being a guy story. The first part is more or less independent of the second two and can be read that way if you prefer. Likewise, if you prefer girl!Naruto, you are free to skip the last section. _

_Thank you so much to all the wonderful reviewers along the way who encouraged me to see this story to completion. _

_Disclaimer: 'Naruto' and all the Naruto characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Not to me. _

**Red Eye Blue**

It all started with a prank. Well, it was Naruto, so that was what you would expect. Naruto loved pranks, and even know that he was getting older (eighteen this year!) and people said he ought to know better, that part of his personality hadn't grown up. If anything, the pranks had only gotten worse, because Naruto had gotten sneakier, and his ninjutsu a lot better, which made his pranks a lot harder to see coming and a lot more devastating when they hit home.

Kakashi, who was like a father to Naruto, had the theory that Naruto's tricks were a way of getting back at people, getting back at the villagers who had never really cared for him the way they should have taken care of a young orphan left under their care. Face to face, Naruto did everything he could to win people's approval, but maybe a subconscious part of him wanted to punish them as well.

Iruka, who was also like a father to Naruto, but tended to be a lot gentler than Kakashi, wondered if the pranks weren't related to the Kyuubi in Naruto's belly. Everyone knew foxes loved to play pranks. Granted the giant, evil youkai wasn't your everyday fox, but there was no reason to believe it wouldn't have a playful side too, one that would somehow have rubbed off on Naruto.

If you asked Naruto, he could have just told you that pranks were incredibly funny, and getting older hadn't changed that yet.

This particular prank hadn't been entirely Naruto's own bad idea either. You see, almost everyone his graduating class had recently started to get a little annoyed with Neji, who had, ever since a particularly difficult mission in which he had get TenTen, Lee, and even Gai-sensei out of a crunch that had seemed to spell certain death – developed an attitude even more arrogant and irritating, if possible, than he had even had before. Granted, at first, everyone had been grateful – but that had worn off after a month, when everything was starting to get back to normal, but Neji was still strutting around.

"We oughta take him down a peg," growled Kiba, after a run in with Neji during which the Byakugan user had told Kiba to "keep working, and you'll improve eventually." He was repeating the incident to Naruto, Shikamaru, Choji, Ino, Sakura, Hinata, and TenTen over a couple of beers. Rock Lee wasn't present because he refused to drink alcohol, arguing that it was poison to the body. Sasuke wasn't present, because, ever since returning to Konoha a few months before, he was, if it was possible, even more anti-social and unfriendly than before.

"Yeah," Ino said, darkly. "And last week, he told me that if I stopped blow-drying so much, it might make my hair a little silkier and less frizzy. And he _sort of flipped his own hair back when he said it_. Can you imagine! The nerve! He was definitely implying that his hair was better than mine." She made a deep, irritated sound deep in her throat. "Please TenTen, please give us permission to get back at him."

TenTen, who was, after all, Neji's teammate, and owed him her life, shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Part of her thought she ought to calm Ino down a little bit, the other half had recently found herself getting annoyed at Neji too. She sighed and didn't reply.

Shikamaru, who didn't like Neji all that much anyway, grinned suddenly. "Well, maybe just a little something, right, TenTen?"

TenTen shrugged and sat back in her chair. Her annoyed side was starting to win the battle over her grateful side. "Why not?"

"Yeah!" Kiba cheered.

Everyone sitting around the table looked at each other. "Well, what should we do?"

Eyes started shifting towards Shikamaru, the smart one, or towards Naruto, the one who was good at pranks.

"Hmmm…" said Shikamaru. "I could think better with another drink."

Sakura took the hint and motioned the waitress over.

"Hey," said Naruto. "What would piss Neji off the most?"

"Umm…" they all thought.

"Cut his hair?" Chouji suggested. "While he's sleeping?"

They all shuddered. "We'd never be forgiven." "He'd kill us."

Kiba cleared his throat. "He's a little uptight with girls, right? What if Naruto, you do your sexy jutsu, and Neji tries to pick you up? Then, just when Neji tries to kiss you, or whatever, you change back, and we all laugh our asses off."

Naruto scowled.

"Actually," said Shikamaru, "that would be pretty hilarious."

"It's not too mean," Sakura decided.

"And the best part is, he couldn't get back at us, because then he'd have to admit that he tried to kiss Naruto."

Even TenTen started to giggle a little bit. "I know what kind of girls he likes," she said. "I can help."

"Ok," said Shikamaru, "Let's do it!"

They all turned to Naruto, eyes full of a new, evil light.

"Uh…" he said. "Guys…?"


	2. Part I: Chapter 1

…And so this was how Naruto found himself, three days later, sitting on a barstool in one of the nicer parts of town, disguised as a girl, waiting for Neji to show up. The plan was pretty simple. Shikamaru had invited Neji to the bar on the pretext of 'wanting to talk about something', but Shikamaru wasn't going to show, and that would give Naruto a chance to bump into Neji and start chatting, while Neji waited.

It was still about ten minutes to the time Shikamaru had set. Naruto had gotten into place early. The instructions TenTen, Ino, Sakura and Hinata had pounded into him had been specific. Everyone, Naruto thought, had really gotten a kick out of giving him instructions on how to be a girl.

The first step had been to modify the sexy jutsu into something a little more realistic. Actually the boys had been more involved in this step than the girls. The whole process had mainly involved Naruto performing the jutsu over and over again, slightly modifying it each time. They had found a quiet training site on the edge of town to do this part of the work.

"Bigger boobs!" Kiba remarked.

"No, don't be stupid," Sakura elbowed him. "They're too big already. No girl actually has boobs that big. That's like," she gestured in the air, trying to estimate the size, "a triple-D. Naruto, go down to a C."

The naked blond bombshell in front of them looked down at her chest doubtfully. "Ok, Sakura, but what size is a C?"

"No, go even smaller than that," TenTen instructed. "Do like a big B-cup. I think Neji likes smaller girls. He likes girls who are slender, and not – uh – too bulky."

Naruto sighed. With a poof he returned to his own body. "Can you, uh, draw a picture of something?"

Kiba and TenTen hunched over a piece of paper. Shikamaru looked on while they drew.

Finally Kiba held up the finished product. "Like this!" He said proudly.

Naruto looked at the figure they had drawn, which was basically a stick figure with boobs and a little bit of an ass. His eyes narrowed. "Like that, huh?"

"No, that's ridiculous", Shikamaru said. "Naruto, take the sexy no jutsu, shave about three inches off her height, make the boobs – oh, the size of Ino's...and the butt... like Hinata's… and the legs… like Kurenai-sensei's.

"And the face more like the Rokudaime's…" Kiba interrupted, which earned him an odd look from everyone.

"And the skin like Sasuke's," Chouji said, which earned him an even odder look. "I'm just saying…" he mumbled.

"No, that's true, Sasuke does have very good skin," Ino said, authoritatively. "Naruto, try to make the face kind of like Sasuke's."

"No," said Shikamaru, who had somehow become the expert. "Keep the face like you have it, but just get rid of those damn whiskers."

Naruto looked carefully at Hinata's ass and Ino's rack for a moment, "Ok, I think I've got it!" He said, and concentrated.

Poof! A very plausible, hot chick stood naked before them. Big boobs, but not over the top, a nice curvy figure, long blond hair and blue eyes, skin a shade lighter than Naruto's. All the guys gawked for an instant, and then started congratulating each other.

"We did it!"

"He's perfect!"

"Neji will totally fall for it!"

"Now all we have to do," Shikamaru said, rubbing his chin sagely, "is find some clothes."

"Come on, guys!" Shouted Kiba.

Ino, Sakura, Hinata, and TenTen were left behind momentarily. Ino had crossed her arms over her check, and Hinata was worriedly trying to peer over her shoulder.

"Does anyone else feel a little grossed out?" Asked Ino. All four girls nodded. "Well, we better help them anyway," TenTen said. "Otherwise they'll dress him up like a dime-store hooker." They nodded and started following after the guys. Only Sakura stood behind.

"Hey," she called. "Hey, how come they didn't want to use any of my body parts? Hey! Guys…?" She jogged to catch up with the group.

And so, there Naruto sat, by himself at the bar, sipping lemonade (drinking alcohol would just take away his edge) and waiting for Neji to show up so that he could test out his flirting skills. The outfit that he was wearing had ultimately ended up owing more to the girls than the boys, who, after all, knew a lot more about fashion in the first place. TenTen said that Neji liked girls who were feminine, demure, and a little old-fashioned ("he likes girls that will gaze up at him with adoring eyes", had been her exact words") and so the girls had gone with an outfit that was girly and cute: a dress with a pink flower pattern, that ended just above her knees ("We want you to look like a good girl, but not too good", Ino explained) and a short fuzzy pink sweater type thing that made his neck itch, and a pair of white strappy sandals.

Hinata had assured him that Neji would not be able to see through this trick unless he activated his byakugan, which he should have no good reason to do. Besides, even if Neji could tell that it was an illusion, it wouldn't be like anyone else on the street could.

Naruto turned around his barstool and surveyed the room. From behind a curtain in the back Kiba gave him a thumbs-up sign. _Don't get caught, you guys_, Naruto thought. It didn't seem like Neji still hadn't shown up yet… sighing, Naruto swung back around to the bar.

"Hey, little lady," said a voice next to him. What? Naruto looked at the guy next to him. An ugly guy with a bad haircut was leaning over, looking at him with concern. "Are you all right? You look upset."

What in world? Naruto thought, before it hit him. _Is this guy trying to hit on me?…_ he felt the bile rising in his throat. "No, I'm fine," he said, shortly.

"Oh, hey, don't be like that. You keep looking for someone, right? Did you get stood up?"

Naruto leveled a more serious look at the guy. He looked kind of unusual: one of those nin's who had sacrificed the normalcy of their bodies for some kind of increased power: the man's skin was mottled, gray, and covered in hard warts or calluses of some kind. Around his face the skin was smoother, as the warts gave way to scabby bumps that resembled, more than anything, a case of bad acne. _Should I whack him, or something?_ Naruto wondered. _I don't want this guy to be buzzing around when Neji…_ out of the corner of his eye, he saw of swish of black hair, and white eyes. Neji had just entered the bar. Wait… Naruto thought, maybe I can get Neji to rescue me from this loser… that would be a pretty good set-up…

Turning his eyes back to the guy, he tried to work up tears in the corner of his eyes. "Yes…" he said, doing his best to look weak and pathetic. "My boyfriend just broke up with me… I asked him to come here and meet me… but it looks like he couldn't even be bothered to do that for me…"

"What kind of a guy would do that?" The guy sounded affronted. "Who could ever break up with a girl as pretty as you?" His breath smelled pretty boozy, Naruto noted. "Let me buy you a drink."

"Oh, no thank you," Naruto said, daintily, now trying desperately to catch Neji's eye… "I'm not much of a drinker…"

"Oh, just one… you'll feel better…" The man motioned to the bartender… "My name is Akito, by the way…"

"Ummm, Akito-san, I don't know how to say this, but…" Naruto's mind was working fast. I want to get into a fight with him, or something, he thought. If this Akito guy gets violent with a girl in a bar, Neji'll definitely come to the rescue. He bowed his head. "I'm sorry, Akito-san. I'm not interested in… ugly guys like you."

Akito looked stunned for a moment. Did it work? Naruto wondered. Is he gonna get pissed off now? Just for good measure, he threw in, "You know, your face looks like it's been through a blender, and what's with that hair, anyway?" Unconciously he started using that tone of voice Sakura always slipped into when she was at her cruelest. Naruto slid another side glance over at where Neji was sitting_. Come rescue me, idiot…_

Instead of getting upset, though, the guy called Akito seemed to have decided to overlook the comment. He slapped his hand on his knee and threw his head back laughing. "You're a feisty one, aren't you? What's your name, anyway?"

"Kumiko… Honda Kumiko…" he muttered, falling back on the fake name Sakura and Ino had prepared.

"Ne… Kumiko-chan… you want to know a secret?" Akito brought his face close her hers.

"No… thank you…" The temptation to break this guy's face was getting stronger and stronger, but Naruto knew for a fact that Neji hated violent girls, and so he definitely had to keep up the shrinking violet act. He put his hands in front of his chest to hold Akito back a little bit. Wow, he thought. Being a girl actually can suck… He could be a little rude, but only if Neji couldn't overhear.

"I'm a _spy_…" Akito drawled.

"Well… that's nice... but keep in mind that this is a Ninja Village."

Akito looked blank.

"We're all spies, moron."

To his surprise, Akito laughed again. "Nope, Kumiko… mind if I call you Kumiko… see, I'm spying on the spies." He puffed up. "Pretty impressive, huh? I bet you wanna date me now…"

If Naruto couldn't beat Akito up, he thought, maybe he could beat himself up. Bang his head against the counter of the bar so that he wouldn't have to listen to this anymore. He looked over Akito's shoulder and saw Kiba gesturing frantically at him, some sort of sign that meant, 'what are you doing, idiot?' When he turned, he saw that Neji was getting up to go. "Damn, couldn't you at least have ordered one drink, idiot?" he growled.

"Are you ready for another one?" Akito asked helpfully.

"Oh… tee hee… no…."

"Anyway, my mission's pretty important… I'm gathering information about the hidden leaf to take back to my leaders… it's all pretty complicated, political stuff…"

"Wow, that's… uh… great…" Naruto was edging off the barstool when Akito grabbed his arm. It was wide, Naruto noted, and the grip was strong, and it was covered in some sort of… warts…

"I can get your number, right?"

Neji was gone. He had missed him. Damn. "Fine, fine," Naruto mumbled. He looked around for a pen and scrawled his number on bar napkin Akito handed him. "I just have to go, ok?"

Once he had the number, Akito seemed satisfied. He waved cheerfully as Naruto backed out of the bar.

"Don't worry, Kumiko-chan!" He shouted. "I'll definitely make you forget about your worthless ex!"

As the door closed behind him, Naruto breathed a huge sigh of relief. Then he hastily looked up and down the street. No good, Neji was totally gone.

"Naruto! You moron! What were you doing in there?" Kiba, Shikamaru, Ino and Sakura came out.

"You don't understand…" Naruto whined… "I couldn't get away… that guy was like… a giant parasite." He shuddered. "He was awful."

"You couldn't just push him off?" Kiba said. Ino started giggling.

"He totally was all over you. Poor Naruto. We just made you too pretty for your own good."

"I guess our prank failed, then."

Shikamaru shrugged. "We'll think up something else, some other time."

"If its not too troublesome?" Ino teased.

"Its too troublesome." He replied.

That was on Friday night. Shikamaru and the gang had opted to go grab a drink somewhere, but Naruto, who was tired, pissed-off, and whose feet were getting sore in the flats, opted to go home instead. Cross-dressing, he decided, was definitely NOT his thing. No way would he get talked into some kind of dumb stunt like that again. He walked down the street towards his apartment slowly. They had opted for a high-end bar with Neji, and unfortunately his place was on the complete opposite side of town. Worse, he had to maintain the illusion until he got back, unless he wanted to do the walk as a guy in girl's clothing.

"Dobe."

"Sasuke?" Damn. He must really be spacing out if he hadn't even noticed his teammate approaching. "Why are you here?"

"On my way home." Sasuke looked him up and down, and smirked.

"Yeah, I know, I know!" Naruto said. "Don't even say it. It was a bad idea, I admit." He paused. "How could you tell it was me, though?"

Instead of answering, Sasuke briefly activated his sharingan.

Since returning to Leaf half a year before, Sasuke was… still strange. Too serious, too quiet. Naruto had tried being friendly with him, had tried picking fights with him, had tried every method of irritating the Uchiha he could think of, just to get a reaction… but Sasuke after years with Orochimaru apparently couldn't even be bothered to rise to these kinds of childish taunts. Naruto wasn't used to spending time with another person without interacting with them at all – not talking, not doing things together, just sharing space – but this was all it seemed possible to do with Sasuke.

He knew, because of events right after Sasuke had returned, that Sasuke considered Naruto his best friend, and was grateful. Sasuke had managed to say those things to him, just once. It was just that Sasuke wasn't able to be much of a friend to anyone these days.

They mostly just spent time together on missions, during which they worked well together – surprisingly well, because working with Naruto rarely lent itself to smooth operations, but with Sasuke it did. Sometimes Naruto and Sakura managed to talk him into lunch, sometimes they dragged him to social events. He didn't really seem to enjoy them, but Sakura and Naruto had talked, and they felt that the only thing they could really offer was to make themselves available.

Sakura had waited… hoped for a long time… that Sasuke would choose her. Years. Therefore, Naruto had been shocked, when, not long before Sasuke had returned, she finally announced that she was dating Lee. Naruto had regarded it as a kind of betrayal – everyone was moving on, he felt, forgetting about Sasuke, even Sakura. They had fought about it, angrily, desperately, late at night outside of Ino's flower shop.

"I'll still do everything – anything – to make him come back." Sakura had said. "My being with Lee doesn't change anything. My wanting Sasuke to come back shouldn't be about me wishing for some fairy-tale dream of romance with him. At least I can say for certain now. I want Sasuke to come back for himself. I don't want him to come back for selfish… reasons…"

She had broken down, crying, on the road. Naruto had knelt beside her, unsure what to do, unsure whether he accepted her logic or not. It didn't matter, he decided. Sakura was his friend, as much as Sasuke was, and he had to accept her as she was.

He had helped her walk home, and left her a block from her house because Sakura's parents still hated Naruto and didn't accept him.

"I thought you should know…" Sakura had said. She hadn't looked at him. "If it hadn't been… for Sasuke… for having Sasuke between us…" She had looked back at him, and tried to smile. "I would have chosen you. I mean, if we didn't have all this _history…_ I don't think we could be happy if we were together and still thinking of Sasuke, still looking for him… it wouldn't worked out."

Naruto didn't tell her that he hadn't wanted to be with her for a long time. He had given her up, first because he thought that he was giving her up to Sasuke, and then because her friendship seemed like the only thing from the old days that was left, and he didn't want to tamper with it.

"Sakura…" he had said… and he had smiled, more genuinely that she could have, under the same circumstances. "Be happy."

Did she regret it, after Sasuke had come back? She didn't seem to. She never mentioned it. Naruto thought Sasuke seemed slightly relieved to realize that she didn't have any expectations left for him to fulfill, or disappoint. When he thought about it, really, a good portion of Sasuke's life had already been screwed up because of other people's expectations.

He glanced over at the black-haired boy, who was still walking beside him, not speaking. He must be dying with curiosity to know how I ended up dressed up like this, Naruto thought. How could he not? Even being an Uchiha, wanting to know would just be human nature.

"Hey, Sasuke" He said, and started to relate the whole story, from where Shikamaru and Kiba had come up with their _brilliant_ idea to where the guy at the bar started hitting on him and wouldn't let him go.

Somewhere around the part where the guy asked for Naruto's number, Sasuke started laughing. Naruto had been startled, but tried not to show it, and went on with the story. By the time he lost Neji, Sasuke was doubled over, almost rolling in the road.

"Oh my God, Sasuke!" Naruto said. "I don't think I've ever seen you laugh so hard. Not even when you were a little kid in school."

"I know…" Sasuke said. "I know." And he laughed for a couple of minutes more.

"You wanna come up for a cup of ramen?" Naruto said, when they reached his apartment.

Sasuke nodded.

Naruto put on the water, and then went to his bedroom to take off his dress and makeup. He changed into his usual orange jumpsuit.

"Man!" He said, coming back into the kitchen and pouring the water over the instant noodles. "That feels so much better."

Sasuke just looked at him, and Naruto thought he saw the corners of Sasuke's mouth twitch.

"Don't start laughing again, teme!" He ordered.

It would take a while to say for sure, he thought, but slowly some kind of real friendship was reforming with Sasuke.

He let Sasuke sleep on the couch because it seemed like too much trouble for him to go back across town to his own place. Besides, they didn't have any mission tomorrow morning.

Since Sasuke was on the couch, he was closer to the phone, and it just happened that he was the one who picked up when someone called, very early, the following morning.

The voice on the other end was gruff, but nervousness tempered the gruffness a little. If Sasuke had been a little more awake, or a little less annoyed at being woken so early, it might have sounded familiar.

"Is… umm.. is Kumiko-chan there?" The person on the other end of the line asked.

"No." Said Sasuke, firmly, and hung up.

Twenty seconds later, the phone started ringing again. Sasuke glared at, considered not picking up, and then recalled that Naruto was still sleeping in the other room.

He picked up the receiver again.

"Kumiko-chan?" The voice said, hopefully.

"You have," said Sasuke, through gritted teeth, "the wrong number."

He hung up again.

The phone started ringing a third time. Somewhere on the other side of the village, the man named Akira was checking over each number on a cocktail napkin carefully, making sure he hadn't misread any digits.

Naruto wandered in from the bedroom just in time to hear Sasuke saying, into the receiver. "Oh, _that_ Kumiko-chan. No, she can't come to the phone right now. She's too exhausted, because last night I fucked her silly."

Naruto felt his face pale a little bit. "Sasuke…" he asked presently. "Who were you talking to?"

"Oh, just some moron who had the wrong number. He called three times."

"Oh…" said Naruto.


	3. Part I: Chapter 2

Author's Notes:

First, thank you so much to those who were kind enough to review my first chapter. I really appreciate it!

For whatever reason this story is moving really slowly. I have a whole plot planned out in my head and it hasn't even really gotten started yet – so basically what I'm saying is that SasuNaru is gonna happen, but it may take a looong freaking time. Several chapters. I hope people will be patient with me! I do promise to kill off any OCs eventually.

The next day, Team Seven had been instructed to gather, _promptly_ at eight o'clock, in the Hokage's office. 'Promptly' had been emphasized several times, but that didn't prevent Kakashi from being twenty minutes late.

"I had to… uh…"

"Help a kitten cross a road?" Sakura supplied helpfully.

"Rescue a baby from a burning building?" asked Naruto.

Sasuke didn't say anything. The Hokage sighed. "Well, now that you're all assembled," she said, and tossed a picture across the desk for Kakashi to look at.

"This man," she said, "Is a dangerous criminal. He was formerly working for Orochimaru," she refrained from looking at Sasuke, "and we think he slipped away from the Hidden Sound village before it was destroyed. In fact, he's not a very powerful ninja per se, but we believe that he managed to steal some important information before he left Sound, and furthermore that he may have come to Konoha recently for some purpose, in order to gather more. I need your team to… Good Lord, Naruto, Sakura, why are you two gaping like that?"

Kakashi had glanced over the photo and passed it to Sasuke, who had recognized it as being a shinobi from Sound – not one he had tagged as being important or interesting. He had passed the picture on to Sakura who had glanced at it – then glanced at it again, more carefully, and was now leaning over to Naruto and whispering, "hey, isn't that the guy from the other night who…" and Naruto was looking distinctly green.

"Akira..." he mumbled.

Naruto had seen Sasuke laughing yesterday, now Sakura, Kakashi, and the Hokage got to appreciate the weirdness of it too. Actually they were all pretty much too busy laughing at the same time to really notice.

"You're telling me…" the Hokage said, between giggles, "that you, last night, Naruto… went out… disguised as a girl… this criminal… we have been trying to apprehend… tried to pick you up… and now won't stop…." Her laughter caused her to start hiccupping. "Calling."

Naruto decided not to dignify this with a response, especially since he had already explained the whole thing twice.

"Well, it makes sense," said Kakashi, who was sufficiently recovered to have started reading the information they had gathered about the criminal.

"Ohore Akira… see? It says that his major weakness is women… it seems he gets infatuated… and.. uhh..." his eyes slid down the page. "Actually, this doesn't look that good." He looked at Naruto, and seemed to be smiling under his mask. "Luckily, Naruto, I think you're a lot stronger, so you can probably fight him off."

"What does it say?" Sakura pulled the dossier away from Kakashi. "Oh gross! It says he eviscerated his last girlfriend after he caught her cheating on him… Don't worry, Naruto!" She put her hand on his shoulder. "We'll protect you, so it's ok!"

"It's fine, Sakura," Naruto said in annoyance. "I'm never going to use that disguise again anyway, and I don't need protection, so.. DAMNIT SASUKE, TEME! Will you STOP laughing at me already!?"

"Hmmm…" said Tsunade, thoughtfully. "This raises a lot of interesting possibilities, though… don't you think, Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi looked lazy "I don't know. What do you have in mind?"

"Well, my original plan was to tell you four to go out, capture this man, and then bring him back here, for interrogation. But what Naruto is saying is that, with no provocation whatsoever, Ohore spilled all kinds of secrets about his mission last night to Naruto – um, excuse me, Kumiko – just because he wanted to impress her. So maybe, as they say, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."

This was enough of a hint of what she had in mind for Sasuke to catch her meaning, and start smirking again. Naruto thought about it and began to turn green. "No, you old bag, listen…"

"You old bag?" Tsunade raised one eyebrow. "Don't you think, Kumiko-chan, you should be a little more polite to people who have control over your missions?"

Changes in missions involved logistical challenges as well. For one thing, even though Ohore Akira didn't seem to the brightest bulb, even he was likely to notice a simple jutsu like the sexy jutsu and see through it when he wasn't drunk. And, a bigger challenge, Tsunade explained, was that she suspected he had superiors hiding in towns near Konoha – higher-ups in the Sound hierarchy who were waiting for him to report back to him. If any of them got a whiff of 'Kumiko'… well…

"Luckily," said Tsunade, leading Naruto and Team Seven through the hallways of Konoha hospitals, "you have twice the chakra of an average ninja, and we can take advantage of that."

"What do you mean?" Naruto said, cautiously.

"Here," Tsunade opened the door to an examining room. "Everyone sit down. Sakura, this'll be good training for you too. Ok, Naruto, show me 'Kumiko'."

Naruto muttered a few rude things under his breath, but with a sigh performed the jutsu.

"Good, good!" Tsunade said, looking the form over. "More realistic than that busty girl you usually do. A little shorter than you, though… we'll have to change that… ok…" She started looking through the scrolls she had brought with her. "That is what we're going to do."

Sakura, Naruto, and Kakashi looked over the scroll curiously. "And this is?" Sakura asked.

"A jutsu usually used by male nins when they want to get pregnant."

"No!" said Naruto. "No, no, no, no! Damn it, Tsunade, I'll go and cut off that guy's head right now. I am NOT doing this."

"Just relax. Nobody's getting you pregnant. This is just a way of making your body take on the female shape without it being an illusion. Also, you won't have to consciously maintain it. In other words," Tsunade pointed a finger at him, "You'll stay in female form while you sleep, and the amount of chakra needed to maintain the form should be less. And," she stressed, "no one looking at you, even Sasuke, or a Hyuuga, will be able to tell that you aren't genuine, 100 female."

"Yippee." Naruto mumbled.

"Don't be so difficult!" Most people can't even do this jutsu!" She tried to persuade him. "It takes someone super-strong… this is like, a special technique only you can handle, Naruto. "

The blonde's eyes were starting to brighten. They brightened a little bit with 'super-strong' and a little more with 'special technique."

"He's not really going to fall for that, is he?" Sakura whispered to Kakashi.

They all waited for a tense moment.

"You'll be the only person in the world to currently be able to do this technique..." she coaxed.

"There's a reason no one wants to master it..." Sakura mumbled.

"Well, when you put it like that…" Naruto said. He was sticking his chest out, and getting that entirely-too-pleased look on his face that often appeared when he was being praised.

"He's going to fall for it." Said Sakura.

"He fell for it." Said Sasuke.

"Great!" said Tsunade. She threw him a hospital robe. "Put this on, ok! Sakura, we need to prepare!"

Twenty-four hours later, an exhausted female Naruto was discharged from the hospital.

"Take him home, ok?" Kakashi told Sasuke. "And stay there, at least overnight. Tsunade said it normally takes two weeks for a person to recover, but with Naruto's abilities it should be a lot faster. Even so, just to be on the safe side, I want you to keep an eye on him. We meet to develop a plan tomorrow evening."

Naruto was barely keeping his head up as they stumbled down the street. "Damn," he said. "I feel so tired."

"Tsunade said you would."

"This sucks, Sasuke… this is like, the worst stupid mission ever."

"Worse than the cat-chasing? Worse than the baby-sitting?"

That caused a slight smile to appear on Naruto's face. "Ok, well, at least this one is A-ranked."

"Right."

Sasuke tried unlocking the door to Naruto's apartment for a moment before the blonde mumbled that it wasn't locked.

"Ah..." said Naruto. "I'm going to bed." He stumbled off.

Sasuke looked around the messy living-room. The blankets from when he'd slept on the couch the other day were still there. He sat down next to it. Something was blinking, he noticed…

It was the phone, next to the couch. The little answering light was blinking. Curious, Sasuke pressed it.

"Kumiko-chan? Are you there?..." _beep_

"Kumiko-chan? It's me… uh… Akira… we met the other night, and. Umm.." _beep_

"That guy who picked up the phone this morning? That wasn't your boyfriend, was it? The one you said dumped you? Because, you know, if you're having a problem with him, I could always help you out, and uh…" _beep_

"Hi? I just wanted to call and apologize to… whoever this is… I thought this was someone else's number, so.. uh… sorry.. but, uh, if this is Kumiko's number, you can call me back, I'm at 755-1032… oh, yeah, this is Akira, from the other night… so.. uh.. yeah, bye." _beep_

Sasuke stared at the phone. He'd had some pretty extreme stalkers in his life, and this guy definitely rated a full nine or even ten points on the creepy and/or annoying scale. Luckily Naruto really could take care of himself…

He leaned his head on the back of the couch and sighed. What was he supposed to do until Naruto woke up, anyway? He looked around the sparse living room. Couch, kitchen table, two chairs, a couple of empty ramen cups that still hadn't been thrown away. A stack of manga in the corner. He should have brought something to read with him…

In the bedroom, twenty feet away, Naruto's head had already hit the pillow… the jutsu had thrown his body and all his hormones out of whack, and so his dreams were coming warped and unpleasant, not quite nightmares but not quite _right_ either…

_He was standing in a field, in a clearing somewhere near Konoha, and an animal was stalking him. Or rather he was stalking the animal. He could smell his prey so clearly that he knew every move the little animal was making, every thought that went racing through its head as it tried to catch the scent of the fox, tried to turn, run, hide, and _

_Then he was upon it on it jumping down catching the neck between his teeth snapping cracking breaking with a satisfying crunch the little movement stopped and the thing was dead and the hunt was over and the interest was gone, but he was still hungry and so he would eat and then _

_one of Kiba's dogs, or Kakashi's, a little nin dog with it's neck broken, and_

Naruto groaned, woke halfway up, turned and rolled over…_ but how could a fox catch a dog? He thought to wonder.. _

_But oh, no, this fox was very BIG, big, and a dog, even a nin dog couldn't see it couldn't smell it and oh how nice hot blood on a cool evening and a pleasant shudder went through his body_

_Something nice to take home for the kits, they are small still but catch a live one in a few days time and they can start practicing, start practicing and learn and_

_The image passed through his mind of kits that were not kits, but rather dangerous and evil, little balls of red-hot chakra and fire. Little live rasengens ready to roll out onto the world. And curled around them was the shape of their mother, the evil Cheshire-Cat like grin that was somehow most of what Naruto ever saw of the Kyuubi, when the Kyuubi pressed its snout against the bars and snaked it's chakra-fire tongue through, trying to wrap around his body and_

_"Damn Fox!" Naruto shouted, leaping back. _

_"you see my memory?" Purred the fox. "Oh, I _like_ you in this new form."_

Twenty feet away, in the living room, Sasuke heard Naruto groan again and wondered what to do. He could go and wake the boy up, he supposed. Sit by the bed, but that wouldn't help things anyway. Tsunade had said he just needed to sleep.

And, he admitted to himself, just grudgingly, that seeing Naruto in that female form made him just a little… uneasy. Not so much because Naruto looked hot like that- though he did, and that made Sasuke a little uneasy in itself - but because it seemed so wrong to put Naruto into any form that made him look weak, as though he needed to be protected. Not when, Naruto was, hands down, the strongest person Sasuke knew. No one else could have tried so hard with so little encouragement for so long.

Naruto moaned again. I wonder what he dreams about, Sasuke wondered briefly. He knew vaguely that Naruto was an orphan, like he was. He knew as well about the fox within.

I wonder if, when he dreams, he has the same kind of nightmares, like me.

Naruto slept for sixteen hours. When he finally woke, it was dawn, and he felt as though he usually did, after any good night of sleep: comfortably rested. It wasn't until he hauled his ass to the bathroom to brush his teeth, and casually looked in the mirror, that the events of the day before came rushing back to him. Damn sexy jutsu! And damn Tsunade-baba for coming up with such a lame-ass mission for him to complete. It was probably revenge, he thought, for all the pranks he had pulled on her in the past.

Lazily, he scratched his crotch (out of habit, it didn't feel the same) and wandered into the kitchen to find some breakfast. Sasuke was asleep on the couch, he noticed – surprisingly, it seemed the Uchiha was not a neat sleeper, because he had managed to kick his blanket one way, and his pillow another, and now one leg and one arm were handing entirely off the couch, and the other arm was pinned under his body… that's gonna hurt when he wakes up, Naruto thought vaguely, imagining the pins and needles he would feel from a limb that had fallen asleep.

Something about Sasuke looked vaguely different this morning… Naruto slit his eyes and stared. Maybe he just wasn't used to seeing his teammate asleep… but no, he'd seen that lots of times, on missions and stuff, even though Sasuke was generally so anal-retentive that he didn't really like it when people saw him with his guard down. No, it was something else… but he couldn't quite put his finger on what….

The phone rang, and Naruto's heart skipped a beat. No one called him pretty much ever, but the other morning that stalker had called a lot. He went over to the receiver and picked up. On the couch, Sasuke was stirring. He must have heard the call too.

How do I act? Naruto thought nervously. "Hello?" he said, hesitantly.

"Hello? Is this Kumiko-chan?"

"Speaking." Naruto said.

"This is… uh… I don't know if you remember me from the other night, but… Akira? We met at La Maison Blanche?"

"Oh, of course, Akira-san…" he tried to put a little bit of relief into his voice. He was just winging it here. "I heard your messages from the other day, I wanted to call, but…" Naruto lowered his voice, "_He_ came back, you know? And I was so afraid…"

"Your ex?" Akira's voice sounded protective towards Kumiko, and menacing, all at once. "I talked to him. He didn't…"

"Oh, no, nothing like that.." Naruto said, nervously. Sasuke had sat up and was listening to the conversation intently. "I mean… uh… I fought him off… and, uh… got my neighbor to keep an eye out for him… I'm sorry, Akira-san," he hesitated, "I just met you, I shouldn't be bothering you with all this."

"Not at all," said the Sound nin, "If there's anything I can do to help… tell you what," he continued, "Why don't we meet somewhere? I'm a pretty advanced fighter, you know, maybe I can give you some help. At the very least we can talk things over. Ok?"

Naruto looked at Sasuke and mimicked a shudder. Sasuke nodded, grimly.

"That sounds great, Akira-san."

He hung up the phone firmly. "Bleh! Gross." Naruto said. "gross, gross, gross."

Sasuke stretched, cat-like. "What was all that about?"

"The other day, he got the idea that I have this super-possessive ex-boyfriend. I just went with it."

"Fine," Sasuke said, "But don't make your story too complicated. An idiot like you will get confused over the details."

Naruto glared at him. Just for that, he thought, I'm gonna make up at least four or five pointless details to tell this Akira guy today. Just to piss Sasuke off. "I'll call Kakashi and tell him we've moved up the plan."

For a second time, Naruto found himself dolled-up, waiting at a restaurant for a man to come and sweep him off his feet. Today's outfit was something Sakura had run over (she had lamented that Naruto had not been able to negotiate a dinner date, thus giving her time to shop). Since the clothing was Sakura's it was cute and stylish, but tight around Naruto's bust and loose around the waist and hips. This had put Sakura in a bad mood when she saw him try it on.

He played with the soda he had ordered and tried to think of ways to look and act feminine so that his cover wouldn't be blown when Akira came. Two tables over, Kakashi and Sakura had ordered lunch, and were waiting to see what would happen. Sasuke, who, it was felt, was too likely to be recognized by anyone from the Sound, had been ordered to stay far, far away from the whole Sting operation.

"Sorry I'm late." With a look that Naruto supposed was meant to be charming Akira sat down beside him. "I have to be careful wherever I go, you never know who might be looking for me."

"Oh?" Naruto remembered his mission. The sooner I sweet-talk this loser into revealing all his pathetic secrets, the sooner I can drop this body and get back to normal. He opened his eyes very wide, as if he were frightened. "People are looking for you? Are they dangerous?"

Akira nodded grimly. He had a tiny piece of tissue paper on his chin, as if he had cut himself shaving and forgotten to take it off. "Very."

"But, this is Konoha. Surely you are safe here…"

He laughed. "Some of the people looking for me are Konoha ninjas." He looked off, as if gazing into the distance. "Those aren't the ones I'm worried about, though. Anyway, look at yourself. You're in Konoha, and you aren't safe from your ex-boyfriend."

"Oh, that's.. that's because…" Naruto thought fast, "He's a ninja himself, and very well regarded, whereas I'm just a… uh.. waitress… so nobody takes me seriously."

"Oh, is it like that?" Akira said. "What's his name, anyway? Maybe I've heard of him.."

Naruto drew a blank. If he picked a random, fake name, Akira, who presumably had done research on the Hidden Leaf, would probably know it was fake. So he should pick someone real. Kakashi? But if the person he named was too strong, would it scare Akira off? After all, he wanted it to be someone Akira thought he could defeat… Shikamaru? Out. Neji? Out. Chouji? Out, out, out."

"Lee," Naruto said, weakly. "Rock Lee."

Akira looked confused. "I haven't heard of him."

"Well…" Naruto prevaricated, "He was injured a few years ago, so he's pretty much out of action now, but he's got a great reputation in the village, people see him as being a pretty great guy. And he is, in public… but in private he's totally different." He tried to look scared. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Kakashi, looking amused, and Sakura pissed-off. _Well, he thought, I did just start making up rumors about her boyfriend_, Naruto thought.

"Oh, is that it?" Akira looked pleased. "Well, why don't I go and talk to him for you?" He cracked his knuckles.

"Oh, no, you don't understand," Naruto said, desperately… "We've tried all that… it's just, people in the village respect him so much… they see me as being the bad one in all this, and… uh…" Why are we talking so much about me, and my fake life, he wondered. How can I get things back on track? "I'm sorry, Akira-san," he said. "Here I am, spilling all my problems to you, and I haven't even asked about you. Tell me more about yourself."

"Oh," Akira said, "Don't worry about me. Just think of me as… your knight in shining armor."

Oh, Naruto thought. Great. My knight.

"I've got a plan," Akira told him.

So? Sakura asked, once the freak-nin was gone. "What did he say?"

"He wouldn't tell me." Naruto sighed. "Just that I'm supposed to meet him again, tonight, at midnight, by the West gate of town."

"Wow," said Sakura. "I wonder what he's thinking."

Naruto glared. "I think that's unfortunately obvious, don't you?"

"Why did you have to pull Lee into all this, anyway? What if that freak shows up and starts bothering him?"

Kakashi nodded. "Just to be on the safe side, Sakura, why don't you go and fill Lee in on everything that's been happening. You can spend the night at his place, too, just in case."

Sakura flushed. "Ok." She turned to go.

"Since she's occupied with that, " Kakashi continued. "I guess I get to be the one to pick out your next outfit?"

"What are they doing now?"

Sakura groaned. She, Sasuke, and Kakashi were sitting on a rooftop, hidden by a chimney, and Sasuke was using binoculars to watch the progress of Naruto and Akira's second 'date'.

"They're still talking," Sasuke reported, emotionlessly. Geez, Sakura moaned to herself. Sasuke was reporting on the same situation every time Kakashi asked him, giving no indication by the tone of his voice about how lame the entire exercise off. Kakashi was enjoying himself, because he was requiring Sasuke to give running commentary. Obviously it wasn't even necessary, because Kakashi's nose was, as always, deep into his porno book. All Sasuke had said for the past fifteen minutes was 'they're still talking."

"Hey, let me see," she said, finally, just for something better to do. Wordlessly, Sasuke handed over the binoculars. Sakura peered towards the street below them.

"Hey!" She yelped. "They're not just talking! He's got his arm on Naruto's shoulder, and… wow, he's leaning in… like he's gonna… no wait, he just picked a piece of lint or something off Naruto's shirt. But he kind of brushed her boob while he did it. Now, that's trashy… if a guy did that to me, I'd…"

"Swoon in ecstacy?" Kakashi said, helpfully.

"Hey." She gave him a dirty look.

"On second thought, why don't you finish the look-out, Sakura? You clearly have more of a gift for description than Sasuke here."

Pouting, Sakura went back to the binoculars. Had she just gotten tricked? Damn, this was the lamest mission _ever_…

"Hey, wait," she said, surprised. "They're gone."

Akira's brilliant plan to help 'Kumiko-chan', in turned out, was pretty simple. Akira explained it to Naruto in a few words, as they stood on the street.

"I'm leaving Konoha," Akira said. "Tonight. I'd like you to come with me."

Naruto felt his mouth falling open, and then his already overworked brain was forced to start spinning again. What should he do? He didn't want to have to go on a trip with Akira. He didn't want his spy-mission (after all, he'd had to get changed into a _girl_, for goodness sake) to go to waste. Tsunade-baba had said that Akira probably had important information.

"But… but..." he said, "I want to get to know you better, can't we do that before you ask me to make such a big decision?"

Akira looked belligerent. "I already know," he said, grabbing Naruto's hands and pulling them to his chest, "that you're the one for me." He narrowed his eyes. "I don't understand you to understand immediately, but soon, you'll see that we were meant to be together. Once we start moving you'll see."

"Umm… ok… but, you know, I have to pack… and… um… tell my family good-bye… and… uh… have a farewell party?"

"What are you talking about?" Akira gestured. "I'm an outlaw, get it? From now on we're going to live totally free, away from all the ties of normal people. I can buy you new clothes. And you can send your family a note. Unless…" his eyes narrowed dangerously, "Unless you don't _want _to run away with me…"

"Oh, no, not that at all… I definitely want to…" Naruto stammered, inwardly cursing. How was this all getting so out of hand?

"Now," Akira said, firmly, suddenly reaching down and picking up Naruto, bridal-style, in a swooping gesture, "Let's be on our way."

_Damn_, Naruto just had time to think. _This totally sucks._


	4. Part i: Chapter 3

_Hi to all my readers… Sharigan Hikari, FirieGurl, Chikako-Chan, Empress-Dragon, Azure-Blue-eyed-dragon, RickaZcruser and Rosy Boa. Thank you for sticking with me! This is a less funny chapter… I guess it's just plot-building. I finally got around to looking at the newer chapters of the manga, and it seems.. well, I won't say, in case somebody hasn't seen it yet and doesn't want spoilers, but sufficient to say I guess this story diverges from the real story at the point where Kishimoto skips a couple years. _

They left by the Western gate and started moving towards the nearest village to Konoha, only a few kilometers away. Still, it would take them some time, because Naruto, in the guise of a simple non-ninja girl, couldn't move at his normal speed and minced his way down the road instead. Akira offered to carry him the whole way and it was only with a lot of kicking and flailing that Naruto managed to convince him it was a bad idea. From a conservative distance, Team Seven followed, Sakura still annoyed, Kakashi still amused, and Sasuke continuing to show absolutely no interest whatsoever.

It was very late before they reached Nchoubo village. They reached an inn, and Naruto was relieved when the landlady there gave the pair of them a very dirty look and then insisted that, in her 'properly run' establishment, males and females who were not married slept separately.

In the morning, Akira was burning with an excitement that was even weirder than usual. He spoke to Naruto in bursts while they ate breakfast in the inn's kitchen, beginning with his own life history and then generally moving towards more recent topics. It seemed a lot of girls had wronged Akira in the past. Though each one had hurt him indescribably, all the bad experiences hadn't caused him to give up hope that, somewhere, his perfect woman was waiting for him. Now, it seemed, everything in his life was finally coming together.

"So… uh… Akira-san,"

"'Akira' is just fine," the man murmured, touching Naruto's arm lightly. Naruto avoided shuddering. How on earth did Akira get such nasty gray skin, anyway?

"Ok," he said, priding himself on his self-control (how many people would have guessed that he could have been well-behaved for so long? He wondered. He hadn't even tried to kill Akira when the man had touched his boob.) "Then.. .Akira… uh… where are we going, anyway?"

"Nowhere, for now," Akira said, his mouth full of scrambled egg. "We're just waiting."

"Oh." Naruto thought for a moment. "Who are we waiting for?"

"The boss."

"Oh? Who is the boss?"

Finally he managed to get Akira talking. "Have you ever heard of the village of Hidden Sound?"

"Yes…" Naruto said. "I know… they were Konoha's enemies. And the village was destroyed."

"No. That's what people think," Akira grinned evilly.

Not think, moron, Naruto thought. I know. He had been there, and he had seen the village razed, the fire fueled by Sasuke's fire jutsu and by the chakra that had rolled off of Naruto, at that time, from the Kyuubi. The fight in which they had defeated Orochimaru had laid waste to all the land around them for several kilometers.

"The original village was destroyed." Akira said, "And Orochimaru, our great leader, was killed, although we still don't know exactly what happened. But the new leader managed to live, and he has gathered the survivors around him… we are now building a new Sound, that will be even greater than the last. And we have a secret weapon."

"Oooh, a secret weapon," said 'Kumiko', cooing. "That sounds so cool."

"Yeah, it will be. The Leader sent me to Konoha to gather information about the state of their defenses, and about certain ninjas there. I was the only one he could trust the mission too." He looked at Kumiko, obviously expecting a response.

"Oh," said Naruto, dutifully. "Wow! You're awesome!"

"Well… not really…" Akira grinned sheepishly.

_Then why did you want me to say so, moron!_ Inner Naruto shouted.

"Anyway, I'm supposed to meet the leader here. He's been off doing some really important secret mission. Then we will head back to the New Sound."

Naruto nodded as if all this sounded just wonderful to him. Inwardly, he wondered: just how much of a threat was this new Sound, to Konoha, anyway? Hadn't Orochimaru been the only real threat? But, Tsunade had said they needed information, and surely the identity of the new Leader, and the location of the new village, would be important. If they made it to the New Sound, he could even gauge the strength of their forces, and see how dangerous they really were.

He wondered where the rest of team seven was. Doubtless they had found a room in some other inn, and were watching him now, from a safe distance. He wondered if they could hear his conversation with Akira now, or whether they would arrange a meeting so that he could tell them what had passed. He ought to think of some excuse to go of by himself, so that they would have a chance to contact him.

A hooded man entered the bar. When Akira saw him, he straightened, and bowed his head, very slightly. With a smooth movement, the man came and sat down beside him. Naruto could not see his face.

"What's this, Akira?" The voice asked. It sounded vaguely familiar… no, very familiar, Naruto thought. No, it was definitely… "A new toy?"

Akira sounded defensive. "This is Kumiko. Not a toy. She's my woman."

The man laughed, coldly. "You always say that. And, then, sooner or later," he drew his hand across his throat, "you change your mind. "

"Don't listen to him, Kumiko," Akira said. "Those other girls were sluts. You'll never betray me."

"Oh, no." said Naruto, his mind still reeling. He wasn't even thinking about Akira's Bluebeard streak just then. Kabuto, he thought. Definitely Kabuto.

"I think," Kabuto said, lazily, that we have business to discuss now. Kumiko-chan, was it? Could you please excuse us?"

"Oh, Akira," Naruto whined. "Can't I stay? I'm part of Hidden Sound now too, aren't I?"

He felt, rather than saw, the quick look Kabuto gave him. Akira shook his head, curtly. "No, Kumiko. This is men's business."

"Oh… ok…" Naruto said. "Well, I'll go shopping." A little nervous that he had misplayed his hand, he stood up shakily.

"Aren't you forgetting something" Akira said.

"What?"

"Kiss me goodbye?"

His 'Kumiko' façade might have slipped for just a moment. "What?" Quickly he covered. "But… umm… in public and everything?"

"It's fine," Akira growled, taking Naruto's arm and pulling him forward.

Blech, Naruto thought. I never realized that Kunoichis who go on seduction missions have it so tough. Quickly he pecked Akira on his green-gray, scalely cheek.

"Ok," said Akira, happily. "See you later."

"Yeah," said Kumiko. _God, I hope not_, thought Naruto.

As he walked through the busy market of Nchoubo, looking for a fresh outfit to change into, he felt a soft touch on his arm as Sakura fell into step beside him.

"This one is cute," she said, tugging on a soft green dress with ruffles around the collar and hem.

Naruto considered. "Dontcha think it looks a little like a Christmas tree?" As the two girls apparently browsed the racks, he filled her in on all the details.

"Kabuto!" Sakura said, with surprise. "I thought he was dead!"

"He fought with Shikamaru's team during the raid on Sound. Apparently he managed to escape, badly wounded. Shika always said he might have survived.

Sakura's brow furrowed. "Are they really a threat?"

"Go and ask Kakashi what we should do. For now, I'm gonna assume we should keep going. We should find out what 'secret weapon' Akira was talking about."

Sakura nodded. What both of them were thinking, but neither wanted to say, was that Konoha was weak right now. The war with Sound had been a drain on their resources, and Tsunade was struggling to keep Konoha's standing among the other nin villages. They were in a business of cutthroat competition, and any little piece of information about their enemies could become essential.

Naruto looked down the street, and saw Sasuke and Kakashi, apparently looking at books in an outdoor stall. Sasuke glanced at him, briefly, and then looked away, as if he didn't even recognize Naruto. Naruto and Sakura ignored the two men as well.

"Hey, Sakura," Naruto said, suddenly distracted by something. "Doesn't Sasuke look somehow… different… to you recently?"

Sakura was surprised. "No, I don't think so," she said. "Why?"

"I dunno… it's just… since the other day… I feel like… he's gotten really _pretty_."

Sakura chocked. "_What_ did you say?"

Naruto scowled. "Don't tell him or Kakashi, though… I'd never hear the end of it."

Sakura made a show of looking at a pair of pink pants, while trying to think of what to say.

"Naruto… when you say, 'lately' do you mean, since you became a girl?"

Naruto frowned, trying to remember. "Yeah, I think so. The other day, when I woke up, he was sleeping on the couch, and I sort of thought… he looked… weird. Like a girl."

She frowned. "Like a _girl_?"

"Well, yeah."

"What do you mean, like a girl?"

Naruto considered. "Hm… sort of… like, you might wanna protect him, or…"

Something clicked in Sakura's head. She started to giggle. "Sasuke's good-looking, isn't he?"

Naruto scowled. "He's a Nancy boy."

"Yeah… whatever. He's pretty enough that your temporary female hormones are reacting to it. Don't worry." Her giggling had progressed to laughter, and she was now shaking, almost doubled-over, on the street. Over by the book stall, Sasuke and Kakashi were watching the two girls covertly, wondering what was going on. "Hey, Naruto, did you ever think that all the girls act totally crazy around Sasuke?"

"Yeah." Naruto said. _You too_, he thought.

"Well, now you know why. It's a physiological response. Even if you don't really like Sasuke, if your hormones start doing backflips every time he's in the same room, you can't really help it."

"Oh," said Naruto. "That makes sense. It's not that bad, though."

Sakura wiped the tears from her eyes. "I kind of like this," she said. "Now you can see where we've been coming from."

_Wow_, Naruto thought. _Sakura's scary._

They split up. Naruto returned to Akira's hotel with a selection of cute outfits that were absolutely inappropriate for any kind of ninja running, jumping, or fighting, but which Sakura judged as fitting Kumiko's image. Sakura returned to the (decidedly less nice hotel, after all, Konoha was on a budget) hotel that she, Kakashi, and Sasuke were sharing.

"Sakura, what had you laughing so hard in the market today?" Kakashi asked.

Briefly, Sakura considered the promise that she had made to Naruto not to tell, but the story was just too rich. "Listen to this," she said, "this is hilarious."

Sasuke, who had been on watch, came in halfway through her story, to tell Sakura that it was her turn to take over. He distinctly heard Sakura say, "apparently, Sasuke's so good-looking that even fake girls start getting confused."

Slamming the door just loudly enough to get her attention, Sasuke stalked into the room. Sakura and Kakashi looked at him with surprise. Sakura shivered. Sasuke had definitely overheard her, and was not amused. He was giving off death-rays as serious as the ones he had emitted during his time in Sound.

"Ma, Sasuke-kun," she said, trying to diffuse the situation… of course he would be pissed off, he hates hearing about how pretty he is…

"Your watch," Sasuke said.

They set out the next morning. This time, Naruto had to give in to be carried by Akira – Kabuto was absolutely insistent that they move fast. They really were moving fast – going about twice the pace a normal human could have traveled, though a bit slower than Naruto could have managed at top speed. They were heading into a part of the country he didn't know well, an area where the soil was poor and where, as a result, there were few villages, on the border with the water country.

It was late in the afternoon of the third day of travel that they suddenly stepped out of the forest, and onto a plane with only small and stunted trees. The land was becoming very flat. Naruto realized with a start that it would be the very worst kind of terrain for team 7 to follow on, because, with the flat horizon and little cover, one could literally see for kilometers. Of course they would manage, but it meant that they would have to stay further away, and take more risks, than they would in a forest. The forest was, after all, a Konoha nin's natural habitat. It was where they functioned best.

He didn't know that, when team seven had reached the edge of the forest, Kakashi had made a surprising decision.

"Sasuke," he said. "Follow them. Sakura and I will remain here."

Sasuke nodded.

"What? Why?" Sakura asked.

"The terrain is bad… having a team of three is harder to hide, it puts Naruto at greater risk. Also, I think Sasuke knows this area." He leveled a stare at Sasuke. Unfazed, Sasuke shrugged.

"Also, Sasuke knows the Sound. From the reports you wrote when you returned to Konoha, I think that most of them never discovered that you betrayed Orochimaru. So, there may be the chance for you to infiltrate the survivors. If so, watch out for Naruto and try to gather your own information."

"I understand," said Sasuke.

"Also – Sasuke." It was always impossible to determine Kakashi's expression from behind his mask, but Sakura thought that his eyes looked serious. "This is a test, do you understand? By completing this mission, you can help to prove to the council of elders that they have reason to trust you."

_And by giving this mission to you, I am testing you. _

Sasuke nodded, picked up his pack, and headed out into the wasteland. Within a few steps, Sakura could no longer see him. A few meters more, and he was lost to Kakashi as well. He's good, Kakashi thought. He felt both proud, and a little depressed, at the thought.


	5. Part I: Chapter 4

_Thank you again to all kind reviewers: Hunter Hatake and Roxxi Uchiha, Sharingan Hikari, FirieGurl, Joan Mistress of Magic, misty's mystic rose, and devil-speaker.. To Empress-Dragon: I guess I never wrote a good description of Akira. I added a short description to chapter 1. To misty's-mystic-rose (helluva name, btw) – a Nancy boy… is like a euphamism for a guy who's gay, or metrosexual. It's very old-timey. _

xoxoxoxoxo

Naruto spent the next several days trying to avoid Kabuto, and avoid being felt up by Akira, by turns. Both were difficult to do in an environment of very little cover. Akira seemed intent on letting Kabuto 'scout' a little ahead so that he could hang back with 'Kumiko-chan'. Kabuto seemed intent on asking pointed questions to Kumiko. Naruto was sure that Kabuto knew he was a spy – thankfully, he did not believe Kabuto had guessed his real identity – which, if he did, would surely spell the end of things.

Contrary to popular belief, Naruto could be serious, especially when it came to missions. He knew his own bad points – that he was a talker, that he was impulsive. He knew that pretending to be a girl – pretending to be anyone other than who he really was, basically – was not his strong point. The more he talked, the more likely he was to get found out, eventually. His best defense, he had decided, was just to keep his trap shut.

The effect this was producing on the two former sounds members, was, as it happened, just what one would have hoped. Akira, who had more or less coerced or kidnapped all his former girlfriends in the same manner as Kumiko, was used to girls who were nervous or scared and spent a lot of time shifting around, trying to figure out how to either escape from or appease him. Naruto's behavior, odd under other circumstances, appeared quite normal to him. Similarly, Kabuto, who initially have been almost sure Kumiko was a spy, and was still watchful, was given very little become suspicious about again.

Naruto watched him from a guarded distance as he made their fire for the night. That afternoon, as the sun had begun sinking in the sky, they had caught their first glimpse of a low ridge of rock, far away on the horizon. No one spoke, but he had known, from the way both the Sound nin increased their speed, that this must be their destination. Surely they would reach it before the end of the next day.

Kabuto had changed since their last fight with Orochimaru. His hair, formerly pulled back into a short ponytail, had been chopped shorter, and his arms and face were covered by an impressive array of scars. Surely a ninja who knew as much about poisons and healing as Kabuto could have made the scars disappear – he must have chosen not to.

Naruto had never quite understood why Kabuto had stayed loyal to Orochimaru for so long. He must have recognized, as Jiraya and others had often mentioned, that Orochimaru, while brilliant, was insane as well, that he used people only while he had a use for them, and killed, casually, those whose purpose had been served. Orochimaru had lusted for power – Kabuto, while working for Orochimaru, would only always have been a tool, forced to show absolutely loyalty, and given little room to breathe on his own. Why, then, had he stayed for so long? Had there been no way to escape? Did he have some secondary goal that being with Orochimaru had helped him to fulfill? Kabuto had not seemed the type to take on the role of a servant forever, willingly. Sasuke would have known the answer, but speaking to Sasuke on the subject of the Sound, or his time away from Konoha generally, was a taboo subject, especially after he had gotten so angry with a few chuunin who had made careless comments. Naruto was not afraid of angering Sasuke, but he realized that some subjects were best left alone.

Kabuto had built the fire to a small glow, and removed loaves of bread from his sack, which he proceeded to put on stones by the fire, to warm them. He was humming slightly, as if he was pleased about something. Something Akira had told him had made him happy. Naruto dearly wanted to know what that was. He was sure that, once he could get Akira alone, he could make him tell Naruto everything.

"Tomorrow" Akira said, coming up behind him, "We will reach the new Sound. You'll like it there."

"Ok," Naruto mumbled, not sure what an appropriate reply was.

"I have a nice room," Akira said. "You can put up pictures, if you like, and decorate things. The other guys can be dangerous, but I won't let them mess with you." Sneakily, he had moved his hand to Naruto's knee, and began massaging Naruto's leg lightly.

Bletch… Naruto thought. He looked, instead, pointedly, at Kabuto. "Not when he's around…" he whispered.

This was getting awkward. Akira was becoming more and more persistent, and now it seemed pretty clear that, once they reached the new Sound, he was expecting to seal the deal. Naruto avoided sighing while the ugly fish-man looked at him.

xoxoxoxoxo

He had discovered easily that, of the two Sound, Kabuto was a very good watch, and it would be impossible to sneak away on his watch. Akira, on the other hand, was lazy. On that night, Akira had second watch, which was generally a good thing, because it meant that Kabuto would be tired enough to sleep heavily after his own shift was over. Naruto waited until a half an hour after they had switched and then slipped away. It was a moonless night, and luckily, as they were approaching the large rock face, a number of boulders had begun to dot the landscape.

He had moved only a few hundred feet away from the camp when he heard the soft crunch of Sasuke's footstep in the sand.

"Dobe," said the voice. "What are you doing?"

"Asshole," said Naruto, by way of returning the greeting. "I wanted to tell you that that rock wall is our destination. The village is somewhere around there. Do you know it? Where are Kakashi and Sakura?"

"Only I am following," Sasuke said. "Kakashi thought three would be too noticeable." He paused, "I don't know the village, but I heard rumors in Sound… of a place Orochimaru had discovered, a very large cave that he was making into a base. He never told me the location, but perhaps…"

"Should be." Said Naruto. "When we reach there tomorrow, we will have the location. But what will you do?"

"Kakashi suggested I might return to Sound, pretend to want to rejoin them."

"Kabuto knows you betrayed Orochimaru."

"Kabuto…" Sasuke sighed. "It wouldn't work. I'll wait somewhere away from the village, and hide. See what information you can get in a few hours and then escape quickly, once night comes."

"Why?" Naruto asked. "My identity is still hidden. I can stay undercover longer."

"Dobe!" Sasuke spoke more sharply than he intended. He calmed himself. "We already have Kabuto's identity, and soon we will have the location of the Sound as well. That is enough."

"What about the secret weapon Akira spoke of? What about judging their strength, their members?"

"Just from seeing the place, we'll be able to tell a lot." Sasuke's voice grew lazy. It was his way, he knew, of dealing with a difficult topic – act as though it was very unimportant. "Anyway, dobe, haven't you realized the other reason why you can't stay in Sound?"

"What?" Asked Naruto, sharply. He was afraid that he had forgotten something obvious, that Sasuke would bug him over.

"The whole world's not as naïve and innocent as you. Can't you see the way Akira's been leering over you? He has a bad track record with women, and if you go to Sound he'll definitely want you to…"

"…sleep with him?" Naruto cut in. "I thought of that."

Sasuke looked at him coolly. "Dobe, so you see why it won't work."

"Why not? Do you think he'd be able to tell I'm not a girl?"

Sasuke felt like hitting Naruto. "No, moron, do you think you'd be able to go through with it?"

Naruto shrugged casually. "Why not? It's not really my body. Granted, I'm not an expert, but I think all I've gotta do is lie there."

"Are you an idiot?"

"Geez, why are you getting upset? Is there really a problem with the plan?"

Sasuke rubbed his head. "Yes… it's crazy."

"Oh, that's rich, coming from you."

Sasuke felt himself getting angry. Sometimes arguing with the dobe was like hitting your head against a stone wall. If Naruto hadn't already made his mind up, he could be easily influenced, but if he'd already come to a decision, you couldn't sway him, no matter how stupid or pig-headed the choice he'd made… in the back of his mind, Sasuke realized he should be grateful for the dobe's ability to stick with decisions everyone else thought were wrong. After all, how else would he himself have been saved? Even so, now his decision was definitely wrong.

"I'm telling you this is a terrible idea."

"Well, luckily, it's not your decision."

"Moron!" He felt his voice getting louder, and hastily brought it back down. He didn't want to wake up the camp, after all. The two boys glared at each other, and Sasuke felt his blood rising, felt an urge to activate his sharingan and knock Naruto and drag him back to Konoha, if that was the only way to dissuade him.

"I'm not gonna change my mind," said Naruto, calmly. "And you can't defeat me, especially not here when a fight would alert the enemy to our presence and ruin the mission."

"Fine!" Sasuke said, rudely.

They stayed quiet for a moment. Then, Naruto spoke. "I don't know why you're getting so pissy over this. After all, Kunoichi do seduction missions, and they're sacrificing something _real_… this body is just an illusion, like I told you."

"You'd be able to feel it, won't you? And, anyway, Konoha stopped doing those kind of missions years ago. Plus, the kunoichi who did them had special training."

"Well, I'm improvising… excuse me."

Sasuke groaned. "God, you're a moron." He thought for another moment. "Ok, dobe, if you really want to do this, you want me to sleep with you first?"

"What?" Naruto gapped. "No!"

Sasuke felt his eye twitch. "Isn't that what they used to do? If the kunoichi was a virgin, she'd have a close friend or comrade take her virginity before she went on a seduction mission. Unless…" he looked at Naruto. "You aren't a virgin?"

"Ugh, Sasuke, I hate you! Fine, I'm a virgin _– I can't believe I have to have this conversation with you _– and no, I absolutely do NOT want to sleep with you first. God, I think that would give me more nightmares than that creepy guy."

"Oh?" Sasuke said coldly. Propositioning Naruto hadn't been exactly easy for him, either, and he thought the dobe could have refused a little more graciously.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, you're a good friend, and everything, but I kinda don't want to do this more than absolutely necessary, you get it?"

"Kumiko... –chan?"

From the direction of the camp, Akira came towards them, walking carefully. Sasuke could see well at night, and Naruto had some benefit from the kyuubi's eyes, but Akira, with neither, was relying on a flashlight to see. The beam fell across Naruto's face, and then Sasuke's, and Akira let out an audible gasp… "Sasuke-sama?"

"You know him?" Naruto asked.

"No." Sasuke said, curtly.

"We never spoke..." Akira said, "but of course I know of you… Sasuke-sama, who was being personally trained by Orochimaru-sama…" His eyes narrowed. "You betrayed us."

"Eat shit," said Sasuke, who suddenly found the tension of the previous few days too much and wanted badly to take it out on someone. He rushed at Akira, who Naruto suddenly felt a kind of sympathy for- the man barely had time to sink his body into a good fighting stance before the Uchiha was on him, slitting his throat so quickly that he didn't even had time to scream before his body collapsed to the ground, and blood began to spread in the sand.

"Shit, Sasuke!" Naruto hissed. "Was that really necessary?"

"Dobe," said Sasuke. "Give him time to yell, and he would have blown our cover."

"Too late," came a playful voice from behind them both. Turning, they saw Kabuto walking out of the shadows. His hood was off, and he smiled evilly at both of them. "Long time no see, Sasuke-kun."

xoxoxoxoxo

They turned to face Kabuto. Sasuke and Naruto spread themselves so as to cover the greatest area.

"Be careful," Sasuke hissed. "He's not that strong, but he has poisons… and weird jutsus…. And I don't know how many of Orochimaru's jutsu's he managed to learn…"

"Oh, don't be like that, Sasuke-kun," Kabuto said, still grinning manically. "Why do we have to fight?"

"I think," said Sasuke, speaking through clenched teeth, "that is fairly obvious."

"Oh?" Kabuto tilted his head. "You killed Orochimaru. I could take revenge for that. But I'm not a vindictive person. Sasuke-kun, why not return to the Sound? There is still the opportuntity to grow, to increase your power. I have a feeling Konoha must be boring for you, these days."

"Shut up!" Said Naruto. Sasuke thought he heard a note of desperation in the blond's voice – did Naruto really believe he could be convinced by such weak arguments?

"Oh? I don't think we've been properly introduced, 'Kumiko-chan'." Kabuto turned towards Naruto. "Konoha must be getting pretty desperate, to go back to those seduction missions the Third so self-righteously put an end too. You're a brave girl, I guess, trying to help your village." He turned back to Sasuke. "In fact, Sasuke-kun… what I could offer you… is a partnership. What do you think? You can even be Otokage, if you like. Leader of your own village, even a ruined one like Sound, isn't bad. There are still nins loyal to Sound, and others as well, mercenaries who are hoping to gain something from joining our cause. We can come back."

"I don't think so," Sasuke said, quietly.

"Oh? But you haven't even heard the best part." Kabuto's eyes flickered wildly, and Naruto, watching, wondered if had only recently gone mad, or if he had been so for a long time. "I have information, you know… information that would die with me, if you killed me now… about _Itachi_…"

He saw, just barely saw, Sasuke's body flinch, when Kabuto uttered his brother's name. Oh no, Naruto thought. How easily that name could ruin everything…

Sasuke cast a quick glance at Naruto. He caught the blonde's eye, and then looked away from him. It looked as though Sasuke was trying to tell him something. But what?

"Itachi?" Sasuke said, lazily. Dangerously lazy. As he became only when he was very serious.

Kabuto nodded. "Would you like to come with me to the village? I will tell you more once we arrive."

xoxoxoxoxo

And so Naruto found his hands firmly bound, and tied with a short rope that Kabuto held at all times. They traveled through the night (though what the reason for this urgency was, Naruto could not be sure).

The village seemed to be, as Sasuke had described, a vast cave that had been carved and chiseled into a web of tunnels and rooms, doubtless an ideal place to hide even a medium-to-large sized operation. The entrance was nothing more than a small hole, which, after a time and a few turns, opened into a large room, with a door at it's end guarded by two strong men.

"Put her in a cell," Kabuto said to one of the guards, and Naruto was left, tired and frustrated, as he watched Kabuto and Sasuke walking away. What should he do? The look in Sasuke's eyes, he thought, at that moment, had seemed to say, 'trust me'. Therefore, Naruto had not resisted being captured, and did not now resist being locked in a cell. _I have believed in Sasuke for a long time_, he told himself. _I can believe in him a little more. _In any case, it seemed that Kabuto had not realized who he was, and therefore the cell, while sufficient to hold an ordinary nin, did not look so strong to him. He could probably escape easily, should he need to…


	6. Part I: Chapter 5

_Again, thank you to all my reviewers for the last chapter: Jyra, Sharingan Hikari, hisakata0chan, frogger666, Devil-Speaker, Saria's-crown11, Empress-Dragon, narutworshipper, The Unfaithful One, Bloodluvingirl, blue-nuriel, Firework. It really does motivate me to write when people say nice things! Plus it's spring break, so I've got some spare time, finally. So, to narutoworshipper: finally a little bit of sasunaru. Its gonna stay discrete, b/c I wanna stay in the spirit of what this site intends. To Devil-Speaker: yeah, some explanation of Sasuke's sexuality and what's going on in that pretty little head of his. To Blue-nuriel – uh, thanks, but I'm pretty sure Sakura's gonna get bitchy later on. Redeemable, but still bitchy. Firework: changed. Cheers._

**xoxoxooxoxoxo**

He sat for three days and nights. There were no other prisoners. The guards fed him and otherwise left him alone. They seemed to be tired, rather desperate men, and Naruto wondered about them, tried to talk to them – but harshly they told him to shut up. They were the mercenaries Kabuto had spoken of, he thought – they spoke to each other, mostly about gold, and nearby villages that might be looted, and the probability of finding anything worthwhile in them.

**Xoxoxooxoxoxo**

There was one thing bothering Naruto, and as he sat in the cell he tried to think through his situation, and wondered if the one secret he had been keeping from Sasuke would become a problem for him now.

The secret was a big one: before Sasuke had returned to Konoha, Naruto and Jiraya had meet Uchiha Itachi in a small town just inside the border to the Sand Country.

There, they had fought, as they had in the past. This time, though,

through some miracle, Naruto and Jiraya had managed to find the upper hand. They had killed Kisame, and Naruto had managed to come very close to killing Itachi as well...

It had come largely from recognizing Itachi's one major weakness, which was that the majority of his power was concentrated in his sharingan. By that time, Naruto's ability to control the Kyuubi's power had improved (or perhaps the Kyuubi had just decided to cooperate with Naruto a bit more, judging her chances with him to be a bit better than if Akatsuki were to extract her), and he had managed to create a wind of chakra, like a knife, that swept across Itachi's face, destroying his ability to use the mangekyou sharingan in one quick (and, if Naruto was honest with himself) very lucky strike. During that period, Naruto had been improving very rapidly. Itachi had underestimated him.

After that time, rumors began to surface that Itachi had left the Akatsuki. Naruto did not know the reason, but he suspected it was somehow related to their fight. A good medical nin might replace eyes, though the ways in which it was done were not always entirely ethical. Sharingan eyes, however, were impossible to get back.

Or were they? There was, after all, one pair still left on the planet. Those belonged to Sasuke. Was it logical to believe Itachi would someday come to take these from his younger brother? Or was there any other way for him to get them?

When they finally succeeded in getting Sasuke back from Sound, Itachi had been one more subject that was impossible to broach with the Uchiha. Naruto's fight with Itachi was classified anyway, for obvious reasons. He suspected that Jiraya and Tsunade were the only ones who knew. He knew that one of the reasons Sasuke had left Orochimaru might have had to do with Itachi, with his belief that his older brother, having disappeared, might really be gone for good. In the face of that doubt, it had become unclear to Sasuke what he was still doing with Orochimaru.

He did not want to tell Sasuke that he had 'almost' beaten his brother. He suspected Sasuke might see this as a threat, or as meddling. He did not know how Sasuke would react if he discovered the secret now. But, also, he did not know what Kabuto's information about Itachi might be.

When finally a guard came, jangling his keys, opened Naruto's door and unsealed the chakra barriers that were meant to hold him in, he was so relieved that he would be in for a change that he almost hugged the man. The guard tied a bit of rope to his handcuffs and ordered Naruto to walk. They went through an enumerable number of winding, cold stone passages, before entering a room that was well lit with torches, and warm by comparison with the rest of the cave.

"Here is the girl, Kabuto-sama…"

"Fine. Put her on the table."

One cool iron clasp went around his foot, and then he started struggling. With effort the guard managed to clasp his other foot, and then began to work on his hands.

"You bastard!" Naruto yelled. "What are you doing?"  
"Prisoner-of-war, Kumiko," Kabuto said, smoothly. "I need subjects for my experiments…"

"Argh! Stop that, asshole, I'm not gonna… mmph!" The guard had stuffed a rag in his mouth.

He tested the irons. He ought to be able to break them, but… damn girl's body!... it was a little weaker than his normal body ought to be. Alternatively, he could call on the fox's chakra enough to melt the things… of course, then his cover would be well and truly blown…  
"Now, don't worry, Kumiko-chan… I'm just going to put these drops in your eyes…"

Damn! He tried to call up all the chakra he could, but realized that there was some sort of barrier on the table… Kabuto leaned over, trying to pry open his eyelid…

"And what?" Said a cold voice, "Are you doing?"

From his position on the table Naruto couldn't see anyone who wasn't standing directly over him. He resisted the urge to yell out to (at?) Sasuke.

"An experiment…." Kabuto said, simply. "If it works, after about twenty treatments this girl would have enhanced vision, similar to the Sharingan, like you."

"Oh?" Sasuke sounded amused. "Is that something you distilled from my blood, then?"

"Also your sweat." Kabuto sighed, rather melodramatically. "I wanted your tears too, but as I recall, you told me to go fuck myself."

"And if it fails?"

"She will go blind… or die…" Kabuto shrugged. "I don't have a lot of test subjects, so research on this is going fairly slowly."

"Well," Sasuke said, "It'll have to go slower, now, because you can't use this one."

"I can't? Why not?"

"I want her."

"Oh?" Kabuto sounded interested. "What for?"

"That's my business, Kabuto."

He saw the man above him frown, and then, with a sigh, unlock one of Naruto's hands. "If you want her, Uchiha… I hope you aren't still feeling some misplaced loyalty to Konoha, though."

"As if," Sasuke's voiced dripped with sarcasm.

Kabuto paused. Then, with a delibrate gesture, he grabbed Naruto's free hand, wrestled in back into the manacle, and clicked it shut. Inwardly Naruto whined. _And I was almost free!_

"I've known you for too long, Sasuke-kun… that argument sounds a little weak. Tell you what? Why don't you kill this little kitten instead? Then I'll know that you're loyal, and give you the information about your brother you've been bothering me about."

The room seemed suddenly to become very still, very quiet. Was Sasuke hesitating? Naruto thought frantically. He couldn't be hesitating… Sasuke wouldn't… and yet, Naruto thought, what Sasuke wanted more than anything in the world – what he had been willing to kill Naruto over, in the past… was a path to Itachi…

"That sounds," said Sasuke's voice, sounding cold, as cold as Naruto could ever remember it sounding… it sounded _wrong_… "Almost as if you are trying to _threaten_ me."

Kabuto continued to look, steadily across the table at Sasuke.

"How dare you," Sasuke growled, "have the audacity to threaten _me_?"

Still pinned, Naruto heard, rather than saw, the crash of bottles hitting the floor – Sasuke had pushed over a rack of Kabuto's specimens, with one broad stroke. He saw Kabuto grin, and he saw the kunai Kabuto pulled from his back pocket as he rushed toward Sasuke. _This is gonna be a smack-down_… Naruto thought… and felt a little annoyed that he was going to get left out. By the time he had managed to free his left hand, the lab was destroyed, and Kabuto and Sasuke had very nearly managed to spill foul-smelling things all over him as they went after each other. By the time he got his right hand undone, Sasuke's sharingan-activated eyes were blood red, and Kabuto's left shoulder was covered in blood, and the guards who had rushed to the scene when they had heard the noise had hastily retreated again.With his hands free, he managed to grab a dropped kunai, and was close to unlatching his feet when he heard Kabuto cough – a wet cough that a normal person might not recognize, but which a ninja automatically associated with a person whose lungs had filled with blood.

"You DARE try and tell me what to do?" Sasuke was yelling. "Listen to me, Kabuto, there is no partnership between us. You do everything I tell you, understand? I killed Orochimaru, that means I'm the one in charge here! I should finish you right here!"

Surprisingly, Kabuto seemed to like this turn of events. He was smiling, in a vague, creepy way that made Naruto's skin crawl. So this is what it's like to live in the Sound, he thought. Was it some kind of miracle that Sasuke had lived among them for such a long time without loosing his humanity all together.

"I'm going to my room," Sasuke said, abruptly. "Have someone bring me the girl."

Naruto felt… shaken. He let the guards capture him, re-cuff him, and lead him through a series of corridors indistinguishable from any of the others. Sasuke was never emotional around him, or the rest of team 7 – he was never emotional in Konoha. He hadn't even shown emotion when he had said that he would go back with them to Konoha. In fact, the only emotions Naruto had almost ever seen Sasuke express were annoyance, and anger, and frustration mixed with the desire for revenge. To see Sasuke enraged at Kabuto… he shook his head, trying to push his negative thoughts away. The guards led him to a room, pushed him in, and shut the door. He stood for a moment, letting his eyes adjust to the light.

"Dobe," said Sasuke – coolly, ironically – "you can stay here from now on."

"What if they're listening?" Naruto said.

"They aren't listening," Sasuke said, carelessly. "They're all busy being scared stiff."

Sasuke was sitting on his bed. He had taken off his shirt. Beside the bed was a small table with a basin of water and a pitcher. He was using a towel to wipe himself off.

Hesitantly, Naruto made his way to the chair next to the bed and sat down. Sasuke looked at him and sighed.

"When are you gonna drop that girly jutsu?"

"Huh? I thought it was better if no one knew it was me."

Sasuke shrugged.

"Sasuke… what happened back there?"

The black haired boy looked at him, expressionlessly. "I could explain, but I don't think there's any reason you need to understand."

Naruto felt himself getting mad. "No, Asshole, you're gonna explain it to me. Because I need to know." He paused. "I need to know what the hell is going on."

Sasuke looked surprised. "Just trust me, Naruto."

"Not…" Naruto felt, to his horror, tiny tears forming at the corner of each eye. Furiously, he got up, and retreated to the darkened corner of the room, where Sasuke would not see. "Not good enough."

"Hm.." Sasuke said. "Ok, fine. To be blunt: Kabuto is only happy when he's somebody's bitch."

Naruto gaped.

"Not literally, moron! I mean, Kabuto gets off on being bossed around. What happened back there was me doing my best Orochimaru impression. That's what he really wanted, that's why he wanted me to come back, anyway. I just gave him what he wanted. Now," Sasuke sounded confident, "I should be able to get him to spill any information he was, about anything, to me. I should even be able to get him to dismantle this whole operation, if I can make him think its part of some larger plan…"

"And is that what you want to do?"

Sasuke looked at him sharply. "What do you mean?"

"All of a sudden you've got an army of men, the remains of Orochimaru's experiments… his old scrolls and stuff might be here too, if they weren't destroyed at the original Sound… you don't want that?"

Sasuke snorted. "This crap? The men are losers, guys who don't have anywhere better to do. Half of them aren't even ninjas, just riffraff. Everything of true value must have been destroyed in at the Old Sound. Which, _by the way_, I destroyed the first time. Kabuto has totally lost it, he's a lunatic trying to recreate something that never truly existed. Sticking with these guys isn't…" he looked at Naruto, and paused. "Of course we're going back to Konoha."

"Isn't going to help you find Itachi?" Naruto said. "Is that what you were going to say?"

Sasuke sighed. He didn't like having these conversations with Naruto. It seemed the blonde liked to pry. And, for some crazy reason, felt as though he had the right to do so. _This is why I don't like friends_, he reminded himself. Friends think it's ok to get personal.

"I'm not gonna lie and say I don't want to find Itachi," he said, finally. "I haven't given up on that – just – put it on hold." He raised his voice. "What else was I supposed to do, anyway? Itachi seems to have fallen off the face of the Earth. Nothing about him for more than a year and a half. Orochimaru was a dead end. Even if I met him now, I'm not sure I'd be strong enough… to…"

Naruto sighed. He walked back towards Sasuke, and sat down on the bed beside him.

"What if Itachi became weak?"

"Then beating him would have no purpose."

"Huh? Even though what you wanted was revenge in the first place?"

"I'd still kill him."

"It just wouldn't be as satisfying, you mean."

Sasuke glared at him.

"What if someone else defeated him first?"

Sasuke glared some more. "I don't know, Naruto. That would never happen. Now shut up."

"So what you're basically saying is, we're going back to Konoha, because that's still a better opportunity for you than staying here."

"Yeah," said Sasuke. "I guess so. Is that so bad?"

Naruto held back a sigh. _I thought I had gotten Sasuke back six months ago. But it seems I never did at all. _

They sat together, side by side on the bed, in silence. Sasuke felt annoyed. He couldn't see what he had said that was wrong. Despite that Naruto seemed depressed. It still felt weird to Sasuke to see Naruto in his girly form: long hair, thin arms… breasts. Not that Naruto hadn't been good-looking as a boy, too.

It had been Sasuke's foolish dream, long ago: the one he had repeated to himself, late at night, when he was feeling weak in the village of Sound; the one he would swear to himself never to think about again, at times when he was feeling strong: the details might change a bit, here and there, but the essentials were always the same.

He had returned to Konoha. Or Naruto had left the leaf. Itachi was dead. Somehow, they were together: _together_, even though that was the kind of relationship Sasuke had never imagined while he had still been in Leaf. Well, when he had left Leaf, he had been only thirteen years old: he had only just been starting to think much about sex at all, frankly.

It was in Sound that he had first become aware of the possibility of a relationship between men. And the possibility had intrigued him. Right away he had begun to wonder about his relationship with Naruto: there was no other person on Earth who could make him feel as charged, in a positive way, as the blond when they were sparring.

Women had never been attractive to him, so Sasuke began to assume that he was gay. He had even taken a lover, for a little while. He had told himself that he had done it to forget Naruto: that a real physical relationship might chase the fantasies out of his head.

He told himself that, but the Sound-nin he had chosen to sleep with had been blonde haired, and blue-eyed, and there was absolutely nothing else that Sasuke could remember about him.

Sex hadn't been as big a deal as everyone had made it out to be. After that little experiment, he had never wasted his time looking for it again.

Then he killed Orochimaru.

Then he went back to Leaf.

And found Naruto, the same kid if in a slightly bigger body, still ready to spar and to joke around and to be Sasuke's best friend, but otherwise untouched by time: still making the same naïve come-ons to Sakura or the other girls; but somewhat seemingly ambivalent to sex, somehow completely unaware of the huge tension that seemed to Sasuke to be filling the room whenever the two of them stood together. It looked pretty obvious that Naruto wasn't interested in men.

That drove Sasuke crazy. How could Naruto not even notice him, when he spent half his nights jacking off to thoughts of the blond? But realizing that it was hopeless was even worse: Naruto's completely asexual attitude towards him made him feel like a pervert lusting after a little kid.

So he had tried to distance himself from his old friend, as much as he could – but still spending time with Naruto, as much as he needed to. It was a delicate balance: ok, a farce, if Sasuke wanted to be honest with himself. If he really been ready to give up the blond, he would have gotten the hell out of Konoha as soon as he realized how one-sided his feelings were.

But.

But…

That comment of Sakura's had intrigued him the other day. Sasuke had always assumed that he was gay, because for as long as he had been capable of sexual feelings he had been lusting after Naruto. But Naruto in a girl form wasn't bad either. Surprisingly, Sasuke found his teammate attractive either way.

And, apparently, Naruto in a girl form thought Sasuke was _pretty_.

"Hey, Naruto," Sasuke said.

"Huh?" It seemed the blond was on the verge of drifting off – his legs were still danging off the side of Sasuke's bed but his body was flopped over, resting.

Sasuke heard a noise in the corridor.

"Quick, I think someone's coming," he said, and lowered himself onto Naruto, allowing himself to kiss as much as he wanted, grope- Naruto's eyes opened wide, and then he caught the meaning of what Sasuke had said and went along with it, even letting Sasuke lift up his arms and pull off Naruto's shirt, which was halfway over his head by the moment when Kabuto walked into the room.

"Oh," said the former Sound-nin, amusedly. "You weren't joking, Sasuke-sama, when you said that you wanted the girl."

Sasuke looked away from Naruto, glaring. "How dare you interrupt," he snarled.

Kabuto bowed slightly. "My apologies. But I thought there was something you might like to see."

**xoxoxooxoxoxo**

Naruto sulked. Why was he left alone – locked in Sasuke's room, and with an armed guard in front of the door, no less – while Sasuke got to go and look at all the cool stuff, the top-secret awesome weapons that Kabuto was hiding?

Oh, yeah – because Sasuke was the one playing the part of the super-evil, super-powerful Orochimaru-successor, (and doing a freakily good job of it, too) while Naruto was playing the part of the weak, sucky, captured Konoha ninja and damsel in distress.

He was surprised to feel his own hand brushing his lips. He hadn't just been thinking about Sasuke kissing him, had he? Naruto frowned. Sasuke's hand had been on his boob too, which meant (if you wanted to be technical about it) that Naruto had now gone further with the Uchiha than anyone else.

He shuddered.

The scarier thing was, that it had felt pretty good.

"Stupid female hormones," he muttered. This must have been what Sakura was talking about when she said that girls reacted to Sasuke even against their will. How could he even be thinking that Sasuke was….

"What are you thinking about, dobe?"

The bastard was back. Leaning against the doorframe casually, smirking in a way that always particularly made Naruto's blood boil. It didn't help when Sasuke sauntered into the room, letting the door swing shut behind him.

"Wait," said Naruto, feebly. "Can't you leave the door open?"

Sasuke looked at him scornfully. "Are you a complete moron? The whole goal is to have some privacy. So we can talk. I sent the guards away, so they'll think that we're having sex."

He said it so clinically that Naruto felt like an idiot. "Oh yeah."

Sasuke smiled. On the scale ranging from true smile to smirk, this one ranked somewhere in the middle, and might have been described as 'predatory."

"Hey, Naruto?" He said, just when Naruto said. "So, what did you see?"

Sasuke frowned. "It's pretty bad, Naruto."

"Really? How bad?"

Sasuke considered. "Maybe not bad for Konoha. I mean, Kabuto's 'secret weapon' – if you can call it that – strikes me as being so far off the deep end that – I dunno, it may be that he's totally just lost it."

"Yeah?" Naruto was impatient. "So what is it?"

"Do you remember that juice he was trying to squirt into your eye before? To give you the Sharingan?"

"Uh huh,"

"Well, he thinks that with a few more test subjects he can nail it down. Then he's gonna give it to a whole bunch of mercenaries. Then he's going to use his army of sharingan-users to destroy Konoha and anyone else who stands in his way." Sasuke looked impassive.

Naruto gaped. "I think he's really lost it."

"Me too. He didn't even seem concerned when I reminded him that the Sharingan takes years of practice, just to learn how to activate…" Sasuke stopped.

"Regardless," Naruto said, "This is bad, though. Even if his world-domination plan is entirely impractical, we can't let stuff like that get onto the black market. What if Akatsuki or even one of our allies got a hold of it?"

"Yeah…" Sasuke said. He was impressed with the way Naruto was thinking – politically, almost like a Hokage. He had been thinking more about all the flaws in Kabuto's idea, not the inevitable fall-out from it. "We need to work on a plan…"

"And send a message back to Konoha."

Sasuke nodded. "Quickly, before Kabuto has time to complete his formula. He's so anxious that he's using soldiers as guinea-pigs now, not just prisoners." He stopped.

Together, in whispers, the two boys talked long into the night. It was agreed that, in the morning, they would incapacitate the guards – allowing Naruto to go down to the dungeon, where the prisoners would be freed: hopefully creating enough panic for Naruto to escape back to Leaf in the confusion. Kabuto would assume that Naruto had killed the guards alone, and Sasuke would stay on, waiting for Naruto to return with reinforcements. If necessary he could try to kill Kabuto and destroy his equipment by himself.

**xoxoxooxoxoxo**

Naruto had almost finally drifted off to sleep when he felt Sasuke's hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, Naruto."

"Hmm?"

"That thing today – when we kissed."

That woke Naruto up a little. "What?"

"You want to try it again?"

"Huh? Is someone coming?"

Sasuke sighed. "No, dobe. I just thought – I mean, you're a guy too, you must want to… try it out. It felt good today, right?"

Naruto looked at Sasuke, and groaned. "I guess so."

"You guess so?" Sasuke's face was dangerously close.

"Yeah," Naruto mumbled. "It did."

"And what if I do… this?"

Naruto squeaked a little. "Yeah,"

"And this?"

"Uh huh…"

And that certainly gave Naruto a lot to think about. In fact, even as he was in the process of knocking out the two guards, and dragging their bodies into the closet, he was mostly thinking about the night before. Even when he made his way down to the dungeon and used his chakra to open the locks of the prison doors, he was thinking about Sasuke's tongue in his mouth. When he ran among the prisoners, urging them to overpower the guards at the main entrance, he was thinking about Sasuke's hand on his hip, and the feeling of Sasuke – he blushed – hard, brushing against him through layers of clothing. When he escaped into the wasteland separating the Sound-nin's hide-out from the forests of Konoha, he ran faster, thinking about the way his breath had hitched up and the way Sasuke had held his hands above his head and his hand traced the line of hickeys still left behind, right where the Uchiha had placed them.

**xoxoxooxoxoxo**

Sasuke waited. He sat on a broad chair engraved intricately with Snakes, one he remembered being in Orochimaru's possession from long ago. Kabuto had brought it to him from somewhere, and, as much as it creeped him out to sit in it, it was still better than nothing.

"How long until you can complete the formula?" He asked Kabuto, coldly.

Kabuto frowned. "Any day now, Uchiha-sama. I promise."

"Your life depends on it, Kabuto." Sasuke smirked. Inwardly, he frowned. Maybe it was best just to kill Kabuto now. Naruto had been sure that he could bring reinforcements within four days, but it had been five, and that was really pushing…

From somewhere distant in the cave, they heard a crash. Moments later, a nin rushed in.

"It's the Leaf!" He yelled. He saw Sasuke and cringed with fear, but it didn't stop him from hissing, "you betrayed us! Again…"

"Did you really?" Kabuto asked, smiling, looking strangely happy.

"Of course," said Sasuke, and, leaping from the horrible snake-throne, activated his Sharingan. Kabuto leapt back, into a fighting pose. "Oh, why fight me?" Sasuke hissed. "Wouldn't you prefer to die by my hand?"

Kabuto's eyes narrowed, but Sasuke felt his resolve waver, just for a moment.

"You know," Kabuto said. "When you do that, you do look so much like… Orochimaru-sama…"

"Your wet dream, unfulfilled," Sasuke snarled. "If you like, when I finish you, you can pretend it was him."

**xoxoxooxoxoxo**

Leaf swept through the remains of Sound like a hurricane crushing a village of ants. Tsunade wasn't taking any chances – and this time she had the men to do it.

One man, a member of Root, was the first to reach Kabuto's laboratory and dosed himself with Kabuto's drops, the use of which had been briefed to him from Naruto's report. For his trouble, his eyes began to burn, and the man went blind: it seemed to prove that Kabuto's formula had been incomplete.

There was no chance this time that Kabuto had slipped away, either. His battle with Sasuke did not last long: these days, there were very few people who could last any length of time against the last Uchiha.

Sasuke wasn't really thinking about Kabuto, even when he killed him. He was thinking about Naruto, and wondering if Naruto would have fought with more mercy. Or how Naruto was able to kill with mercy. Or if he himself was a heartless being for killing with no emotion at all, and wondering if Naruto would ever be able to forgive him for it.


	7. Part II: Chapter 6

_Thank you to Sharigan-Hikari, takuya, Hikory, FirieGurl, Empress-Dragon, Shaay, Akirakun17, Joan Mistress of Magic, Nekonoir, laurelangel, saruke101, Saria's-crown11, and knickknack99. I really appreciate it! This chapter we get into some Sakura-bashing, and… uh.. that's about it!_

On the long trek back to Konoha, everyone was tired, and there wasn't any need to hurry as they had on the first leg of their trip. They traveled at a normal pace, walking through the wasteland in the daytime and stopping at night to form a large camp. The ninjas built bonfires that burned high into the air (a sign of total victory, for a ninja could never reveal his location when enemies still might be lurking) and told stories and played games long into the night.

As Naruto and Sasuke walked along together, on the day when the group left the wasteland and returned to the Konoha forest, Sasuke stole a surrepticious glance at Naruto. He was still in his girl form, with long blond pigtails and an inappropriately large male chuunin's outfit sagging at his waist.

"Hey, dobe," he said. "How come you haven't changed back?"

Naruto looked at him, and grimaced. "I tried this morning, but it's not working."

"Not working? Stupid, how's that possible."

Naruto shrugged. "I dunno. I guess since a medical nin was needed to activate the jutsu, one has to inactivate it as well?"

"Huh."

"Hey! Teme! You're laughing at me, aren't you!"

Sasuke smirked. "You're stuck as a girl."

"Yeah, so? I can still kick your ass!"

The other other Konoha ninjas escorting them home all began to roll their eyes. Where those two going to bicker for the whole trip?

When they returned to Konoha, the first thing Naruto did was to barge into Tsunade's office, demanding that she reverse the jutsu. Understandably, though, she was preoccupied with Kabuto's capture, and other things, and so didn't have time to devote to Naruto immediately. Finally she scheduled a meeting for him at the hospital in a few days's time.

**xoxoxoxoxo**

"Honestly, I don't know what's going on…" Hinata, who was working at the hospital, had been asked to give her opinon on Naruto's 'case'. She had activated her Byakugan, and given Naruto's body a careful going-over.

"Hmm.." said Tsunade. "Sakura, do you want give it a try?"

"Baba!" Naruto yelled. "Can't you just make this go away!" He lowered his voice. "No offense Sakura, Hinata, but I don't really want to be your guinea pig.

"Now, now," said Tsunade, warningly. "You want the problem fixed, don't you?"

"Um.. Tsunade-san.." Sakura was struck with an uncommon feeling of kindness for Naruto. 'That's ok, I think if Hinata's Byakugan can't find anything, there's no reason to think that I could either…"

"Hm… ok, fine… well, prepare to be impressed by my tremendous skill!" For a moment, Naruto thought Tsunade was going to strike him, and flinched. Instead, she just put her hands on his abdomen, and began to release tremendous chakra.

"Ooh! Wow!" Sakura and Hinata were very impressed. Sakura even clapped her hands together.

"There you go!" Said Tsunade. "Jutsu lifted."

"Uh? Tsunade-san.."

"Baba!"

"Hokage-sama.."

IT DIDN'T WORK!" Shrieked Naruto.

A few hours later, and even Tsunade was running out of ideas. "Tell you what," she told Naruto. "Go home. We'll figure this out eventually, I promise. In the meanwhile, being a girl's not that bad, right?"

Naruto was about to disagree, when he looked at the line of faces in front of him: Tsunade, Sakura, and Hinata. Any one of them, on their own, was scary enough.

"No," said Naruto, weakly. "Not that bad…"

**xoxoxoxoxo**

"Dobe."

"Ack! Sasuke, stop doing that!"

"Why are you still a girl?"

It was near dusk, Naruto having wasted the entire day at the Hokage's office, trying to get his jutsu (he was now starting to think of it as a 'curse') lifted. He had just been debating between going home (and eating cup ramen) or going to Ichiraku's (and eating restaurant ramen) when Sasuke had appeared beside him. "Do you really have to be so sneaky all the time?" Naruto gripped.

"Moron… this is a ninja village, remember? And I wasn't even being sneaky. You were just distracted. You're lucky I'm not an enemy nin…"

"Yeah, whatever… wanna go get ramen?"

Sasuke shrugged. "whatever." They turned towards Ichiraku. "Hey, you still haven't answered my question."

Naruto looked at Sasuke warily. The teme was definitely going to think this was hilarious… "Tsunade can't figure out how to fix it. For now."

Sasuke stared at Naruto. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah. You can start laughing now."

He couldn't help it. His mouth started turning up at the corners, to his trademark smirk, and then to something a little wider – a real smile. Naruto was so surprised that he momentarily forgot to be pissed off. Hey, he thought, Sasuke looks really hot like that… No! wait! Girl thoughts! Bad! He shook his head, as if, by shaking hard enough, he could make the weird ideas fall out of his head through his ears.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked, curiously. He brought his face closer to Naruto's, to examine him.

"Ugh! Nothing!" Naruto said. His life was already miserable enough as it was. It didn't need any more complications.

**xoxoxoxoxo**

The next morning, Naruto woke to the feeling of something warm, wet, and rather earthy-smelling, dripping it's way down his inner thigh. His first reaction was _to ignore it, go back to sleep_, and his second, on realizing what 'it' was, was to wake up in horror.

Oh my god… he mumbled, as he made his way to the bathroom… there it was. Contrary to popular belief, he was savvy enough to know what a period was. Probably the same thing that was now making his abdomen ache, so much so that, otherwise, he would have thought that the kyuubi was trying to escape.

Through some miracle – somehow, somewhere, somebody was still on his side – he managed to make it to a drug store, to buy some pads and some medicine, without running into anyone he knew along the way. Thank God team seven had the day off…

**xoxoxoxoxo**

Sasuke was waiting for him. Again.

"You're planning this, aren't you?" Naruto asked.

"Maybe, yeah."

"Why?"

"Isn't that obvious?"

"You're a horndog."

"So are you."

"So… let's do something about it?"

**xoxoxoxoxo**

It took Sakura almost a month from the time Naruto first tried out his modified sexy-no-jutsu before she realized that his being a girl was, in fact, a very bad thing.

The tip-off came one day when Kakashi asked team seven to meet for practice. She noticed that Naruto and Sasuke arrived together, but didn't think much of it. She didn't even think much of the red mark on Naruto's neck, until Kakashi started making jokes that were a little too pointed even for her to miss…

"A bee stung you, huh, Naruto?" The copy-nin teased. "Or was it a rash?"

Naruto rubbed his neck touchily. He looked annoyed, Sakura saw, but not embarrassed or even particularly concerned. Sasuke, on the other hand, was smirking.

God, she loved that smirk. Sometimes his arrogance could be so attractive… but, she realized, today Sasuke was smirking for a reason…

… she didn't much like.

Oh no, they couldn't be… she thought to herself, and then, with growing horror, _oh no_, they definitely are…

She remembered Ino-pig, a week or two after they had returned from the destroyed Sound village, making a crack, "now that Naruto's a girl, do you think he'll be competition?"

And Sakura, "No way, he looks hot, but a boy that's gotten turned into a girl is still definitely a freak."

But no… Sasuke… _Sasuke_... her mind frozen, her jaw dropped, Sakura numbly didn't notice that Kakashi and Naruto had become distracted from their arguing and were staring at her…

"Uh, Sakura-chan, are you all right?"

With effort, she struggled to restore her dignity. "Yes, Naruto, I'm _fine_."

But how could they be?

**xoxoxoxoxo**

She went out of her way to invite Naruto to dinner after practice. She definitely caught Sasuke glaring as they went off together. _Oh my god…_

"Naruto," she asked bravely, because she had to start out somewhere, "What are you and Sasuke doing?"

They had gone to Ichiraku, because that was where they always went, but for once Sakura had talked Naruto into sitting in the back instead of at the bar. She thought it was a little less conspicuous.

"What?" Naruto tried to play it dumb for a moment, and then gave up. "You were listening to Kakashi, huh?" He leaned back in his chair. "It's not like it's a big deal, because I'm not really a girl or anything."

"You're… uh… you didn't…" Her voice faded to a whisper, and then died away. Naruto was looking at her, confused. Recklessly, she summoned up her courage. "You aren't sleeping together…"

Naruto coughed so hard that he almost spit out his mouthful of ramen. "Gross, Sakura, no!"

She sighed with relief.

"We were just, you know, fooling around a little."

It was her turn almost to spit.

"You're _what_?"  
Naruto shifted uncomfortable. "Like I said, it's not a big deal. I'm not really a girl… We're not in a relationship, or anything." He shuddered in an overly-dramatic way at the thought.

Sakura sat, almost frozen to her chair. A range of emotions flooded through her – white-hot anger, confusion. What the hell was Sasuke thinking? Naruto was an idiot, but Sasuke? Why would he do such a thing with Naruto, but not with…

"Don't worry about it," said Naruto. "It's because I'm not a real girl that we're doing it. Sasuke wouldn't fool around with a real girl!"

That probably hadn't come out exactly the way he meant it.

"I mean, if there was a girl he liked, we would stop. And he would treat her really well."

She tried to think, and, miraculously, the bits of thoughts that had been thrown up, into confusion, began to settle back into a distinguishable pattern. So it was what she had thought, after all. All morning, during practice, she had been thinking about how to address this.

"Ne, Naruto," she said, softly. "You know I'm your friend, right?"

Naruto looked at her, surprised. "Yes, I know, Sakura."

She paused. "And you know… I wouldn't say anything unless I thought… I should really say something."

"Ok." He frowned. "What is it?"

"You and Sasuke really shouldn't be doing this."

He gazed at her steadily. His blue eyes looked murky, for once, and she saw that he was confused.

"It may not be a big deal for you, like you said, but do you think it's fair to Sasuke? He needs to meet a real girl, you know, one day. You guys are best friends, so he may be comfortable with you, but… _you aren't a real girl_. Do you see what I'm saying?"

Naruto shook his head.

"As long as you guys are together, don't you think Sasuke will be less likely to look for a real relationship? And I think…" she sighed, and momentarily felt almost proud with her own acting. "he needs that."

Naruto stopped shaking his head and nodded. "Let me think about it, Sakura," He said.

"No, on second thought, you're right. I didn't really think about thing that way before. You're right, we better stop."

Sakura smiled. "Thanks, Naruto, for not getting mad at me."

"No, thanks for saying so. I'm glad you felt like you could be honest with me."

They finished their ramen in uncharacteristic chatter. Usually, Sakura found it irksome to follow Naruto's rambling conversation, but today she felt she owed it to him. "Damn," Naruto said, as she slurped up the last of his noodles. "I kind of don't know how to tell Sasuke, though."

Sakura frowned. "Just tell him you're not into him."

Naruto blushed faintly. "I don't think he'd buy it."

She paused. "Just tell him you thought it was weird, because you're both guys. Don't tell him the truth, because…"

"Yeah," Naruto said. "I sort of get it. Good night, Sakura-chan."

She watched his form as he walked out of the restaurant. His hips swayed ever so slightly as he walked, when he squeezed past a man sitting at the bar she say how his breasts just barely touched the man's back, and the man shivered. He's not a girl, though, she thought to herself, stubbornly. And I don't want Sasuke ending up with him. _Anyone else, but not Naruto…_

**xoxoxoxoxo**

He turned away from Ichiraku towards the Uchiha quarter, and then, after a moment of deliberation, turned away and walked back towards his apartment instead. Going to Sasuke's place was too dangerous, it was better to 'break up' in the morning, before training or something, when the teme couldn't argue.

But when he neared his building, he saw a faint shadow on the roof, looking down at him. Sasuke. Naruto sighed. What had he been thinking, any way? He had been a teenaged boy himself long enough to know that guys had libidos.

He stayed down on the street, put his hands on his hips, and looked up. "We should talk." He said.

Gracefully Sasuke jumped down to stand next to him. "Talk?" He said, suggestively, leaning in towards Naruto.

Firmly Naruto used his hand to push Sasuke back. "Just talk. From now on. No more of," he gestured vaguely, "this."

Sasuke looked surprised, and then his eyes flashed. "Let's go inside," he said.

Naruto nodded. "Fine."

He flicked the light on as opened the front door. Sasuke followed him in and flopped on his couch. Naruto sat down, across from him.

"So?" Sasuke said. "What is this?"

"I thought about it – the… uh.. fooling around. It's not really a good idea. So I think we oughtta stop."

"Why?"

Naruto frowned, and looked at the floor. "It's kind of creepy. I'm really a guy, and you're a guy, and one of these days I'm gonna go back to being a guy. I don't want to have to get therapy for the next fifty years."

"You didn't seem worried about that the other day." Sasuke said, flatly.

"Yeah?" Naruto shot back, "well, I thought about it again. It's not a big deal, yeah, but it's not really good for us." Without thinking about it, he clasped his hand over his mouth. But Sasuke had already picked up on his comment.

"What do you mean? Hm? What do you mean, dobe?"

Frowning, Naruto repeated Sakura's argument from earlier that evening, leaving about the part about Sakura being the one to give it to him.

"That's ridiculous," Sasuke said, flatly. "If I meet a girl, I'll let you know. In the meanwhile, it's not an issue."

"No, it is," Naruto insisted. "Just the fact that we're… you know… might make you less interested, you know, in looking for a real girl. Guys are horny for a reason, you know? Maybe there shouldn't be a… uh… easy fix."

Sasuke looked at him. On the surface expressionless, inside he was breathlessly reformulating what he wanted to say. "Well, as far as I know," he said, eventually, casually, "I don't think that's been the case at all. As far as I can tell, all we've been doing has been getting me worked up, and since we never go all the way there's no relief. That ought to just be making me more frustrated."

"Well_, excuse me_," Naruto snapped. "So making out has been a big chore for you, huh?"

Sasuke smirked. "I wouldn't say that. But I would say, if you wanna stop doing this, you should at least let me do everything first."

Naruto made a face. "No. Ugh."

"What's the big deal?" Sasuke said. "You said yourself, it's not really your body, you don't mind seeing what stuff feels like."

"Yeah, but that's… a little…"

"What?" Sasuke teased, lightly. "Are you scared?"

Naruto snorted. "Don't be stupid."

"Oh, are you acting like a real girl, now? Protecting your maidenhood?"

Naruto snorted again.

"So, I think that's fair. You think us making out is bad for me, I think it's fine – and I ought to know better what's best for me, anyway. But, if you think we should stop, at least let me put it in. Once."

He watched Naruto's eyes. They really were windows to the soul, Sasuke had realized, and by watching them he could tell when Naruto's resolution was strong, when he was hurt but trying not to show it, and when – like now – he had gotten twisted up in a mess of tangled arguments and didn't know quite what answers were correct. Sasuke knew from experience that Naruto wasn't a thinker. His response to mental confusion was usually to make a snap judgement: whatever seemed easiest.

"Fine," the blond snapped. "Fine, we can fuck. Just don't blame me if it's totally awkward later."

Sasuke had already started moving, before Naruto finished his sentence, he was on his feet, pulling Naruto up from his chair, pushing him back against the wall. He started kissing him and felt Naruto's body relax a little, begin to lean into him.

"I don't know why," he muttered, in between kisses, "you think I would ever be _awkward…_"

**xoxoxoxoxo**

In the morning, light streamed through Naruto's bedroom window, and Sasuke woke a moment before the blond, sleepily shaking his head for a moment before he figured out what time it was, where he was, and why. Naruto was still sprawled on the bed next to him, and a quick look under the sheets assured Sasuke that the boy/girl was still naked. Naruto, feeling Sasuke begin to move, opened one eye, lazily, and then began a magnificent stretch that made Sasuke remember all sorts of things from the night before. Casually he reached down and, pushing back the sheet, grabbed Naruto's breast. He rubbed it gently with his thumb.

"Hey, stop that," Naruto said. "No more funny business." His voice was thick from sleep.

Sasuke didn't reply, but bent his head down, and bit Naruto's nipple, so lightly that it was barely anything, but he heard the blond gasp. Smoothly he pushed his hand down, between Naruto's legs.

"You're already getting wet," he said, with satisfaction.

Naruto tried to glare. "Whose fault is that, just now?"

"Well, we might as well take care of it, before I go…" From lying together side by side, Sasuke rolled himself on top of Naruto, and positioned himself between the blond's legs.

"Horndog," Naruto muttered.

"You're pretty in the morning," Sasuke teased, and began to move over the blond.

**xoxoxoxoxo**

Sakura waited under the tree where team 7 was set to meet in another half an hour. She was early, but she had found that she liked the site, as it was a busy place in the village. Many people passed back and forth under the broad leafy branches of the elm, and she enjoyed chatting and catching up on the village gossip as they ran into her. Plus, there was always the chance that Sasuke would arrive a little early…

With that thought, a soft thump alerted her to the fact that the young jounin had, in fact, arrived. Smiling brightly, she turned to face him, and saw-

-a glare, so much fiercer than the one Sasuke almost always wore that even Sakura couldn't really write it off.

"Sasuke-kun… she began, hesitantly. "You're early too…"

"You." Sasuke said, short and angry. "You are one meddling bitch, aren't you?"

"I don't know what you mean, Sasuke-ku.."

"Listen. You do not want to make an enemy of me. You get it? Naruto."

Sakura quaked, and tried to think fast. "It wasn't me."

"Oh yeah it was. No way Naruto thought of all the psychobabble he started talking last night on his own, and you're the obvious candidate." He started.

Sakura shook. So he knew. All that time, she thought that she'd really given up on Sasuke – in fact, she had never believed he would come back, and had thought she could move on to Lee freely, keeping Sasuke as just a memory in her heart. And then he had come back, and… proximity brought all the old feelings back, even against her will, and even her better judgment. So Sasuke had understood all those hints he'd seemed to ignore, all the little looks she hadn't been able to help but give him.

Still, she could try and protect what little bit of pride she had left. "I gave Naruto one argument, but I'll tell you the truth. It's not good for him, Uchiha." She used his family name deliberately.

"Bullshit. You can't manipulate me the way you do him. You," he spat out the words, "Don't want either of us to be happy. Naruto pining for you, and you pining for me, and me pining for him. You'd rather we go back to that same old triangle forever, wouldn't you? I'll tell you a secret," he leaned in, close to her, and she couldn't help shivering. "I've liked him for a long time. A long time," he drew the words out. "And I've finally seen my chance. So kunoichi who don't know how to mind their own business better learn. Fast."

Sakura barely managed to croak out a question. "How long?"

Sasuke moved back a step, and smirked at her. "You could say I'm bi, I guess. I've wanted Naruto from way before he became a girl. But him as a girl is fine too. I don't care what gender he is, as long as it's Naruto."

"But you guys… have just been playing around, he said."

He looked annoyed. "He may think that way. But I'm trying to get him used to the idea of a relationship with me. Naruto is… skittish. That is just the first step."

She would have been pissed off if she wasn't so scared. "Sasuke…" she muttered. "You're not normal, are you..."

He smirked again. "Oh, you just now noticed?" He turned away, and then looked back. "Don't think of telling him anything about this conversation, by the way." Quickly he activated his Sharingan, and flashed his eyes at her. "Ok?" He asked, almost sweetly.

"Deal…" Sakura whispered, defeated.


	8. Part II: Chapter 7

_Thanx to everyone who reviewed last chapter, I deeply appreciate it! I think I'm more than half way done with this story! Yay! _

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Despite his best efforts, though, Sasuke found he couldn't sweet-talk Naruto back into bed. Or even into just hanging out alone together. Because of Sakura's meddling, the blonde had gotten into his cute, thick little head that they shouldn't be together, and Naruto had – everybody knew this – a will of iron, once his decision was made.

The day after they had had sex – aside from his little aside to Sakura – both had pretended everything was normal. Sasuke had – irrationally, he thought – hoped that, somehow, people would be able to tell that something had changed between the two of them – as if people would be able to sense that they had been together – but, surprisingly, Naruto played it so cool that even Kakashi seemed oblivious. They had broken to go home in the afternoon, and Sasuke had made to follow Naruto. Naruto had let them get halfway to his house, putting space between them and the other members of team seven, before stopping and turning, hands on hips.

_He looks hot like that_, had been Sasuke's first thought, watching Naruto's slight, girly figure trying to imitate fierce body language. Girls have a hard time, he thought, idly. Even when they're trying to show that they're angry, it ends up being seen as cute or sexy.

"Where are you going?" Naruto stated, plainly.

Sasuke shrugged, and Naruto narrowed his eyes. "Your house is that way." He pointed.

Sasuke felt, later on, that he should have swallowed his pride, but at the time it had been easier to snap at Naruto. "Fine, I'll go home!"

"Good." Said Naruto. He waited until Sasuke's back disappeared down the street, towards the Uchiha quarter, before continuing on himself. Instead of going to his apartment, though, he found himself going to Iruka's instead.

The teacher was surprised to see the boy on his doorstep, for no particular reason. It occurred to him, for an embarrassing moment, that his neighbors would not know that Naruto was really a boy and would think that Iruka was being visited by a female student, well into the evening.

"Come in, come in," he said, hurriedly.

"Thanks," Naruto said. "Iruka-sensei, can I sleep here for a night or two?"

"Sure… but why?"

Naruto shrugged. Iruka knew to interpret as Naruto not wanting to say. "No particular reason."

It was just a precaution, really. So that if Sasuke showed up at his apartment, late in the evening, no one would be home.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

There were no big missions in the works, at the moment, and so team seven was in their peacetime routine of meeting by the bridge every morning, hearing what small missions they had to do, and training or fooling around when there was none. Sakura was trying to make up with Sasuke over what she had mentally termed their 'misunderstanding' – as if by renaming the thing she could redefine it in actuality, as well. Sasuke would not forgive her, at least as long as Naruto was ignoring _him_. Naruto yipped at even the slightest amount of physical contact from Sasuke and spent most of his time with Sai, since Sakura seemed to be ignoring him. Kakashi tried to see the antics of his students amusing but mostly just found himself feeling tired. Damn, he thought. I'm getting too old for this.

"Let's pair off," he announced. "Sakura – Sai… Naruto and Sasuke."

"Who are you going to train with?" Sai asked.

"I read."

Naruto pouted. "Teach us some cool jutsu or something! What are you here for, anyway?"

Kakashi sighed. "At this point, Naruto-kun, I'm your leader because of tactical experience only. Do you think there are really any jutsus I've been holding back from you?"

"Yeah!" Naruto said, loudly.

Sakura nodded. "You've always kept a few things up your sleeve, sensei."

Kakashi grunted. "Ok, fine. To whoever wins from each pair, I will teach one super-cool jutsu. Now scram."

The two teams gave each other a bit of distance. Sakura and Sai were fairly evenly matched, since Sakura's training with Tsunade had been progressing rapidly – though it was also possible Sai was going just a tiny bit easy on her. Likewise, Kakashi figured that Naruto and Sasuke were more or less equal in strength. It was a little bit hard to tell, since Naruto tended not to pull out his best moves until he was in the middle of a real fight (some of his best moves still involved massive amounts of kyuubi-chakra, which he couldn't call upon safely in normal circumstances). Kakashi was also fairly certain that Sasuke had learned at least one or two tricks from Orochimaru that he was still continuing to keep hidden.

Naruto was still having issues with being stuck in girl form, though. Kakashi could tell that, as he watched the two spar – first of all, Naruto kept moving in a way that was out of sync with his center of gravity – the advantage of a kunoichi, if there was one, was speed and flexibility, but Naruto was a fighter who naturally depended on power, brute force, and massive amounts of stamina.

Oh, and something was going on between them, as well – those two. Kakashi remembered weeks ago when Naruto had shown up with hickeys. He had been certain those were from Sasuke. A little friendly rivalry getting confused by the long-term gender switch? Anyway, after that point, they had seemed to cool off, which he thought was for the best.

"Dobe," Sasuke said. "Let's use taijutsu only."

Naruto glared. "Why?"

He shrugged. "I need to practice."

"I'll kick yer ass."

"Yeah, whatever. No jutsus, ok?"

Naruto paused. "Kakashi promised to teach the winner a jutsu. I wanna go all out."

"What, because you know you can't beat me with just taijutsu?" Sasuke sneered. "You can't beat me regardless, so don't worry about it."

"Argh!" The blonde snorted, and rushed him. Just for the sake of precaution – it was Naruto, after all – Sasuke activated his sharingan, and then slid out of the way.

Naruto attacked again, Sasuke deflected. He made an easy punch towards Naruto's left side, which the boy blocked, and Sasuke used the opportunity to move in closer. He wanted this fight to end with him sitting on top of Naruto. Or with Naruto backed up against a tree. All he had to do was figure out how to move things along until they reached…

"Naruto!"

Sasuke almost cursed. Kakashi was calling to them. A genin – Konohamaru – was standing beside him. "Tsunade-sama is calling for you," the genin said. "She's got some idea about reversing your jutsu. She said for you to come immediately."

Naruto whooped. "Great! Sasuke, did you hear that?"

"Great." Sasuke said, dryly.

"Let's go!" Naruto and Konohamaru headed off in the direction of the Hokage's office. Sasuke was left standing beside Kakashi. He was sweaty, unsatisfied, and trying desperately to compute what having Naruto back as a boy again was going to do to all his carefully laid plans and how much more time it might take too…"

"You looked worked up about something," Kakashi said, dryly.

Sasuke glared at him.

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"This should be easy," Tsunade said. "After I couldn't change you back before, I sent for scrolls from the Water Country – the nins there invented the technique in the first place – and one of the premier medical-nins there sent me all she could find on the subject. She was very interested in your case – I had to hint that you were a carrier of something, though of course I didn't tell her what – and she said our difficulties might have been related to the gender of the kyuubi." She twirled her pen around it one hand, which Naruto had learned to interpret as a sign of great interest on her part. She had ushered him into her office and closed the door hastily, saying that she thought it might be better for them to discuss events in private. "I looked at all the Konoha scrolls, and there's no evidence the Kyuubi even has a gender."

"It's a female," Naruto said. "Probably." Rudely, he propped his feet up on Tsunade's desk. It was a sign of Tsunade's excitement that she didn't bother to yell at him for this.

"Really?" Tsunade's pen stopped spinning and she jotted down a note. "Why do you say so?"

Naruto shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I have dreams, sometimes, about things like… the Kyuubi killing things and bringing them home for her kits to eat. Stuff like that."

"Hm." Tsunade wrote something else down. "So, what Shizuka – my collegue – told me, is that your body is essentially more 'at harmony' with the kyuubi's when your genders are aligned. Does that make sense?"

"Not really."

She sketched a quick diagram, and then turned her scroll to show it to him. "Imagine that your body is normally using… this much energy... to hold the Kyuubi in."

"Ok," Naruto said, dubiously.

"If you became a girl, it would only have to use… this much. Less. You see? By an order of magnitude."

"Ok."

"So, basically, it's less work for your body to be female. It's sort of… a more energy-efficient resting state. We didn't account for this before. In order to get you back to being a boy, we have to give you a boost of chakra – not the Kyuubi's, because this'll fight against you – like this – to get you over the hump. Like this." She drew a little arc connecting the 'lower energy' body resting state to the higher one. "Activation energy."

"Uh… Tsunade-baba…"

"Don't call me that, I'm going to help you."

"Fine." Naruto said. "Tsunade_-sama_, I have no idea what you're talking about."

She leaned over the desk, and ruffled his hair affectionately. "Just repeat after me… 'Tsunade-sama, you're a _genius_… take your shirt off."

"What?" Nervously, Naruto wrapped his arms around his chest.

"Don't be such a girl… " Tsunade teased.

Naruto growled, but obeyed. The seal that held in the kyuubi lightly ringed his belly button, and Tsunade traced it carefully with her finger. "Ok. The first thing is, to locate the exact center of the chakra in your body…" She paused. "This is rather odd."

"What?" Naruto said.

"Umm… there should be… two centers of chakra, essentially… not really centers, because the chakra is diffused throughout your body, like blood… but what you could call hearts. Two chakra hearts. Yours, and the Kyuubi's. The Kyuubi's is effectively caged within your own."

"Ok…"

"But in fact there are three. Two here," she pointed to Naruto's left breast "that is your own, and I can feel the kyuubi's, faintly, locked within it. There is also one… " her finger moved down, to a point below Naruto's belly. "Here."

"There?" Naruto looked blank.

"If you were a girl, I'd say…" Tsunade looked up at him, recognition dawning in her eyes. "But of course, you are a girl." She sat back down in her chair, and almost laughed. "Naruto, have you been having sex?"

Naruto looked surprised. "Sex?"

"You know, like," she made a rude gesture. "With a boy, I mean."

It was amusing to watch his face turn white, and then, suddenly, beet red. "Why are you asking me that?"

"Just believe me, I need to know. In order to solve your problem."

Naruto looked at her, trying to judge her seriousness. Then he glanced away. "Maybe once." He said.

"Just once?"

"Ok, fine! Twice! But that was it, just that time, I swear!"

Tsunade tried to keep her face straight. No point in upsetting Naruto by giggling. She began slipping into her 'doctor voice', which usually worked well when trying to get people to admit to embarrassing information. "So that would be… twice, in one night?"

"Yeah."

"Ok. When was that?

"About…" Naruto wrinked his nose, trying to remember. "A month ago. A while after we returned from Sound."

"Say six weeks, then. Right… Naruto, for the important part – who were having sex with?"

Naruto gave her a dirty look. "Do you really need to know this in order to change me back into a guy?"

Tsunade nodded solemnly. "I promise."

"All right… fine, then…" he muttered. His voice fell to a whisper. "with ..."

"Sorry, Tsunade said, helpfully. "I didn't quite get that. Can you speak a little louder?"

"With Sasuke." Naruto blurted. "Geez."

"Ok," Tsunade said, trying not to sound surprised. Though she guessed Sasuke made more sense than... any of the other possible candidates she might think of. All the while she had been talking she had continued lightly touching his abdomen, checking vital signs and chakra signals as best she could. Now she stood up. "You need to give me a blood sample and a urine sample."

"What?" Naruto said. "Why?"

She rolled her eyes. "You haven't figured it our yet?"  
"You're turning me back into a guy, right?"

"Right." Tsunade nodded reassuringly. "I'm turning you back into a guy."

"Great!" Naruto punched the air with his fist.

"We can go through with the jutsu in about… a year? Or a year and a half."

"A year and a half?" Naruto goggled at her. 'Why the hell do we have to wait that long?"

Tsunade smiled. "Nine months. Then, if you want to breastfeed… which I recommend, for as long as you are willing… many kunoichis don't like too, of course… we can change you back after that."

Naruto was looking at her as if she was on crack. Tsunade sighed. She had been hoping to get a big reaction out of him, but this approach seemed to have gone right over his head.

"Congratulations, Naruto," she said. "You're pregnant."

She waited. And waited. Checked her watch. Waited a tiny bit more.

"I'm WHAT?"

She smiled. "You and Sasuke are going to be parents."

There was another long pause.

"This means I can't be a guy again?"

Sometimes that boy was just so thick…

Tsunade sent Naruto to get samples taken, and then she asked Konohamaru to go and find Kakashi. "Tell him, 'no games'," she said, rubbing her brow.

Thankfully, the copy-nin had appeared in front of her within fifteen minutes. She looked at him balefully.

"Hatake Kakashi?"

He looked a little worried, she thought, though it was hard to tell with that mask. Serves him right, she thought, meanly.

"This is on a need-to-know basis."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Your student is pregnant."

Kakashi stood for a long moment. _Got him_, Tsunade thought. "Sakura?"

"Try another student."

"Naruto." He said, weakly.

"Bingo. I told him he needed to let people know – at his own pace… but he seems a little shell-shocked at the moment. So I want you to take him home."

Kakashi nodded, stiffly. Nothing to get the cool guy flustered, Tsunade thought, then forcing him to deal with female anatomy. _Well, in this case, it was really justified…_

"Normally, I expect my team leaders be to aware of what's going on within their group, but I couldn't really expect anyone to see this coming. Maybe send him to Iruka's for a few days. I hear he stays there now and then."

Kakashi nodded, and, with Tsunade's dismissal, disappeared.

Kakashi met Naruto as he left the hospital examining room. Naruto took one look at his sensei's face – and, even half-masked, he could tell.

"She told you, didn't she?"

Wordless, Kakashi nodded.

"Oh man," Naruto grumbled. "This sucks."

Outside the hospital, Sakura, Sasuke, and Sai were waiting. Sai had even painted a big, sign (Congratulations on being a GUY again! – which was the corrected version, since what he had originally written was 'Congratulations on getting your DICK back!,', but Sakura had made him change it).

"Wait," said Sai. "You're still a girl."

"Tell me about it," Grumbled Naruto. Maybe I can go away for a while, he thought to himself. Go away for a long trip. And when I come back, I can pretend I found the baby among the bulrushes and… oh crap.

"I'm taking Naruto to Iruka's school," Kakashi announced. "Training is over for the day. Understood?"

"Yes…"

Kakashi paused. "Sasuke, why don't you accompany us?"

Before Sasuke could answer, Naruto broke in. "No, that' s really.. uh… fine, Kakashi-sensei."

They walked towards the school in silence, and then waited by the schoolyard for Iruka to finish his afternoon classes.

"May I take it," Kakashi asked, "that you and Sasuke aren't on very good terms at the moment?"

"We kind of…had a falling out."

"Ah. Oh, look, there's Iruka!" Kakashi waved, and Iruka came jogging over. "Kakashi-sensei, Naruto, how are you?"

Kakashi looked stiff. "Iruka-sensei, this mission has been entrusted to you by the Hokage. Naruto has managed to get him.. er.. herself pregnant. Please look after her for a few days."

"I'm sorry, what?" Asked Iruka, very politely.

"You heard me," Kakashi said. "Naruto, as of now you are on medical leave." He looked wryly at Iruka. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I need to buy a few materials for tomorrow's mission."

In a swirl of leaves, Kakashi disappeared. Iruka was left behind, staring at Naruto.

"Was he serious?" He finally asked.

Naruto shrugged. "I guess so. Tsunade-baba thinks I'm pregnant, though I'm not sure I believe her."

"Oh, Naruto…" Iruka sighed. "What were you thinking?"

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

The day after, Sakura, Sai, and Sasuke arrived at the bridge to be told curtly by Kakashi that Naruto was on medical leave.

"So for now it'll just be us four," Kakashi said, cheerfully. "Team S! Hmm.. since my name doesn't start with S maybe I'll have to let someone else take charge for a while… Saito? What Jounin do you know who have names starting with S?"

"That's ok," Sai informed him, cheerfully. "You can be an honorary S-team member."

"Why thank you," Kakashi beamed.

"Um… Sensei…"

"That's it! Sensei starts with S! So I guess I'm still ok… or…" His voice lowered conspiratorially, "You could always call me _shisho_…"

Sasuke cleared his throat, and finally Sakura got a chance to finish her thought. "Sensei, what about Naruto? Is he all right? Why is he on medical leave? Is it something to do with how he can't turn back into a guy?"

Kakashi looked at them all seriously. "Naruto's medical problem is of a personal nature, and I have been instructed by the Hokage that he should be the one to inform you about it, if and when he feels comfortable doing so. In the meanwhile, let's move on to today's lesson."

He pulled, from nowhere, a string of foil-wrapped condom packages, and a banana.

"Sasuke-kun," Kakashi said, sweetly. "Would you care to demonstrate?"


	9. Part II: Chapter 8

_Thank you to all who reviewed the last chapter! Sorry to say that I am pretty busy right now, which means that the pace of updates is going to stay slow for a while. _

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

"I'd like to talk with Naruto, please."

Iruka looked doubtfully at the Uchiha who stood on his doorstep. He had never admitted it to anyone, but even back when Sasuke had been under his care as a teacher, the boy had made him just a little bit nervous (how many eleven-year olds out there do everything perfectly? Never smile? Sit and glower in the back of the classroom?).

Now, at eighteen, Sasuke was taller than Iruka by a good three inches, and gave off the aura of a man who had killed one of the world's most dangerous S-class criminals before being, in some countries, legally able to drink.

It was only made freakier by the fact that he was asking to see Naruto so politely.

Iruka shook his head quickly, trying to pull himself together. "Sorry, Sasuke-kun. Naruto said no visitors."

Sasuke produced a piece of paper. "This is from the Hokage. She said Naruto has to see me."

Iruka took the paper gingerly and looked it over. "Ok," he said. "Come in. I'll go find him."

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

Naruto was out behind the house training. Iruka watched as he worked his way through a series of elegant, slow movements – all the more difficult because of how much concentration had to be focused into them, although only a fighter would be able to recognize such a thing.

_At least he's keeping to the Hokage's order of light exercise, with no chakra… _Iruka thought._ Even though he claims he can't possibly be pregnant._

"Naruto!" He called. "Come inside! I've made tea!"

Naruto nodded. He picked up his towel from where he had thrown it over a tree limb previously, and wiped the sweat from his eyes.

"Sasuke!" He said, as he entered the living room. He scowled. "Iruka, you didn't tell me he was here."

Iruka smiled apologetically. "Show him the letter, Sasuke, or he'll bolt."

Sasuke handed the missive to Naruto, standing impassively while the blonde read it.

"Ok," Naruto said, finally, throwing himself down on the couch. "This is too stupid. Sasuke, what do you want to talk about?"

Sasuke cleared his throat. He looked meaningfully at Iruka, hoping to send the teacher the message that he would like some privacy. But Iruka simply stared back, until Naruto said. 'It's ok."

"Alright," the teacher said. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything."

The two boys sat opposite each other in the living room, waiting.

Sasuke sighed. "Naruto, why did Kakashi make us study sex-ed today?"

"What?"

"He made us practice putting condoms on a banana," Sasuke said, through gritted teeth. "Sai had to do it three times. Sakura did it twice, even though she was excused from the assignment-" Sasuke recalled briefly the horrifying scene – Sakura had claimed that it was important for modern girls to know about contraception and how to negotiate its usage in a relationship – then proved she didn't need the training anyway, by performing the activity using only her teeth. Sasuke was pretty sure she had been watching him while she did it, trying to gauge his reaction: maybe trying to be flirty. "On the other hand, Kakashi made _me_ practice it until we ran out of condoms. Any idea why, Naruto? He told me to go and ask you why." Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Do you have anything you want to tell me?"

Naruto flopped over on the couch. He dragged his hand along the carpet. "Not particularly," he said.

"Did you read the Hokage's letter?"

"Yeah… but listen, Sasuke, it's totally messed up."

"What is?"

Naruto rolled his eyes as he sat back up on the couch properly. "Now, don't freak out," he said.

Sasuke waited.

"So, the old bag says she can't turn me back into a guy because she thinks I might be pregnant."

Sasuke gaped.

"Hold on," Naruto said, holding up a hand. "I'm definitely not, though – I just have to wait around long enough for her to realize that she's made a mistake. I think this is her excuse for not being able to turn me back into a g…"

"You're pregnant?"

"No, you're not listening."

"There's no way the best medical-ninja in the world would misdiagnose a pregnancy, Naruto."

"Yeah?" Naruto snapped. "Well, she misdiagnosed this one."

Sasuke felt like he was about to fall out of his chair. He was a ninja, damn it! A ninja with a great sense of balance! Ninja like him didn't fall out of chairs!

With effort, he pulled himself together slightly. "Is it mine?" He asked, bluntly.

"No, you moron, because I'm. Not. Pregnant."

Sasuke paused to reformulate the question. "Ok. Fine. How far along does the Hokage mistakenly think that you are?"

Naruto folded his arms across his chest. "About a month."

"Ok… now, one month ago, did we or did we not have sex?"

Naruto blushed. "I guess we did."

"Ok." Sasuke said, painstakingly slowly_. Oh God_, he thought, _my child is going to have a retard for a mother_. "Now, Naruto – this is the crucial question. Have you ever had sex with any one other than me?"

"No! Geez! What do you take me for?"

"Right. So, if you were pregnant, and the Hokage hadn't made a mistake…" Sasuke let the question hang.

"It would be yours. Teme." Naruto looked furious. "I can't believe you're even asking me this."

"We should get married."

"WHAT? NO! Are you a fucking moron?"  
Sasuke shook his head. "I mean, you're having my kid."

"Thank you, Uchiha-sama, for that fascinating analysis of the situation," Naruto drawled. "I can't believe that you're acting as crazy as the rest of them."

"Why is that so crazy?"

"Because. I. Am. Not. Pregnant. And, even if I were, I am not a fucking girl!"  
Sasuke shrugged. "Guys can get married in Konoha too, you know. To each other."

Naruto stood up, looked around frantically, and then sat down. "That's besides the point! I don't want to marry another guy! I don't want to get married, period! I want my own body back and then I want my regular life back! Do you get it?" He was starting to raise his voice, and Sasuke found himself arguing back.

"Well, dobe, you can't freaking have it back, can you? Cause we're going to have a kid now! You've gotta… we've gotta be parents, or something!"

Naruto looked ready to punch him, and then, with a gasp, he sat back down, hard, on the couch. Sasuke saw tears leaking down the blonde's cheeks.

"I know!" Naruto shouted "I know, I know, I know, ok?"

"Ok," Sasuke said. He felt totally confused about what to do, so he shifted over to sit beside Naruto. He tried to touch his shoulder and Naruto startled back so violently that Sasuke put his hands firmly on his lap.

They were still like that; twenty minutes later, when Iruka crept cautiously back into the room with a tray of tea. They drank together in strained silence. Iruka looked back and forth between the faces of the two boys, Naruto's tear-streaked and Sasuke's looking expressionless as always – though perhaps just a little shell-shocked. If Sasuke's hurt him, Iruka thought passionately, I don't care if he is the last Uchiha, I'll rip him limb from limb and…

Sasuke, feeling Iruka's angry glare focused on him, responded by looking steadily at the teacher, trying to reassure him. It's good that Naruto has Iruka, he was thinking –

"Hey, Naruto," he said. "Let's go for a walk."

"What?"

"Come on." He stood up and took Naruto's hand, pulling him to his feet. "You'll feel better if we walk around for a while."

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

They passed the cedar trees that were planted around the back of Iruka's property and walked over a small bridge that linked the quiet residential quarter where the teacher lived to the outskirts of the forest where most of the training fields were located.

Sasuke looked up at the sky. It was a perfect blue day, warm but not overly hot, and the colors of the plants stood out in stark relief, as if they were brighter than usual. He glanced at Naruto, stumbling along next to him, his face still puffy from crying but beginning to look calmer.

The whole thing was a shock, to be sure – but was it wrong to be just a little bit happy? Even when Naruto was feeling so miserable? After all, here was the boy he had been in love with for such a long time, who he'd tried to give up on and failed to give up on every night for three years in Sound, who he had just thought might be irretrievably getting farther away from him – and now he was saying that he was pregnant, that they were going to have a family, and surely this was a thing that bound them together so tightly that the blond would never be able to escape from him again –

It was as if those childhood goals he had made for himself were once more becoming a real possibility, like the stars were shifting back into alignment. Hadn't he wanted to rebuild his clan? He'd given up on that when he'd realized that he was gay- given up on it a second time, in his heart, when he realized that he loved Naruto. Now he could rebuild his clan and -

Wait a minute. Sasuke stopped dead in his tracks. Naruto, who had been walking a step or two behind, saw the change in his body language and began to feel afraid almost without thinking. Whenever Sasuke began to look so angry and so withdrawn, there was only one possible reason.

"What is it?" He asked, coming around to stand in front of Sasuke.

Sasuke only looked at him. He wouldn't answer, although both knew what he was thinking. Itachi.

_He isn't dead yet_. And he always swore he would destroy the clan. Sasuke looked at Naruto, suddenly fearful. My baby. And wouldn't Itachi come and destroy it?

He didn't know where Itachi was hiding. For months before the destruction of Sound he had been searching, and at that time he had had the use of Orochimaru's spies and information gathering systems at his full disposal as well. Sound's network had been as developed as Konoha's, if not more – Orochimaru had been mistrustful of everyone and everything, and had relied as much on superior information as on fear to keep his troops in line and his activities running smoothly.

He had tried to get more information out of Kabuto on their last mission: several times, in fact, before he had killed him. But Kabuto had been wary of Sasuke betraying the New Sound – betraying him by running away again, leaving them without a leader – and so he had meted out little bits of rumor, slowly, trying to whet Sasuke's interest and drag him along. Sasuke had been fairly certain that what Kabuto knew was limited, in any case – he had said that Itachi was in hiding far to the East – that all of Akatsuki was dormant after their failure to capture the nine bijuu, and that he believed they were biding their time as they rebuilt their energy.

Kabuto had mentioned one other thing that had caught Sasuke's attention- that messengers from Akatsuki had visited Kabuto a year prior, before Sound had yet been destroyed, and that they had been the ones to suggest to him a potion that would grant the user Sharingan, and to give Kabuto the necessary knowledge with which to begin his research.

This had struck Sasuke as extremely improbable, since he knew that a good part of the Sharigan's value lay in the scarceness of it. An organization - like Akatsuki, or Konoha, now – that had an Uchiha member, held a great advantage over those that didn't. Therefore, it made no sense for such an organization to go looking for technology that would make the bloodline limit more accessible.

Sasuke tried to think. He could go on a journey, hunt Itachi down and kill him, once and for all. Or he could stay close to Konoha and protect Naruto, who would be weak because of the pregnancy, and who might be targeted now that he held the Uchiha heir.

Or he could stay near Naruto and wait, knowing that Itachi was likely to come.

He smiled softly. Naruto saw the expression and shuddered.

Naruto will never be safe anyway unless Itachi is dead. Better to take advantage of this opportunity…

And started, ever so slightly, when Naruto touched his sleeve.

"Sasuke," he said. "Don't worry about him. Don't think about Itachi, ok?"

Sasuke looked at the blonde and wondered, for once, how someone who knew him so well could sometimes understand so little. To tell Sasuke not to think about Itachi was like telling the moon not to follow the sun, to stop chasing its arc through the sky every evening.

"Sorry," he told Naruto, and smiled, trying to look reassuring.

Naruto knew that the smile was fake, and he didn't answer.

They walked in silence to the northern edge of the training fields, and then they turned, walking towards the northwest gate of the village.

When they reached the gate, a voice called out to them. Neji, TenTen, Ino and Shikamaru were standing together. From their wet, sticky clothing, it was obvious that they had been out training.

"Naruto!" Ino called. "Sasuke! What are you guys doing out here?"

"Just taking a walk," Naruto said.

"Hey, what happened to you, anyway? Sakura says you've been put on medical leave for, like, a year – are you sick?" Her eyes scanned up and down Naruto's body. "You look ok, though. At least, you're walking around, and everything."

Sasuke started to say something, but Naruto cut him off. "I'm fine, Ino. Thanks for asking. It's just a… chakra flow issue. The Hokage says it'll take a while to fix it."

"Oh? Well, if it's a chakra flow problem, that makes sense – a ninja who's having trouble accessing their chakra is pretty useless after all… but Naruto, that sounds really serious…" Ino babbled.

"Chakra flow?" Asked Neji.

Before Naruto had a chance to respond, Neji had activated his Byakugan and was looking at him, trying to ascertain just exactly in which way his chakra was moving improperly.

"What?" He gasped, unable to keep the shock out of his voice. He started at Naruto for a minute, and then looked at Sasuke. "You?"

In response, Sasuke reached an arm around Naruto's thin shoulders, pulling her close to his chest. Ino and TenTen looked shocked, Shikamaru nonplussed, and Neji grunted in reply. Naruto started shrieking.

"Hey! You asshole! What do you think you're doing!"

"Might as well break the news," Sasuke said. He turned to the group. "We're having a baby."

"Oh my God…" Ino murmured.

Then, with effort, they recollected themselves.

"Hey! That's great!"

"Congratulations!"

"When is it due?!"

TenTen and Ino descending on Naruto in a flurry of activity, hugging him, asking questions, and dancing around as if the fact that their until recently male classmate had just managed to get himself knocked up was absolutely the best news they had heard in months. Shikamaru, Neji, and Sasuke found themselves pushed to the side, and they watched the girls with dubious expressions.

Finally, Neji spoke.

"Nice going, Uchiha."

Sasuke glared.

Naruto was looking a bit flustered by the girls' obvious excitement. Sasuke wondered if he should rescue him.

"Sorry," he said, grabbing Naruto's hand and pulling him away. "We have to go."

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Teme! Why did you say that!"

"When did you want to tell them?"

"I dunno," Naruto spluttered. "I guess I was sorta hoping I wouldn't have to."

Sasuke looked at him blankly. "Wouldn't have to? You're gonna get as big as a boat! How were you going to avoid it?"

Naruto whined. In order to avoid meeting anyone else, he had pulled Sasuke down a side street, back towards Iruka's house. "I dunno…"

"And besides, those guys are your friends, right? Don't you think they'd be hurt if they didn't hear it from you first?"

"First of all," Naruto huffed, "they're not just my friends, they're your friends too."

Sasuke doubted that, but he let Naruto continue.

"And secondly, I just needed some time to think about it first, ok?"

Sasuke sighed. "Sorry."

"What?"

"Sorry, ok?" He looked at Naruto. "Look, I'm actually happy that you're pregnant, ok?"

"What???"

"Don't yell, Dobe! I know you don't feel the same way, so I'm sorry, but I'm glad you're pregnant and I wanted to tell people about it!"

Naruto shook his head. "I can't believe it. Who would have thought Uchiha Sasuke to have a touchy-feely side?"

Sasuke must have been embarrassed, because instead of rising to the bait he merely looked away.

"You wouldn't feel that way if you were the one who got pregnant, though."

"What?" Sasuke snorted. "That's the weirdest thing I ever heard."

"Well, try to imagine that and then you'll know how I feel. Teme."

Sasuke couldn't imagine. It was just crazy. His thoughts were more focused on the fact that Naruto was pregnant, and on how to make up with the blonde as quickly as possible, so that they could get on to planning a life together. He tried to think of a response that would calm the boy down.

"I wouldn't mind it," he said, eventually. "If you were the father."

"Shut up! Asshole!" Naruto whirled and Sasuke saw that the blonde was preparing to attack him. _I can't respond,_ he thought. He kept his hands to his sides until he saw how much force Naruto was putting behind his punch, and then he put his hands up to protect his head.

The force of the hit pushed him back a few inches, his feet sliding in the dirt of the road.

"Don't make up cheesy romantic bullshit like that and think I'm gonna buy it!" Naruto yelled. He raised his hand and prepared to charge again. Sasuke could feel the chakra level in Naruto's body beginning to rise.

"Shit, Naruto, don't do that, it's bad for the…" He blocked again as a rain or kicks came down on him, the blond seemingly attacking him without strategy, furiously.

"Fight back, you asshole!" Naruto hissed.

Sasuke activated his sharigan. He had to, in order to see quickly enough to grab Naruto's hand, and leg, stopping them in mid-air. He transferred his grip to Naruto's two wrists, holding the girl far enough away from him that her kicks had difficultly reaching.

"Calm down!" He said. "For God's sake, calm down Naruto!"

The blonde panted and glared. Sasuke held him immobile for three, four, and then five minutes (earning some odd stares from the fish-seller who passed by them on his way down the street) before the his breathing slowed enough that Sasuke thought it was safe to release him.

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

By the time they made it back to Iruka's, they were both angry, sweaty, and tired. The teacher looked at the two figures without comment as they entered the house, and then Naruto pushed by him and went into the bedroom upstairs.

"I'll come again tomorrow." Sasuke promised.

"Don't bother!" Naruto yelled, from over his shoulder.

Iruka narrowed his eyes and glared at Sasuke. "What did you do to make him so upset?"

Sasuke glared back. "None of your business." He turned to go, but then looked back.

"I told him I was glad he was pregnant, and asked if he wanted to marry me."

Iruka's eyes opened wide. "That would make him mad."

"I know, but I still wanted to say it."

The teacher watched in surprise as the Uchiha's broad, navy-clad back, as Sasuke turned and walked away down the street. Then he shut the door, turning back to the sounds of Naruto cursing as he bumped things around in his bedroom.  
They both seemed very young.


	10. Part II: Chapter 9

_Ok… first of all, thank you to all my wonderful, kind reviewers. I really appreciate it, and it definitely has motivated me to write a lot…(Ok, maybe having a paper for school I want to procrastinate on also helped.) I'm about half way through chapter 10 so hopefully I can get that out by the middle of the week. _

_I know some reviewers commented on how OOC people were getting… yeah, I know. I read my own writing and cringe. But it's really, really hard to make characters stay in character when (face it) they're doing things that wouldn't ever actually happen… (whine…) damn… anyway, I think it's only going to get worse (sorry). I figure it's better to put up a chapter that I'm dissatisfied with than to wait and not post until I've done a lot of editing and am perfectly happy with (this never happens)._

_So, here's chapter 9. Mostly filler. _

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

Naruto was bored out of his mind. He couldn't help it. Three weeks since Tsunade diagnosed his pregnancy, and there was absolutely nothing to do, all day, that didn't involve chakra or practice or going on a mission.

Chakra was specifically out since, according to Tsunade, it might harm the baby. Or, "parasite number 2", as Naruto had taken to calling it. Parasite number 1 being the kyuubi. For all that the kyuubi was a demon, bent on destroying Konoha, and the baby was his own flesh and blood, he found himself preferring the fox just slightly. It, after all, lent him chakra, on occasion. The baby just took it away.

It was a sad fact that he really had very few hobbies or interests outside of his quest to become Konoha's next Hokage. Defeating Sasuke could be considered a hobby, but that was very far out of the picture at present, more so because the Uchiha had been unable to act normal around Naruto since hearing the news: he came around every day after his own missions were completed, and mostly tended to hover anxiously, attempt to induce Naruto to eat healthier food, and (whenever they were alone together) act romantic in a way that made Naruto vaguely queasy. He hadn't thought Sasuke had it in him to be express any emotions other than 'annoyed' or 'vindictive.' It would have been sweet, had the object of all that misplaced energy been some girl he had married instead of Konoha's number 1 surprising loud mouthed-ninja.

Asking Sakura out had been a hobby, sort of (even after she had gotten together with Lee he still did it every couple of days, out of tradition) but she seemed to be pretty weirded out by the whole thing, which Naruto couldn't exactly blame her for. A couple of days after breaking the news to Ino, TenTen, and the rest of the guys he had run into her on the street. She hadn't even been able to look him in the eyes: just stared at his gut while several emotions he couldn't even identify flashed across her face.

After that she had come to visit him, once every Friday. That she came on such a strict schedule made Naruto suspect that it was some sort of obligation she'd given herself. Each time, she had sat on the couch, drinking tea, and asked one or two questions about the pregnancy that were probably meant to seem casual but that came out sounding, even to Naruto's generally oblivious ears, terribly awkward.

He'd been sitting on top of the Fouth's head on Hokage mountain all morning, and while he did like the view, even that was starting to get old.

_I know!_ He thought_. I'll go visit Tsunade baa-chan! _

That was the best idea he'd had all morning. Leaping up, he prepared to run down the yondaime's forehead, before recalling belated that no chakra meant no way to anchor his feet to the vertical rock.

Grumbling, he made his way down the path, instead.

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

When he reached the gate he told the anbu on duty that he needed to speak with her. Since Tsunade was currently acting as his personal physician that granted him instant access to the building right away.

It was a coincidence that no one was in the hallway leading to Tsunade's office. As he walked towards the door, he could hear their voices

"What is this anyway Shizune? Totally unacceptable…"

He heard Tsunade's assistant sigh.

"Well, it is Kakashi, after all. His reports are always totally illegible."

"Yes, but this latest one isn't even on the correct form – just the back of a cocktail napkin. And what's this about claiming expenses for the purchase of ten boxes of condoms? Why on earth would he think that was a justifiable 'training-related expense'? Yes – come in, Naruto."

Naruto flinched. He had been so busy eavesdropping that he had momentarily forgotten that, without masking his chakra (even masking required a little bit of power, which he wasn't supposed to use) Tsunade would obviously know he was thereSmiling sheepishly, he opened the door and stuck his head into the room.

"Sorry, baa-san. I can come back later, if you're busy."

"No, not at all." Tsunade smiled at him, though she looked tired. "What can I do for you?"

Naruto tried quickly to think of some excuse for being there. Oh yeah! He recalled. That thing from the other night.

"Baa-chan, listen to this! Last night I tried to take a beer from Iruka's fridge and Sasuke freaking attacked me! I mean, he like literally knocked the beer out of my hand! Isn't that rude! And then he tried to forbid me from drinking anything." He scowled. "He said it's bad for the baby. I told him it's totally not." He looked from Tsunade to her assistant, and back again, with big round baby-blue eyes. "You said no chakra, but nothing about booze, right?"

Tsunade looked at Naruto. Then she looked at Shizune. Then she looked back at Naruto again.

Shizune took a sheath of papers off the desk. "I'll just carry these to the accountant," she said.

"Thanks…" Tsunade said. Then she turned to Naruto. "Naruto, I specifically said…" she paused to reframe her words in a gentler tone of voice. "Naruto, I'm afraid Sasuke did exactly the right thing. You absolutely cannot drink any alcohol. Is that clear?"

"Yes…" Naruto said, obediently. After he had gotten into a big fight with Sasuke about the beer, Iruka had come home and given him a huge lecture on the dangers of alcohol, so he had pretty much realized his mistake already. It was just an excuse of something to talk about.

"Is that all?" Tsunade asked, patiently. "You aren't going to ask me if you can sniff glue while you're pregnant, are you? Or take crystal meth?"

"What's crystal..." Naruto began to ask, but the hokage cut him off.

"No, on second thought, better if you don't get ideas. Naruto, eat only healthy food. Drink plenty of water. Don't take any little pills except the ones I give you – those are vitamins. Are we clear?"

"Yes."

"Ok, then." She smiled at him, expectantly. Clearly waiting for him to go.

"Uh.." Naruto stalled. "Baa-chan, what are you doing?"

"Just paperwork, Naruto. Look Naruto, I'm sorry, but I'm really busy today, ok? If there's nothing important, can we talk a little later on?"

From the next room, Shizune said, "Excuse me, I just realized, I need your signature on these as well."

Tsunade got up, stretching as she did so. "I'll be right there…" she called. "Naruto, I'll talk to you tomorrow, how's that?"

Naruto nodded glumly. Then his eyes lit up, as he realized that Tsunade had left a stack of letters, in their envelopes but unsealed, sitting in her outbox. While Tsunade and Shizune chatted in the other room, he quickly removed a letter.

"Hatake Kakashi is hereby informed that that all his reports from November of last year to the present are inadequate and must be resubmitted before reimbursement requests will be considered."

Naruto quickly opened the next letter. The name on the envelope was for Iruka-sensei.

"Ajib village pre-school is short of staff for next week's school musical. Practice will be from 2 to 4 pm every day next week; your responsibility will be to help the children learn the songs, 'I'm a little teapot', and 'Gray squirrel, swish your bushy tail'. Please note that on Saturday you will be required to arrive at 6 am to help with set-up. This will be a D-rank mission."

The third was for labeled 'all medical trainees".

"Please complete a report, to be due to the Hokage's office this Friday, on your choice of the following topics: reproductive and sexual health among Konoha kunoichi; high STD prevalence rates among anbu with long-term assignments in the capital; or what procedures you would recommend to prevent mother-to-child transmission of Hepatitis B for implementation in the Konoha hosital"

The last envelope in the stack bore the simple scrawl "For Jiraya"

Naruto peeked inside.

"Listen, you old pervert, and don't give me any of your excuses this time. I got complaints from some of the mothers in the village about that nasty little book of yours. I don't want to here anymore about you doing some kind of kinky 'research' in the women's baths. If I so much as see a copy of that thing in your hands, I'll throw you out of the village."

Each of the letters had already been signed with Tsunade's sprawling signature, waiting for Shizune's final check-over before they were send out.

The two women were still talking in the other room, but it looked like they might be about to wind up whatever they were talking about. Casually Naruto gathered up the four letters, and sauntered to the office down the hall from Tsunade's. From all the time he had spent visiting her – and the former hokage – he knew that there was a typewriter in there that almost no one ever used.

Humming to himself, he sat down beside the desk and inserted Kakashi's reprimand into the machine. It was one of those fancy electronic ones with an automatic white-out function.

He erased Kakashi's name from the heading, and then paused, leaning back in his chair. Whose name should he replace it with? Well, either Gai-sensei or Lee might be pretty funny, since both of them were known for writing long, elaborate reports that tended to take up pages at a time. It was a little mean – but he was sure they'd catch on before they put too much work into it. With a flourish, he typed "Maito Gai" into the empty space at the top of the page.

Then he looked at the next one. Who should he send to Ajib, to dance with the midgets? Sasuke was tempting… if the boy really wanted an heir that much, he should at least get a taste of what he was in for, first. But Naruto knew from other D-ranked missions that Sasuke could be pretty good with kids, when he needed to be. No, the person who would get properly flustered by such a thing would be...

Neji!

That prank with the sexy-no-jutsu had never gone to completion, after all. And Neji hated children. Looking around the office, he found an empty envelope, and typed Neji's name on the front.

Then for the report about STDs… Naruto shrugged. Sai would be good. He prepared a second envelope.

The crazy book letter could only be sent to Kakashi.

Pervert Sennin really did need to get his mind out of the gutter, but Naruto suspected that Tsunade sent him about five of those pissed-off messages a week and never got anywhere. That was because pervert-sennin was the only one who didn't have to worry about the full extent of Tsunade's anger. When she was upset enough, anyone else would snap to attention.

He used the erase function of the typewriter to change 'doing some kind of kinky research in the women's baths" to "reading while you should be guiding your wonderful students." It might even be enough, Naruto speculated, to get Kakashi to put down his stupid novel for a while. Then he slipped the letter in the envelope originally intended for the first letter, and sealed everything.

A job well done! He wiped his hands with a flourish. As he left the building, he handed them to the on-duty anbu.

"The hokage asked me to give you these, she says she needs them sent out by the end of the day."

The anbu grunted in acceptance, and Naruto waved, cheerfully goodbye. It wasn't turning out to be such a bad day after all.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Far, far away, on an island that ostensibly belonged to the Water country but was really its own separate nation, a goose arrived. It flapped it's wings slowly – after flying for days straight, it had barely managed to cross the water without drowning – but the controlling curse burnt into the back of it's neck was exerting such a strong force that it had been unable to stop even for rest.

A fisherman's wife, knotting her husband's net on the shore as she waited for the boats to come in, noticed the bird and felt a wash of pleasure: it was a mainland species, that was hardly over seen over the isles at that time of year, and it's presence was a harbinger of good things to come: a mild season in which the catch would be good.

Perhaps she would have felt differently if she could have felt the bird's bone-deep weariness. As it was, she followed the flight of the animal until it disappeared into the trees to the north of the island – in the direction of the shack where the monk had taken up residence a year before, living simply in order to atone for some sin of a prior life. Folks were already whispering that the monk was powerful and perhaps dangerous. However, when the fisherman's wife saw his face, almost as smooth and handsome as a young boy's, she was inclined to think that he couldn't really be so bad. Maybe, like so many of the mainlanders who found their way to the isle, he was just looking for a little peace.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

After Itachi took the message which had been tied to the bird's scrawny leg, he broke the animal's neck cleanly, and set to preparing a pot of boiling water in order to remove the feathers from the animal. Sending a goose was his old subordinate's idea of a joke, he supposed, or an attempt to please Itachi, as such species were considered rather a delicacy in the Fire Country from which the bird had originated.

Removing the blindfold he usually wore revealed something startling: a cross-hatching of scars, both vertical and horizontal, across each eye; and a pair of bright green eyes, in startling contrast to the color of his skin and hair. One might almost have thought that they belonged to a different person.

He read the message as he ate, turning its contents over in his mind. Had he known the jinnchuuriki could conceive, his plan for the boy might have been different, long ago. Jinchuuriki were often said to give birth to unusually powerful children, a fact that somehow related to the presence of the strong demon youkai near which the baby was incubated. However, the vast majority of jinchuuriki, male and female alike, were sterile.

The second part of the message was even more interesting: the identity of the father.

If his spy had sent him this information, it must have been sold to other spies as well. He found it rather amusing that Konoha – it was, after all, a secret ninja village – couldn't keep such valuable data from reaching the ears of every S-class criminal within a thousand miles. More so when one considered the vast number of pregnancies for whom there was no accurate way in which to determine paternity.

It was almost as if… someone had leaked the information. Someone wanted everyone to know what was going on in Konoha.

That gave Itachi pause for thought. Ninjas could play games within games. It was all very well to hear that there was the expectation of an addition to his extended family, but he didn't want to be inadvertently manipulated by the information. He would give himself time before deciding what to do.

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Naruto, what are you doing here?" Sai said in surprise. It was morning, and he was on his way to the bridge where team 7 gathered to train. He hadn't expected Naruto to join them.

Awkwardly, Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "just thought I'd see what was going on…"

Sai nodded briefly in response. "Let's go together then, shall we?"

He still didn't know what to make, exactly, of Naruto's pregnancy. Well, he was only about two months pregnant, so he wasn't even showing yet. At the moment, though, even Sai, with his limited powers of emotional observation, could tell that Naruto was bored. He had heard about the no-chakra rule, as well as the no-intense-training rule. Sai sighed. If it had been him, he would have spent his time painting. But of course Naruto had no interest in that kind of thing.

They reached the training ground where Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakashi were already at work. When they saw Naruto coming, Sasuke opened his mouth, but Sai stopped him.

"Naruto said he'd come and watch," he said, cheerfully. "You and I are sparring today, Sasuke-kun, so you'd better be tough if you don't want me to embarrass you in front of your girlfriend…. OW!" Naruto had moved fast, to hit Sai so quickly that he hadn't even felt it coming. "What was that for?"

"I'm not his girlfriend, you asshole." Naruto growled.

Sakura hurried to grab Naruto's arm. "Of course not, Naruto…" she said, placatingly. "You know how Sai is…"

"How?" Asked Sai.

"Quiet!" She barked. "Naruto, why don't you sit under that tree… with Kakashi… I'm working solo today, so…"

Naruto hrmphed meaningfully, but let himself be lead over to the tree where Kakashi was sitting. He then noticed that the Copy-Nin's hands were for once empty. Naruto chuckled. Maybe his little prank was already working out.  
"Hey, Kakashi-sensei," he said, settling down. "Where's your book?"

Kakashi glanced at him. Hard to tell with the mask, but he thought the sensei's one eye looked a little bit bloodshot. "I finished it," he said, shortly. "Waiting for the next one to come out."

"Oh? Because, _ano saa_, I bet I could get Jiraya-pervert to send me the pre-release of the latest copy, if you really want to…"

"Ah, no thanks," Kakashi said, faintly. Naruto saw that his hands twitched slightly – as if they were itching to hold onto something. "It doesn't seem as… interesting as it used to…"

Sakura and Sai, who had still been listening to their conversation, looked at Kakashi in amazement. "Hey, Sasuke, did you hear that?" Sai began. "Kakashi says that he's no longer interested in…"

"It's not such a big deal!" Sakura interrupted. "Gee, Kakashi-sensei, that's great! You've finally decided to broaden your mind! Listen, I have some great manga I'll bring you tomorrow, ok?"

Kakashi, however, was too lost in his painful state of loss to even notice what was being said. He nodded, once, distractedly, and Sakura took that as a yes.

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

Naruto dozed under the tree. From the distance he could hear the sounds of Sasuke and Sai's sparring, and in the other direction Sakura was pounding massive holes into rocks and trees. It was, he decided, rather peaceful.

The next time he awoke, it was just in time to hear Sai ask, "Hey, Sakura, how old were you when you lost your virginity?"

Naruto perked up immediately. He wasn't disappointed. "Sai," Sakura answered, in the sweetest, deadliest voice imaginable, "Asking girls questions like that is considered inappropriate. You might embarrass them."

"Oh." Said Sai. He jotted something down in a small notebook. "Well, in that case, can you tell me how many different sexual partners you've had? And approximately what percentage of the time you use contraception?"

The fist landed squarely in his face, and the pink-haired woman marched away. Clenching her teeth, she sat down next to Naruto.

"Why on Earth is he asking such stupid questions?" She demanded of Naruto. "You'd think that he knew better by now!"  
Naruto tried to look helpful. "Maybe he's interested in someone," he said, "and is trying to gain information about how to approach her."

"Oh!" Sakura clapped her hands together. "That must be it! Naruto, you're a genius!" She stopped. "But, oh, no, if he doesn't stop asking those rude questions he'll definitely be rejected. I've got to help him."

The blonde-haired ninja watched as his teammate stood up and returned to where Sai was standing. "Ok, who is it?" She asked.

"Who is who?" He said, politely.

"Nevermind," Sakura shook her head. "I understand if you're shy. Ok, listen, you can't ask those kind of questions, ok?"

"Alright,' Sai said. "Then how am I supposed to get the information I need?"

"What information?"

He handed over a piece of paper. Naruto watched as Sakura read closely. "This doesn't seem right…" he heard her say…

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

And then he was off. The Ajip nursery school was only a few miles from the training grounds, and he enjoyed his early afternoon stroll through the forest. He enjoyed it even more when he came upon Neji, dancing in a circle with seven five-year olds, trying to get them to work out all the movements to their dance practice in sync.

"There you are," came a voice from behind him.

"Sasuke," Naruto replied. "What's up?"

Sasuke looked at Neji for a moment and then smirked. "Sakura took Sai's letter to Tsunade and it seems someone may have switched the envelopes. You don't know anything about that, do you?"

"Not a clue," Naruto said, cheerfully.

"And Neji playing Ring-Around-The-Rosy over there wouldn't be in any way related, would it?"

"I don't think so."

"Ah."

Just then, Naruto's belly rumbled.

"You didn't skip lunch, did you?"

"Oh, I was a little sick this morning," Naruto grumbled. "Usually when that happens not eating for a while makes me feel better."

Sasuke opened his mouth to say something, then shut it abruptly.

"What?" Naruto said.

"Nothing. Let's go back."

"Oh?" Naruto looked back towards Neji. "You aren't going to do anything about that?"  
Sasuke shrugged. "You didn't send any more letters astray, did you?"

Naruto scratched his head. "Not that I can remember."

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

Tsunade rubbed her temples. It had been pretty funny when Neji had stormed in, slamming down a report on her desk that detailed his teaching activities, and then practically begged never to be sent 'into that lion's den' – as he refered to the preschool – again.

It had even been funny when she had found Kakashi walking around with his nose buried in a copy of "You Can Do It! – Girl Dynamo Ikari-chan!" instead of his usual Icha-Icha paradise.

But it had not been funny when Maito Guy had crawled into her office with rings under his eyes, clearly not having slept at all for a week in an attempt to get ALL of his recent reports rewritten – so tired out and almost physically unwell as a result that she had to remove him from the mission she had intended to assign him too. She had sent Shikamaru instead, and that had thrown off her whole schedule… that then resulted in sending Konohamaru's team on their first A-ranked mission… that they really hadn't been fully prepared for…

Luckily they had succeeded with flying colors, but the pounding she had felt in her chest as she waited for them to return was still with her, and she flew into a rage when she looked out of her office window to see Naruto cheerfully whistling as he strolled towards Ichiraku's ramen.

"Nar_uuuTOOO!"_

He flinched as he saw her coming, and then turned around to meet her with a sheepish grin on his face.

"Whatever it is, Baa-chan, I didn't do it this time, I swear! I was just…"

"Naruto." She said. "Tomorrow. Eight a.m. Be in my office."

She started him on filing (though only on filing very unimportant things, because it soon became clear that he could lose _anything_)- and Shizune gave him photocopying to do, and other small jobs. He didn't complain much about this, which Tsunade guessed was because he _had_ been bored out of his mind and was truly grateful just to be kept busy.

She felt a little bad for him about the whole Hokage thing.

He was getting strong – had been getting strong, because, crap, the only person who could beat him these days was Sasuke, and even that was an even fight – or even weighted ever-so-slightly in Naruto's favor. The time had been coming, she had thought, when she might truly hand over the Hokage job to him: because the premier qualification to be Hokage was, in addition to being sworn to protect the village, that you be the strongest. And Naruto was probably even stronger than her. He was crap at paperwork, to be sure – but that was what good assistants were for.

But now – a fucked-up jutsu, and a pregnancy – meant Naruto was out of the running for 7 more months at least, and then recovery-time and taking-care-of-the-baby time – that could easily add up to several years of decreased training, which to a ninja at the top of his form was devastating.

There was a reason that very few kunoichi became Hokage, and that those who did – like Tsunade – very rarely had children.

This might truly be the end of Naruto's dream.

Tsunade smiled, though. Watching Naruto dart around the office brought a new energy to the place: even the Anbu couldn't help from smiling, from time to time, at his zeal. Even if he couldn't make Hokage, he would continue to be an immeasurable asset to Konoha – just by his will, he was able to bring about such great change.

Before all this had happened she had been thinking of stepping down, knowing that, in the end, Naruto would be the most likely candidate to replace her, and that she would give her recommendation for him to do so. Now, though, she was thinking of holding off on that for a few more years: three or four, maybe, or even a little more. She could hold on that long, and that would give Naruto time to have the baby, recover, and then begin to build his strength back up.

It was a little unfair to the other candidates for the position – she knew that some elders looked favorably on Sasuke, for instance, and some on Shikamaru. However, both these boys were unfailingly loyal to Naruto, and that reinforced his legitimacy. She was unfailingly loyal to Naruto too.


	11. Part II: Chapter 10

_Thank you to all my great reviewers! Here is Chapter 10!!! Almost done! Woo-Hoo!_

**xoxoxoxoxo**

"Would you at least move in with me?"

Naruto looked at Sasuke through one half-open eye, as if he were terribly unimpressed.

"Teme," he said. "I'm perfectly happy here with Iruka."

"Actually," Iruka said – he and Sasuke had carefully choreographed this conversation ahead of time – "I think it's a good idea too."

"WHAT???" Naruto looked horrified. "Iruka-sensei, don't betray me…"

"Really, I don't know why you're so opposed to this idea. Look – you're four months pregnant already-"

Naruto still had not learned to discuss the topic of the pregnancy with grace, but it was becoming harder and harder to ignore. His belly was getting larger bit by bit, and was becoming impossible for Naruto to hide with his baggy t-shirts.

"And Sasuke_ is_ the father and you do need to start thinking about what you are going to do once the baby arrives."

"What do you mean?"

"Like, where are you going to live! What stuff do you need to get to take care of it! How are you going to arrange your life!"  
Naruto huffed. "I've thought about that stuff!"  
"Oh?" Sasuke said, "tell me!"

Naruto paused. His vision was of himself, and possibly Jiraya – and then a little Naruto – skipping through the forest together on a training journey. He could probably convert his backpack into a snuggly. "He – or she – can live with me, and I will take care of him. Or her."

"You have no money." Iruka pointed out, reasonably. "And no idea how to take care of a child."

"Oh, and the teme does?"

Sasuke didn't bother to answer. "I want you – you _both_," he stressed, "to live with me. Or else I will move in with you."

Naruto sulked.

"What's your problem with this, anyway?"

He refused to answer. His problem with it was that moving in with Sasuke reeked of… domesticity. And permanence. And Naruto, despite the pigtails and the boobs and the… other things, that might be missing, or temporarily out of place… did not want to spend the rest of his life wearing a cute little apron with the Uchiha symbol embroidered on the strap, waiting for his big strong fucking _husband _to come home from work and play with the kiddies.

"We could still get married, you know," Sasuke said, blandly – and Naruto threw him a dirty look, "but I'm not talking about that. I'm just saying – you know, there's plenty of room – and we can set up a nursery- and" –this was his trump card – "if I'm there to help take care of the baby, you can return to missions that much more quickly.."

Naruto hadn't thought of that. "Return to missions… more quickly?" He repeated hopefully.

"Haven't you thought of that?" Iruka said. "It's not like you can leave a shadow-clone at home to watch the kid while you work, at least not all the time. If you guys work together then it'll be a lot easier and…"

Naruto leaned back in his chair. "So we should start living together to prepare…" his voice trailed off. "Nah."

Sasuke stood up, slamming his hands on the table, but Iruka put one hand down, quietly, to calm him.

"Naruto, listen, I'm kicking you out."

"WHAAT?"

"You two need to work this out! God, I can't believe you're being so selfish!" His voice hushed. "Listen, Naruto, think about your own childhood. What did you yourself most want?"

Naruto looked shocked. His face blanked for a moment. "Friends..." he said, finally. "Friends, and… I guess… Family."

"So you do understand, then, that this is real. If you deprive your child of a parent – by refusing to let Sasuke get close – you will be doing a horrible thing."

He was stunned. But then he nodded slowly. "All right." He said. He looked at Sasuke. "Tomorrow, then? I'll move my things in."

**xoxoxoxoxo**

Sakura and Lee came over together, to help move Naruto's stuff. But it wasn't much, really – a bunch of scrolls, a bunch of ratty manga with dog-eared pages – dishes and pots and pans that the blonde seemed overly attached too, as he fretted over how they should be wrapped up.

"You know, I've got this stuff at my place, too," Sasuke suggested.

"No!" Naruto barked. "I want my dishes, ok?"

Sakura raised an eyebrow. When Naruto had left the room for a moment, she mouthed 'hormones?"

Lee frowned. "You know, this stuff is all he has."

"So?" Sakura said.

"So, it's very important to him."

"Ah." She looked down at the cracked little dish she held in her hand more carefully. " Sasuke, maybe you should use this stuff at your house, too. Just to make him more comfortable."

Just at that moment Sasuke wasn't listening. He was half drifting, looking out the window, as he watched Naruto adding a box to the pile that was building up next to his apartment building.

**xoxoxoxoxo**

They made quite a procession, carting Naruto's things down the street and into the Uchiha district of town (it was still called the Uchiha district, although only one Uchiha was left). Sakura and Lee were both excited to be inside Sasuke's house, which it was rate to get invitations too, and as they kicked off their shoes they couldn't help but look all around, gazing into the foyer and trying to peer into the dark hallways.

"You can put Naruto's stuff in here," Sasuke said, opening a door. The room it lead into was small but bright, and Sakura could smell the faint odor of lemony cleaner on the wooden floor and furniture. It made her smile a little, to imagine Sasuke dusting the room so carefully.

"… but wait.." she said, thinking out loud. "Won't you two share a room?"

She and Lee both caught the quick look that passed between Sasuke and Naruto: defensive in Naruto's part, stoic on Sasuke's.

"I thought you might like a private place," Sasuke said, eventually, speaking just to Naruto.

After a moment the blonde laughed – a little artificially, Sakura thought. "Yeah, you know me! I'm totally messy, and this neat freak'll spazz out if he has to look at my crap everywhere. This way, he can just close the door."

Sakura giggled. "That makes sense." She looked at Lee. "Should we go?"

"Awww, no!" Naruto protested. "Come on, you helped me out, let's go get ramen together!"

But Sasuke didn't join in Naruto's pleading for them to stay. Lee and Sakura took the hint and withdrew politely.

**xoxoxoxoxo**

As they left the house, Sakura felt Lee envelope her hand in his. It still startled her a little when he did that. Though she still tried to tell herself that she liked the sensation of his large, strong hand, protecting hers; in fact, it felt awkward: awkward and a bit sweaty.

"Why do you think Sasuke likes Naruto so much?" She suddenly burst out, surprising herself, and certainly Lee, with the force of her statement.

"Does he?" Lee said, finally. "That's good. With those two, it's a little hard to tell. Honestly, I never saw it coming. Naruto's usually so cheerful, but he was almost acting pissed-off. And Sasuke-san's so reserved."

"Lee…" Sakura said, and then restrained herself from saying all the cruel things she was thinking of letting out. That she didn't really love Lee all that much. That she had only just settled for him because she had wanted to have a boyfriend. And that Naruto and Sasuke were both her best friends in equal parts but that she must be, in fact, a really bad person – because it tore her into pieces to see them together.

"When I look at them," Lee said, more to himself then to her. "I feel so glad for what we have. You know, the way they make each other crazy. I like our relationship, you know? It's quiet, but it's like we really appreciate each other."

I'm not one of those girls, Sakura thought, who can be happy with a quiet love. I still want a relationship that has fireworks: huge fights, dramatic break-ups and make-ups. I want ridiculous romantic gestures. I want to be so in love with another person that we act totally selfish, thinking only about each other.

"But why does he love Naruto?" She asked again.

Lee looked at her, and smiled, a little sadly. "Probably the same reason that everyone loves Naruto. He's special, right?"

"Yeah…" Sakura muttered. Naruto was special. And perhaps she understood. Naruto was pure, and maybe Sasuke wanted some of that purity to rub off.

"Maybe that's why we could never be together," she said. Lee looked at her in surprise. "I mean, I'm a really bad person, and Sasuke kind of is too. Maybe we both need someone good" she leaned on Lee's shoulder. "You know, to balance us out."

"Sakura-chan," Lee said – not fully understanding, but happy that she seemed to be in a warm mood nonetheless. "You're definitely my better half."

"Oh?" Sakura said, cheekily. "I won't argue with you now, but treat me to some cake at the café?"

**xoxoxoxoxo**

Sasuke and Naruto looked at each other, almost glaring, sitting across from each other at Sasuke's overly large kitchen table as they sipped the tea Sasuke had brewed.

It was going to be a battle of wills, Sasuke could tell.

He didn't like this way of battling with Naruto nearly as much as the purely physical way.

With Naruto unable to fight because of his pregnancy, they had lost their best, and most effective, means of communicating with each other. No matter what had happened between them in the past, they had always been able to reconnect – to understand each other's emotions – when their fists connected.

When Naruto couldn't fight, the only alternative was to stew.

Sasuke had already decided that Naruto's moving in would be a real moving-in – he wanted them to be living together, like a couple, instead of like a couple of roommates in school. He had decided to try and make that clear right away. Why was Naruto being so ridiculous anyway? They'd already been together – already they were having the kid. Platonic obviously wasn't in the picture, so why did the blonde keep trying to pretend like it was?

Naruto shifted in his chair uneasily. Sasuke had that dark, brooding look on his face. What was he brooding about? Itachi? The latest mission?

Then he caught the look in Sasuke's eye – brooding, determined _and_ possessive… and quickly decided to distract Sasuke as quickly as possible.

"Wanna watch TV?" he asked, hastily standing up and going over to Sasuke's set. "Wow, it looks like you've got a million channels…." He flipped the television on and began running through the options all at once. "We should watch a move tonight, which one is good? Do you have 'Return of the Nin-Dragon III? That one's totally a classic and…"

"Hey, Naruto," Sasuke said. Naruto turned to look at him. Sasuke's elbows were on the table and his hands folded under his chin. He looked totally calm. "Let's have sex tonight."

"What? Why? Geez, you perv!" Naruto spluttered. "What are you talking about."

_Seduction mode on…_ Sasuke thought jokingly to himself. Casually he stood up, and walked towards Naruto. "Well, you're here, and I think that calls for a celebration?" Very lightly he let his lips brush over Naruto's own, and then slowly began to move in more deeply. He felt with satisfaction Naruto's mouth open, and the blonde's body soften a little bit against him. Naruto's cheeks were flushed. How cute, Sasuke thought, and brought his hand up to brush against them. This might actually be easier than he had been thinking…

WHAM! Naruto's push caught him off balance, and as he was pushed back a step or two he hit the back of his leg against the coffee table.

"What?" He shouted.

Naruto looked at him. He was breathing heavily, and he caught his breath. "Sorry," he said. "Mood swings. Pregnant woman's prerogative." He stalked back to the table and sat down. "Sasuke, may I ask what we are doing?"

Oh no, Sasuke thought, glumly. A talk. He couldn't believe Naruto wanted to have a talk – the same thing dumb girls wanted from him when they were asking why, oh why, he didn't want to go out with them, and other idiotic questions of that nature. Girls loved to talk about things. And Naruto was becoming one of them.

"Alright," He said, evenly. He sat back down across from Naruto.

Neither spoke.

"I am in love with you," Sasuke said. "I'm in love with you, and I want us to be together."

"Gee, Sasuke, that's very nice,' Naruto said, a touch sarcastically.

Sasuke shrugged.

"Are you just saying that," Naruto said eventually, "because I'm pregnant with your kid now, and it's become a responsibility?" He looked rather violent. "I _hate _that. I mean, we used to tell each other everything. I don't want to become just one more person you feel like you have to lie to."

Sasuke blinked. That wasn't quite the reaction he had been expecting Naruto to have.

"I'm not."

"Oh?" Said Naruto. "Then don't make up such ridiculous romantic bullcrap."

Man, Sasuke thought. He might look like a pregnant woman, but he still talked like a potty-mouthed kid. I've never really be honest with Naruto, he thought, irrelevantly. There are still lots of things from Sound that I wouldn't share…

Well, maybe he could share just one. But he had to pick carefully.

"You know," he said, slowly. "When I was in Sound, I had a lover."

"WHAT?" Naruto gaped, and then grinned, and then gaped again like the idiot he was. "No way! I always thought…"

"You always thought what?"

"Well, I mean, from the way you talked, I always thought you were… well… like me… when we, uh…"

"A virgin?"

Naruto blushed. "Well, yeah."

Sasuke shrugged. 'It's…" _it's not a big deal_, he had been about to say. But he stopped himself, because that would probably give Naruto the wrong idea. "I chose him because he looked like you," he began, just at the same moment that Naruto blurted out,

"So, what was she like?"

They looked at each other.

"He?" Naruto asked, cautiously.

It was a tense moment.

"Because he looked like me?"

Sasuke shrugged.

"Why?"

"…"

"I thought you were… uh…" Naruto flailed around. "straight?"

"Dumbass," Sasuke said. "Do you think I'd sleep with you just 'cause you became a girl?"

Naruto looked puzzled. Then he nodded slightly. "Yeah, I guess that's why I thought we did sleep together."

Sasuke took the plunge. "Then, does that mean you can't love me back?"

"What?" Naruto yipped. Then he shook his head. "Look, I dunno Sasuke. This is gonna take me a minute to wrap my head around." He stood up. "I'm getting kind of hungry, huh? Can I make some ramen?"

"It's your house now, too." Sasuke mumbled.

Somehow that just made Naruto blush brighter. Without answering, he went into the kitchen. Sasuke followed him.

"So," Naruto said, eventually. "Are you seriously… umm…" he almost whispered. "in love with me?"

Sasuke scowled. 'I'm not gonna repeat that, dobe."

"Oh," Naruto said. "Oh, uh, ok."

"But you aren't. With me."

Naruto shrugged his shoulders. His back was to Sasuke as he filled Sasuke's kettle with water, and then put it on the stove to boil. Sasuke watched that back with so much intensity that he imagined he could see the shoulder blades underneath Naruto's t-shirt; and the vertebrae at the base of his neck.

"You're my best friend," Naruto said, finally, with determination. "Of course I love you."

He paused.

"I'm not... uh... in love with you. But I guess I could be. The… uhh.." Sasuke saw the red creeping up the back of his neck, "the sex wasn't that bad. I think I like fooling around."

Sasuke didn't reply. Naruto felt himself growing angry. "What?" He yelled, whirling around. "What more do you want?"

"No," Sasuke sighed. "I guess that's good. I'm glad."

"Then why are you sighing, jerk?'

Then suddenly Naruto got it. Sasuke was sighing because he was _in love_ with Naruto – that's what he was saying. He was sighing because he was in love with Naruto and Naruto didn't love him back – at least not quite as much.

When the kettle began to whistle it startled Naruto so much that he almost knocked it over with his elbow. As it was Sasuke leapt halfway from his seat when it looked like the hot water might splash.

"I don't know," Naruto said, finally. He couldn't bring himself to reject Sasuke – he had a hard time rejecting anybody anyway, and this was _Sasuke_ – "but I think, um, we can try? No, uh..." he blushed again, and looked dangerous, "No getting married, or anything. But we'll just try, like exclusive dating."

"Ok," said Sasuke, trying to keep a straight face at that ridiculous comment, and at the same time feeling elated for the first time in days.

"Good."

"Good."

He was in love with the densest guy in the world…

**xoxoxoxoxo**

"Well," Tsunade said, taking the thermometer from Naruto's mouth and recording its measurement on a clipboard. "I'm sort of surprised to say this, but you're as healthy as a horse."

"Great," Naruto said. "Do you want me to pee in a cup now, or can I go home?"

Tsunade looked at her eighteen-year old 'baby brother' – now six months pregnant, and struggling to make a black t-shirt stretch over his taut belly. He really needed to switch to maternity clothing, but she had a feeling that mentioning such a thing to him would be too much of a blow to his pride. Before she could reply, a knock at the door caught her attention.

"Sorry I'm late," Sasuke said, stiffly.

Tsunade looked at him with mild surprise.

"I said he could…uh…" Naruto stuttered. "I asked if he wanted to come to the appointment. You said we might do an ultrasound today."

Tsunade nodded. "You missed it, Sasuke, but we have the photographs."

She handed them the envelope. Naruto ripped it open in the same way a five-year old would open his birthday presents, leaving scraps of paper on the floor.

"Awww…" He groaned. "What is this? It looks like some kind of little alien, baba." He glared at Sasuke. "Are you sure all that Uchiha inbreeding hasn't predisposed us to genetic freaks?"

"Give me that," Sasuke said, impatiently, snatching the pictures from Naruto's hand. "Dobe. You're holding it upside down. That's the head."

"Aww…" Naruto said. "I see. Two legs after all. Is it a boy or a girl, baba? Wait, wait!" He threw his hands over his ears. "Don't tell me! I'd rather find out later!"

Tsunade moved to leave the two of them alone in the consulting room for a moment. Naruto was hyper, and didn't seem to be regarding the ultrasound photos with too much seriousness… but she saw the way that Sasuke gripped the edges of the shot he was holding – delicately, so as not to injure it, but his knuckles were white and his hands almost shaking. He glanced at Naruto, just for a second, with a look so open: pride, and excitement, and even love… that the Hokage suddenly felt she was intruding on something intensely private.

She slipped out the door.

**Xoxoxoxoxo**

How much work had it taken to get Naruto back into bed? And now, here they were, his own little family of three. Naruto was lying on his side, and Sasuke lay beside him, the tousled blankets pushed to the bottom of the bed.

… even with the belly, Naruto was sexy.

In fact, it was sort of extra sexy, when Sasuke looked at the belly and ran his hands over it, to think that there was a child inside that was _his_. And Naruto's.

He glanced up to see the blonde girl glaring in a way that, if he hadn't been so aroused, he probably would have recognized as a danger sign.

"Sasuke," Naruto said, eventually… "What are you doing down there?"

Abruptly he pulled himself forward, so that his head was level with Naruto's.

"What?" He asked, a little challengingly.

Naruto looked away. 'It's just… uh…" He avoided eye contact. "It just seems a little pervy when you focus on the parasite like that."

Sasuke bit back a laugh. "The parasite?"

"Well. Yeah.. because, you know, it's living off of me. And stuff."

"Hmm?" Naruto was still turning his face away form him. Gently he leaned down and kissed Naruto's cheek. Then he bit his ear, very lightly. Then he turned into it, nuzzling.

"Eww!" The surprise feeling of Sasuke's tongue on his ear caused Naruto to turn his face towards the Uchiha, surprised.

"There we go," Sasuke said, smoothly, leaning down and kissing Naruto deeply. His hand was on Naruto's waist. When they broke for air, he moved his hand down, slightly, tracing the belly.

"I'm allowed to think your belly is sexy." He said.

"damn… fetish…" Naruto mumbled.

"It's not." Sasuke said. "It's my kid in there. I'm allowed to think that that's pretty exciting."

Naruto looked thoughtful for a moment. "You mean you want to have sex in front of the parasite?" He shuddered. "That's just.. uh… ah… ah… hey, Sasuke, stop it…"

Sasuke nipped his collarbone. "Yeah, our kid is definitely going to end up scarred."

Naruto started to smile, and then he caught himself.

"You're not supposed to act angry during sex," Sasuke teased.

Naruto started to laugh.

"What?" Sasuke was slightly surprised.

"It's just…" Naruto giggled, almost gasping for air, "It's just still a little weird to hear you say things like that."

"Ah.." Sasuke said, and sucked on Naruto's collarbone a little bit, hoping to leave a visible hickey.

"Hey, stop it!" Naruto realized what he was trying to do, and with more agility than Sasuke was used to expecting from a pregnant woman, managed to reverse their positions so much that he was able to get a lock on Sasuke's neck, which he kissed; a little sloppily, Sasuke thought irrelevantly, but it felt so good when Naruto took the initiative.

Pleased with himself, the blonde looked up into Sasuke's eyes. "That'll definitely leave a mark."

"Good," Sasuke said, unconcerned.

"Good!" Naruto repeated. "Why… you…"

And they tumbled back on the bed again, half-wrestling, half-kissing. It was that kind of playful lovemaking that Sasuke had never before imagined. It just seemed right with Naruto, a natural outgrowth of his playful personality that could go from goofy to intense and back in a moment. Nothing else felt so good.

**xoxoxoxoxo**

Later in the night, he sat on the side of the bed, watching the blonde's calm sleep. He was curled around his belly, almost, the body protecting the baby and the bed protecting the body, and Sasuke looking over them all…

Except he hadn't, had he? He must have been mad, in those early days when the pregnancy hadn't yet seemed real, to have done what he had done. He told himself it was to protect Naruto. But what if it had really been something he had done for himself.

Sasuke shook his head, driving the bad thoughts away. What was done was done, and Naruto would never know. Somehow that seemed like the most important thing.

In the meantime…

In the meantime, he had used his entire life – his future – as bet. Bet the future on the future: bet that Naruto and the baby would be safer and happier eventually if he could get rid of Itachi now, once and for all. So they wouldn't have to spend every night waiting, and wondering when he would come back to finish them.

All the Uchihas.

He knew little of Itachi – he had been too young, in the days when they were brothers – to understand what had motivated Itachi, really. Power. But there was also something about the Uchiha, a cursed clan that shouldn't be allowed to continue. Itachi had believed that: it hadn't been only about a measuring-stick for his power.

If another Uchiha was coming into the world, surely Itachi would come.

Sasuke was counting on it, and he was waiting.

**xoxoxoxo**

Let us tell the story of a Konoha ninja.

This ninja shall remain nameless. He is a jounin. He is, in fact, an Anbu. He is strong and his strength is Konoha's strength.

But the very strong know also when they are beaten.

This is why the jounin, who had been around since the days when the Uchiha clan still lived, did not speak: even when he recognized the footsteps and the way of moving of an enemy, a very old enemy he had hoped never to see again.

Uchiha Itachi.

The murderer, definitely. He was wearing a mask, and the markings of a Suna nin, but there were no Suna nin who matched his description. The jounin could recognize Itachi's form even from a distance, even though the last time he had seen Itachi had been many years ago. The memory of Itachi was burned into him that strongly. It was Itachi, disguised, who was now walking quietly through the Konoha shopping district, passing among the shoppers who did not even recognize him.

But no one else in the market appeared to have recognized Itachi. And the Anbu considered. He did not know why Itachi had returned, and he did not want to know. He was not on duty. And he had a life, and a family, to protect. He only hoped the criminal would complete whatever business he was there for and then go away, as quickly as possible.

He turned his back and hurried home.


	12. Part II: Chapter 11

_Ok folks, here's the deal. Thank you so much for sticking with me until now!!! I know there were some big typos in the last chapter, and I will do my best to do back and correct them eventually. _

_This was a freaking impossible chapter to write. I HATE writing fight scenes. I probably worked this one over two or three times and I just can't get it right. Anyway, though, I'm still throwing it up as is for now._

_BIG WARNING to all you female Naruto fans. As of the next chapter I post, Naruto's getting his balls back. That's right, boy-Naruto is coming back. _

**xoxoxoxoxo**

"Naruto, you're as big as a house!"  
Sakura clamped her hands over her mouth with horror. She had been sent to deliver some medicines to Naruto, not to insult the poor boy. Now, as she stood on the doorstep of his house, she couldn't believe that she'd just said that out loud. "I mean.. um…"

"It's fine," Naruto said, "I'm due, like, three days ago." He smiled. "I feel like I'm gonna pop. You wanna come in for some tea?"

Sakura nodded quickly, and followed him into the house.

Naruto waddled into the kitchen. "Can you check the fridge?" He asked. "I think there's some cake in there from the other night."

Sakura opened the fridge and gaped. "What is this?" She asked.

Naruto looked over her shoulder. "Bah." He grumbled.

She didn't see any cake. What she did see were pre-made onigiri, a plate of sliced raw vegetables, a glass bottle labeled, "Carrot Juice" in Sasuke's neat handwriting, a small bowl of yogurt: an entire refrigerator full, in fact, stocked full of neatly labeled health foods.

Naruto clenched his head in his hands. "He must have thrown away that cake. Hinata even made it for me. Argh! Sakura-chan, you gotta help me." Sighing, he took out the raw vegetables and the onigiri. "He's making me crazy. I mean, aren't pregnant people allowed to have cravings? And I'm craving cake, damn it. And ramen."

Sakura giggled in spite of herself. "He's trying to make you eat healthy, huh?"

"Yeah. I thought I'd gotten away from him for a few days while he went on that C-rank mission, but apparently he snuck around to Tsunade and got her to take him off the roster…" Both Naruto and Sakura froze as they heard the door slam.

"Naruto!"

"In here!"

Sasuke came in looking sweaty and tired. Sakura thought vaguely that it wasn't fair that even that was a good look for him: the sweat making his bangs stick to his forehead and his shirt to his chest, the exhaustion just looked like bedroom eyes. "Sakura," he said, shortly.

"Sasuke." She replied.

"Sasuke-teme! What the hell did you do with that cake that Hinata-chan brought me yesterday?"

Sasuke looked impassive. "I ate it." He said. "For lunch."

"LIAR!" Naruto yelled. "There's no way you ate half a cake. And you don't even like sweet things."

"Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" Sasuke replied, mildly. "Tsunade said your blood pressure was dangerously high."

Sakura was surprised. "Pre-eclampsia?" She asked.

"Mild." Sasuke replied. "Naruto. Go. To. Bed."

Naruto looked angry, and about to argue, so Sakura put up her hands in an appeasing manner. "Please, Naruto, you really should. I'm a medic in training, you know. It's best."

"Argh!" Naruto yelled. "It's SO FUCKING BORING!" But he turned towards the door anyway. "Come and sit with me, Sakura."

"Ok."

She took her carrots and sat munching by the side of the bed while Naruto made a great show of untucking the neatly tucked sheets and rolling over in several different positions.

"You're really getting uncomfortable, huh?" She asked, gently.

Naruto stopped his fidgeting. "Naw. It's not that bad."

"You really are due any day now."

"Yeah. If nothing happens by Monday Tsunade wants to check me into the hospital.

"Are you.. uh.." Sakura paused. "Are you scared?"

Naruto looked at her in surprise. "No. I guess..." He paused. "Scared of what?"

"Uh… childbirth? Parenthood?"

"Oh," Naruto said. "Oh, yeah, I guess so. Sakura, you'll help out, right?"

"Yeah, of course."

He must really have been tired, Sakura thought, because he had drifted off to sleep almost in mid-conversation: talking to her about nonsense one minute and then suddenly quiet the next. Slowly she eased from her chair, moving quietly so as not to wake him. She was moving through the door when she heard a groan.

"Ugh… Sakura."

Quickly she returned to the bedside.

"What is it?"

Naruto clenched his teeth, and then looked up at her. "I just had the most awful cramp."

"Cramp?" She felt alarmed. "Do you think you might be…?"

Naruto looked at her in surprise, and then his eyes widened. "I dunno. I've never done this before, so…"

"What did Tsunade say to do? I'll go get Sasuke!"

"Wait, Sakura, it's alright… I already feel better, so…" But she was already heading for the door, yelling for Sasuke to come.

**xoxoxoxoxo**

"Well, here," Tsunade said. "This'll be your room."

"Wow…" Naruto gaped. "It looks a lot different than the hospital room I was in the last time I was here."

"Well, they try to make the maternity wards cheerful." Tsunade almost laughed at the way Sasuke was eyeing the pink and yellow bunnies that had been stenciled on the wall of Naruto's room: as if they might be dangerous, or have evil curse seals hidden behind them.

"Since it looks like your labor is just starting, we've got a couple of hours before we have to do anything. It's good you came in early, though, because – well, obviously your situation is unusual, so we want to keep you under close watch." Tsunade smiled kindly. She looked at Sakura and Sasuke. "Sakura, why don't you stay with Naruto for a while longer? And Sasuke, I hate to say this, but why don't you go home and get some rest?"

Sasuke looked at her in surprise.

"We'll send a messenger as soon as anything happens. It really will be a while. You can rest up…" The Hokage refrained from saying what she was thinking, which was that the Uchiha looked so keyed-up and nervous that she thought that he might make Naruto anxious too. Which was decidedly not good for him. "Come on, Sasuke, you only live five minutes away from the hospital… or" she said, seeing his stubborn expression, "we can set up a cot for you in here?"

He nodded, and Tsunade sighed. "Is that ok, Naruto?"

Naruto looked at him. "Yeah, sure, it's fine. I'm kind of feeling tired though, so I just wanna nap."

By midnight, Naruto's contractions were coming a little more quickly. He had spent most of the time in between contractions reading the manga that Sakura had brought him. Sasuke had spent the last several hours studying scrolls. Naruto was too distracted to notice that Sasuke had, in fact, read the same scroll four times in a row – once he had read it upside down for about ten minutes, without even noticing.

"Hey, Sasuke" Naruto called.

"What! What is it?"

Naruto looked at Sasuke's intense expression and tried not to laugh. "Uh, can you get me a little bit of water?"

"Sure." Sasuke practically stalked out of the room – and Naruto gave a sigh of relief. Sasuke's intensity was a little exhausting. Another contraction caught him and he tried to ride the pain, letting the sensation wash over him until it began to subside. Tsunade had said to call a nurse as soon as the contractions came more than… damn, how often was it? Once every how many minutes? Naruto shrugged. Doubtless Sasuke was keeping track of that.

Lazily he lay back on his pillow. The parasite was going to come out. How would that be? He regretted now that he had asked Tsunade not to tell him the gender, because perhaps that would have made the baby a little more real to him. Well, not that the baby wasn't real, at this point. More that he was still having a little trouble imagining what life with the baby was going to be like. During the last few weeks, Sasuke's (ok, it was his now too) home had become full of baby-type paraphernalia: a crib, a playpen, piles of neatly-folded little baby jumpers (and oh, hadn't they argued over the little Uchiha fans embroidered on the back) Baby diapers, baby bottles, baby pureed food (Naruto had tried it, it was pretty awful), baby formula, even though Tsunade was still telling him to breast-feed. Baby blankets. Baby pacifiers. Baby toys. Baby things Naruto hadn't even imagined existing until Sakura or Hinata or Ino or somebody suddenly dragged one over and told him he couldn't possible live without one. The baby, Naruto thought, already had more shit than he did. And it wasn't even born yet.

Though he had never spent much time with babies, he knew that it was going to be a lot of work. They cried, sometimes at odd times of night. Also, you had to change their diapers. When Naruto considered all the missions he'd done, it didn't seem that bad, though.

He knew he'd really love it. Sasuke too. But he still didn't know jack about raising a kid, and he did worry that they'd make mistakes.

"Don't worry, baby," He said, rubbing his stomach, reassuring himself, surely, more than the infant inside. "We will love you. And we'll take really good care of you, too. Sasuke'll be a really great dad, and we won't let anything bad ever happen…"

The room suddenly became a shade darker and Naruto looked towards the window. It was a full moon that night, and until a moment ago he had been able to see the stars when he looked out. But suddenly he could see nothing but darkness. Naruto shrugged. It must be getting cloudy. Now it was already almost 12 am, which meant that the baby would certainly be born tomorrow, which was April 1st… an April Fool's Day baby. Naruto snickered. How awesome.

Hadn't it been a while since Sasuke had left for that water?

Suddenly Naruto was gripped with a funny feeling, like that of ants crawling across his skin. He froze, and strained his eyes and ears, trying to sense everything very, very closely. But he couldn't hear anything.

Wait a minute. Nothing. He couldn't hear the drip of the water fountain across the hall, although it had been bothering him only a few minutes earlier. He couldn't hear the rubbery squeak of the medic's shoes in the hallway, either. And the faint night breeze, that had been causing the curtains to gently billow into the hospital room, was suddenly dead, the curtains hanging flat.

"Sasuke…?" He called, and he hated the way that his voice sounded quavering and uncertain.

Then another contraction hit him. Damn. They seemed to be lasting a little longer now, and surely they were coming a little faster. Naruto sweat, and clenched the bed sheets.

When he looked up, there were eyes.

His first thought was to yell at Sasuke to stop scaring him. But the eyes were the wrong color: bright, emerald green. Like Gaara's. And then Naruto saw that the eyes were attached to a shadowy body, a man dressed in dark mesh, a mask that covered every part of his face except the eyes.

Naruto felt his hackles rising. Just like a fox, the fine hair on the back of his neck stood up, and he felt the instinct to almost bare his teeth at this stranger, this intruder, who was in Naruto's own den, somewhere he was not supposed to be.

The stranger lifted a hand to his jaw, and pulled down the mesh mask.

"Itachi." He was glad that his voice didn't waver, that he sounded calm, and even superior, as he said the name. Itachi smirked, ever so slightly. Oh, that mouth was so like Sasuke's. Even the face. Even the build of the body.

But the eyes. Even when they had held the Sharingan, the eyes had never been Sasuke's eyes.

"Naruto…. kun?" The slight question at the end made Naruto want to growl out loud.

"Pathetic loser," Naruto said, quietly. "I'll rip your head off. What are you doing here?"

Swiftly Itachi closed the distance between them. Leaning over the bed, he ran a finger along Naruto's jaw, from the base of his ear to the tip of his chin.

"Pretty little thing," He said.

Naruto glared. "I defeated you once, Uchiha. I could do it again."

"Such an empty threat." Itachi took the chair that had been by the side of the bed and sat.

""Why are you here?" Naruto grit his teeth as he felt his stomach muscles clench, as another contraction hit him. He felt a hand in his hair, supporting his head – realized it was Itachi's and bit back a groan of pain.

Itachi calmly waited for the contraction to pass. "My brother called me back."

"What?" Naruto swore. 'He would never."

"And yet he did. What do you think, Naruto? It seems he chose his vendetta against me over his future with you." Itachi looked terribly calm. "Did you tell him you defeated me? Maybe that was why he betrayed you. Must have been hard, knowing his lover had accomplished something he himself could not… ah…" Itachi looked speculative as Naruto, angrily, wrenched his head away from Itachi's grasp. "You never told him."

From somewhere, as if they were inside of a cave, came the sound of a great thud that echoed around them. Itachi looked up.

"It seems my brother has discovered my barrier, and is now trying to enter." He produced a cloth, and Naruto could smell that it was drenched in some kind of chemical. "Breath deeply, little fox. I don't have much time. This will make your labor come more quickly."

Naruto tried to lift himself from the bed, but a firm arm drew him back down, holding him solidly against the mattress as the other hand pushed the cloth over his mouth and nose. Spluttering, he felt the muscles in his body tightening, and he grabbed Itachi's hand between his two and bit down as hard as he could.

Itachi laughed lightly. He pulled his now bleeding hand away, and used it to trace Naruto's brow. It left a streak of blood behind. Gently, Itachi bent down and kissed his cheek.

"You've given me a wonderful gift, Naruto. The eyes of an infant may be easier to transplant than those of an adult – and now that Sasuke is grown, I could not face him and take his Sharingan away so easily."

Naruto froze as another thump echoed around them, and then a third and a fourth. Then a wave of pain hit him and he was carried away, for a moment so distracted that he almost forgot that Itachi was standing beside him, and all the trouble he was in.

…when he regained control of himself, he felt the blade of a kunai at his throat, and hissed in anger. Sasuke was standing, only ten feet away, and Itachi seemed to be warning him away.

"I don't need your spouse, you know. Only your offspring."

"Come here and face me, you traitor!" Sasuke spat. But he didn't move, nonetheless.

"Foolish little brother…" Naruto glanced at Itachi and saw the way his eyes were gleaming.

"Those eyes…" Sasuke said.

"You see why it can't be a fair fight," Itachi murmured. "These have their own bloodline limit, but it's nothing to the Sharingan."

Naruto screamed. He screamed and screamed, and then, when he caught his breath, he yelled at Sasuke.

"Goddamnit! Hurry up and kick his ass!"

But Sasuke refused to move. He looked horrified, and then resolute. He put his hands to his side.

"I never thought of that," He said. "So you lost your Sharingan."

"Thanks to this one," Itachi said, clutching Naruto's hair and yanking his head back, for the first time violently.

"You want to take… the eyes." Sasuke said. "The baby's eyes."

"Yes."

"No."

Naruto watched as Sasuke deactivated his own sharingan, and then suddenly activated him. He brought a kunai from his belt and Naruto screamed again.

"No! No! No! Sasuke, don't listen to him! He'll kill all of us anyway, so don't do something stupid! You fucking idiot!"

But neither Sasuke nor Itachi seemed to be listening.

"What do you think?" Sasuke said, smoothly. "My sharingan for the child's? They may never develop, you know. Mine are already activated."

Itachi smiled. Damn, Naruto thought. Those Uchihas. The way they were talking, it might almost have been a business lunch. Except for an undercurrent of absolutely seriousness and killing intent; barely detectable.

"That would be… acceptable."

Another wave of pain washed over Naruto and he bit his lip before he began to scream again. Through his tearing eyes he could see Sasuke bringing the kunai towards his face. "Stop…" he moaned… and somehow, though he wasn't quite sure why, that did seem to stop Sasuke a little.

Itachi stopped too. For a moment, they both looked towards Naruto. "The head," Itachi said, reflectively. "It's crowning."

Naruto screamed and screamed and pushed and pushed, and as he did so he felt, suddenly, the red chakra of the fox beginning to rush from all the pores in his system. Though in the past it had surrounded his body, taking the shape of tails, now the tails seemed to be spinning together, creating a cocoon that turned like a giant rasengan, that pushed Itachi away as it expanded outward from Naruto's body.

Naruto panted and moaned. He grabbed the bars of the headboard to support himself, unable to do anything but what his body forced him to do by instinct. His body, the bed: the spinning orb of the Kitsune's chakra suddenly shielded anything within three feet of Naruto's body.

Outside of that sphere, Sasuke slowly lowered his kunai. Both brothers reassessed the situation instantly.

"It seems the tables have turned," Sasuke said. "I don't think you can reach Naruto now."

Itachi snarled. He performed a seal, and his green eyes blinked, horizontally rather than vertically: like the strange nictitating membrane of a cat. When the eyes re-opened, the pupils were ovals, rather than round.

With a sudden movement Sasuke rushed him.

Naruto tried to watch, and yet it was too difficult. "Sasuke," he murmured. He concentrated on what he could do.

**xoxoxoxoxo**

The two brothers went at eat other with kunai; shuriken and fists: the greater jutsu forgotten, it seemed, in the intensity of the moment. Sasuke slashed and Itachi was faster, but how could anything outpace the speed of his sharingan? And Itachi's sharingan were gone… which meant… which meant…

His first blow connected: just barely, and almost by accident. Itachi's leg twisted as Sasuke's heel broke the shinbone. The mark of a good shinobi: he spun back, not even indicating that that he had been hit or that anything was wrong.

And his hands moved into a seal, which Sasuke's eyes saw and memorized the pattern of: he didn't know the jutsu, but it must involve fire. Fire was Sasuke's element too.

The bodies flew together, and sprung apart. When Sasuke's back hit the wall, it caused the plaster of the hospital wall to crumble, revealing a pale chakra barrier behind which Sakura was pounding and screaming noiselessly, and Tsunade had closed her eyes and was engaged in some sort of complicated technique. Trying to break through the barrier. Neither Sasuke nor Itachi not Naruto noticed, each so caught up in what they were doing.

Sasuke lowered his head as a blast of hot air overtook him. Did Itachi really think that he could defeat Sasuke with a jutsu that involved fire? The barrier his brother had created limited his movement, and Sasuke pushed into a corner. The only way out was through the flame that Itachi had created, and behind that flame there must be…

Well, who said you couldn't fight fire with fire? There would be some nostalgia to defeating Itachi with an old technique, anyway. Sasuke inhaled…

Only to feel his lungs burning; somehow Itachi had done something to the air and it wasn't quite right. As he felt his head swimming he realized with a start what that something was: somehow the oxygen was being burned out of it.

Still he managed to start a small fire, pushing it in his brother's direction. He couldn't tell if the flame connected: it did set the hospital chair ablaze. Sasuke swore. He couldn't start another fire with this… and he was even having difficulty breathing.

But if that was the case, what was Itachi breathing, what was Naruto breathing? Would that weird ball of chakra protect Naruto or would he be at just as much risk of asphyxiation?

Sasuke steadied himself against the barrier wall, which flexed gently under his touch, almost as though it was made of rubber. Flexible things could be stronger than brittle ones, Sasuke thought, with a grimace. He pushed all the chakra he could into his left hand and suddenly swung at the barrier: with enough precision and force that even Tsunade would have been proud. A small hole opened –

-and with a gasp Sasuke jumped aside, as the fire in the room suddenly flared, rushing towards the hole in a funneling inferno –

of course, he thought. The damn oxygen. Of course the fire would be drawn to a source of oxygen… and his hand throbbed. Certainly it had just been burnt. Thankfully that had been the _left._

He saw Itachi then. They were arranged in a triangle: Sasuke, Itachi, and Naruto. But he couldn't spare a moment to look at Naruto. He heard a soft sound behind him and glanced back just in time to see the hole he had made in the barrier seamlessly closing up again.

Taking a guess as to the nature of the barrier, Sasuke pushed chakra into the soles of his feet and jumped into the air. Allowing his feet to hit the barrier he attempted to run along the wall – it was soft, like running in sand, and his feet sunk into it. It would only slow him down. Reaching Itachi, he had time to make a quick swipe with his kunai before his brother leapt away again. For Itachi, the barrier was firm, an easy surface to run on. Sasuke spat. A stupid trick. What was Itachi trying, just to delay the inevitable?

"Those replacement eyes of yours" he said, tauntingly. "You gonna show me what you can do with them?"

Itachi raised his eyebrows, delicately. "I still beat you in experience, brother. Don't get cocky."

Drawing a short sword, he rushed towards Naruto – what was he planning to do? – and plunged the blade, hard, into the chakra protecting the boy.

"And I know an awful lot about jinchuuriki…" Itachi drawled… "All that research as a part of Akatsuki…."

In response to the attack, the Kyuubi's chakra drew in, just for a moment, and then suddenly expanded outward, blowing outward in all directions –

-Sasuke crossed his hands over his face as the wave overcame him. Burning his hair and bringing the blades of his weapons to red-hot in an instant. But Itachi must have felt the same attack, even more strongly, since he had been closer to the chakra.

It seemed to Sasuke that the room had suddenly been saturated in chakra. Suddenly, his sharingan couldn't distinguish between Itachi's chakra and the fox's, which seemed to be everywhere. Even as the fox's chakra hit the barrier and seemed to be absorbed into it.

Itachi smiled. "How are those eyes working for you now?"

It was like, Sasuke realized, being inside a microwave. A goddamn microwave that radiated chakra inward from all directions. It was over-stimulating: painful, even. He found himself bringing his hands to his eyes without realizing he was doing it, and then closing them in order to take the pain away.

"I have a lot of experience fighting blind," Itachi said. "I don't suppose you do. Anyway, these eyes, I can keep open."

Sasuke waited for the blow to come. Once Itachi came even within a few feet of him, he would get a sense of his brother's body, and it's movement, and know how to attack. Foolish… he thought. What was Itachi playing at? This all seemed, in some way, to be an attempt to buy the older Uchiha some time.

He felt the air whistle to his left, swung and dodged, crouching low and swinging out with his right leg. Nothing connected. He opened one eye, just a crack, to see how things were going, and still found the chakra unbearable. Even without the sharingan it was unbearable.

"Do you know what they call these?" Itachi said. "Demon's eyes. Because I took them from a youkai."

Sasuke threw a shuriken, more to gauge his location from the sound of it hitting the wall than from any intention of hitting his brother. "When did you get so goddamn chatty, anyway?"  
Now Itachi chose not to answer. Sasuke swore inwardly. He wasn't sure if it was Itachi's tactics that had managed to get him on the defensive, or if it was because of some unresolved fear of Itachi that was now working to his disadvantage. Grabbing his knife, he ran in the direction his brother's voice had last been in, pulling together a chidori – again, the old ones were always best – before a gasp stopped him short.

"_Sasuke…"_

Swearing, he opened one eye again. Naruto was there. Sasuke had had his location carefully mapped out in the room, so there was no way he could have made a mistake and hit the blonde. But it seemed that the room had changed shape. And that was due to the nature of the damned barrier again. Tsunade, Sasuke thought, irrelevantly – how was it possible to be irrelevant even in the midst of a battle – Tsunade was gonna be mad. Her hospital was getting fucking destroyed.

The pain seemed a little less than before. Cautiously he opened the other eye.

The walls seemed to be bowing in a little bit now, towards the middle. Pinching the room into two sections: one containing Itachi and Naruto, and one in which Sasuke stood.

And his feet felt a little unsteady. As though he were standing on quicksand. As if…

With horror, Sasuke glanced around. The barrier wasn't a barrier, it was a goddamn bubble, and while Sasuke had had his eyes closed it had risen a dozen or so feet in the air, and was even now rising higher. And Sasuke's side of the bubble, it seemed, was quickly separating from Naruto's…

With a yell he opened his eyes wide, put all the power he could under his feet, and ran towards the barrier –

-one hand just made it through, and then the stupid bubble was closed around his wrist. Should have concentrated on disabling this goddamn thing in the first place, Sasuke thought. Itachi was eyeing his fist with distaste. And Sasuke's other hand, the one that was not trapped, was his damaged left.

All the chakra went into that left hand, even as his right began to feel crushed by the bubble. He punched into the barrier and, for his reward, made a hole the size of a grapefruit. Quickly closing again. He pulled his arm back to punch again, when suddenly a hand reached through the hole and grabbed him.

A rather bloody, feminine hand – though the nails were as bitten down as they had been when Naruto was in his boy form. Naruto coughed, rather weakly.

"I think," He said, - and Sasuke was not sure if the blonde was speaking to him, or to Itachi, "you had forgotten about us."

The chakra that came out from spun from Naruto's body then rushed out, and where it hit the barrier it began to bubble away, like melting plastic. Soon Sasuke's hand was freed, and the floor around them began to melt, and they were falling, falling downwards…

To be caught in net as soft as silk, that someone – Shino, Sasuke later learned – had used spiders to create for them.

Twenty feet isn't far to fall, and Sasuke didn't have a moment to look at Naruto as they tumbled. But when they nestled in the spider's net, his eyes refocused immediately.

The first thing he saw was Naruto's hand, still clutching Sasuke's wrist. Then his gaze traveled up the arm to the shoulder, and from the shoulder to the body and then to the face.

Half naked, bloody, and looking entirely exhausted. But holding something to her – to his – to her - chest. A small, wrinkled, pink little body. He caught a sight of black, fuzzy hair before Tsunade, Sakura and the other medical nins surrounded both mother and child. A triage medic, looking unimpressed, came and told Sasuke to wait and he would bandage his burnt hand.

Sasuke lay back in the net. For a moment he wanted to laugh. Then he didn't know what to feel. Then he brushed away the medic who was trying to wrap gauze around his fingers, and pulled himself up, and followed Tsunade and the other women.


	13. Part III: Chapter 12

_Ok, Thank you again to all my wonderful reviewers. People were really nice about the last chap despite it's many shortcomings. Again, I will try to rewrite it at some point, but maybe not for a while…_

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Naruto…" A voice was calling to him, rather gently… Naruto's first impression was that of soft fabric against his cheek. The next thing that came to him was a lemony scent, at first unidentifiable but then, as his mind cleared more and more, identifiable as the antiseptic of a hospital room.

His blue eyes opened groggily. Clear while orbs looked kindly back.

"Hinata…." Naruto groaned. His body felt like it had been pressed under a ton of stones, and that was saying a lot given how quickly it healed itself.

"Just rest…" A cool cloth was pressed against his forehead and Naruto leaned into the pleasant sensation. "Oh, no, don't do that…"

"Ooof." Clumsily he raised himself to a sitting position before Hinata could finish her protest.

A plain room, not decorated like the cute maternity ward. The maternity ward, Naruto guessed, was probably totally destroyed. This was just a regular hospital room. Near the door, however was a small basinet, which caught his attention.

He felt a stabbing pain behind his eyes. Groaning, he rubbed his head.

"Naruto-kun!"

He smiled ruefully. "I'm fine. Is that…?"

Hinata smiled. "Your daughter." She went over to the basinet and lifted a tiny baby – Naruto almost felt his heart stop, he thought, in that instant that he saw her. "Here she is," Hinata said, gently, placing her in Naruto's arms.

"Ah…" Naruto was momentarily speechless. She was tiny. Her head was covered in a fine aureole of black down, and her eyes, as she gazed up at him, were clear and blue. He looked at his baby, and smiled gently, and then he looked up at Hinata and grinned from ear to ear.

"Isn't she great?"

"Yeah. She's perfect."

Hinata was preparing to leave them like that – Tsunade had requested to be informed as soon as Naruto awoke – when Naruto stopped her.

"What about Sasuke?" His voiced sounded curiously guarded.

"Next door," Hinata said. "Sleeping."

"Ah." Naruto grimaced. "Hinata, can you hold the baby for a minute?"

"Sure," Hinata said, returning to the bed and taking the now lightly squirming child. "But… what…"

Groaning, Naruto swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up.

'No, Naruto-kun, wait!" She couldn't stop him with her hands full of baby, so hastily she returned the infant to its basinet. "Where are you going? What…?"

She followed him as he moved, slowly to the door and out to the hallway. "Which way?" He asked.

"Sasuke?" Hinata said, confused. "To the left, but…"

Naruto turned left and limped into the next room. Sasuke was sleeping, propped up on pillows in an identical hospital bed.

"Naruto-kun…" called Hinata. "What are you…"

Naruto climbed up on the bed, straddling Sasuke's legs. "Wake up, you bastard!" He yelled.

"Wait! Stop! Tsunade! Somebody!"

Black eyes opened slightly. "Naruto…?" Sasuke slurred, still half-asleep.

"I SAID, WAKE UP, YOU BASTARD!"

The black eyes widen slightly in surprise as Naruto pulled his arm back, and punched Sasuke in the face. Hinata flinched as she heard the bone crunch, and then she regained herself and rushed over.   
"Naruto, stop!"

Naruto was swinging wildly, seeming not to hear her. "You told him, didn't you! You told him our location, and everything, and… you bastard! How could you do such a thing! Sasuke, you… you…" Naruto bent over Sasuke's body, shaking, and then drew back in preparation to strike again.

"Come on, Naruto," Hinata screamed at him. "Come on, get down."

"How could you? You… bastard… and…"

Other medics, running to the sound of the commotion, were able to grab his wrists and pull Naruto away, still shaking and crying. Hinata looked first and him and then at Sasuke, not knowing which to go to.

She saw then that Sasuke's eyes, the only recognizable part of him as his face was so bloodied, followed Naruto's movement out of the room. People said it was difficult to read the emotion behind Hyuuga eyes, but Hinata had never had that experience herself. Sasuke, however, had often seemed a mystery to her: calm, implacable, and one hardly saw what was below the surface until it all came exploding out.

At that moment, though, Sasuke's eyes were as unguarded as those of a small child. Hinata felt herself grow more and more confused.

His heart was breaking.

**xoxoxoxoxo**

"Naruto, do you want to tell us why you attacked Sasuke?"

Naruto refused to look at Iruka. Finally the teacher sighed. "I understand if you don't want to talk about it, but whatever he did, it can't be that bad, right? You should just forgive him and…"

"No."

Iruka frowned. He had never heard his former pupil sounding so cold, so – unforgiving. Well, given the circumstances under which Naruto had attacked Sasuke, it obviously wasn't an ordinary spat. Still, what could Sasuke have done to make Naruto this angry?

"Iruka-sensei?"

"Yes, Naruto-kun,"

"Can I stay at your place for a while? Me and the baby?"

Iruka opened his mouth to argue. A part of him wanted to ask, 'is it really that bad? And 'does that really seem fair to Sasuke?' but, given Naruto's depressed expression, he held back his questions.

"Of course," He promised. "Any time."

Iruka took Naruto home and put him directly to bed.

Within only a few days, the blonde seemed to be feeling physically better. Despite this, he still wasn't quite normal. He spent most of the day sitting in the house, or in the garden, rocking his as-yet-unnamed infant, or napping drowsily. Naruto was – actually quiet, though he could show spurts of energy, though Iruka suspected mostly when he knew he was being watched. He almost seemed… depressed. And Iruka worried. He had never seen Naruto in such a state before, even when he cast him mind back over his memories of Naruto as a little child and remembered every bad thing that had ever happened to the blond that might have made him unhappy. This was entirely new. Naruto asked then begged Iruka to turn away all visitors, and, though he was taking good care of the baby, it seemed to be largely on autopilot, learning to change a diaper by looking at a diagram from a baby-book.

Sasuke had been discharged right after Naruto, but he didn't come by immediately. Iruka wondered why. Surely nothing could keep Sasuke away from Naruto, and from his child. The Uchiha's intensity was a little unnerving, but Iruka had seen, over Naruto's pregnancy, how much Sasuke loved him.

He didn't have to wonder for long, though. Finally, Sasuke came.

Naruto happened to be the one who answered the door. Sasuke looked at him, and Naruto resisted the urge to slam the door in his face. He didn't speak, but he glared at Sasuke, and the Uchiha looked steadily back. Even without speaking, they could sometimes communicate so well. Better, in fact, than when they tried to talk.

Sighing, Naruto opened the door a little wider, allowing Sasuke to come in.

"Iruka-sensei, can you leave us for awhile?"

The chuunin, who had come from the kitchen to see who was at the door, nodded.

"And… can you take the baby?"

Iruka sighed. By then he had given up on demanding explanations, so he simply allowed Naruto to bundle the newborn into a fleece outfit and then started off with her on a long walk around the village.

The swelling around Sasuke's eyes, the bridge of his nose, and his cheek was beginning to come down, but the color of them was still awful.

Naruto refused to speak first. He let Sasuke stand awkwardly in the living room for a moment. Then he walked to the back door, opening it to step out into Iruka's garden. After a pause Sasuke followed. Naruto had seated himself on one end of a low bench, and Sasuke sat on the other side of it.

"I'm sorry," He said.

Naruto didn't answer. Sasuke tried to collect his thoughts. He had been trying to think about what to say to Naruto for days, but every time he played the conversation out in his head, he got only as far as this initial apology. He couldn't guess what Naruto might say back. Maybe this was because he had never considered what might happen if Naruto ever discovered that he had used the boy's pregnancy to lure Itachi to the village. He had simply always, always believed that Naruto must never find out.

He began again. "I did it because…"

"I know why you did it," Naruto's sharp voice stopped him. "So don't bother explaining."

Sasuke nodded. Naruto probably did know. God, Naruto might know why Sasuke had done it better than Sasuke knew himself.

"I can't even ask for forgiveness," Sasuke said.

"But you will."

Sasuke bit his lip. "Whatever you want. If you want never to see me again, I'll disappear. I'll leave you the house, and money, if you want it…"

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

He shook his head in amazement. He had never heard Naruto's voice sounding sharp, or sarcastic, before. That wasn't Naruto.

But he had made Naruto like that.

"You'd like it if you could just leave, right? And chase Itachi? Heck, if you leave now, you can probably catch up to him."

Sasuke didn't answer for a long time.

"If you want," He said, eventually, "I'll leave, and promise never to pursue Itachi. I'll spend the rest of my life avoiding him."

Naruto looked at him in surprise. It occurred to him that he'd been talking as if in a dream, and hadn't been considering the implications of his words.

"No, I don't want that… I mean… I don't want to control you like that." He shivered. "Sasuke, you wouldn't really do that."

"I would."

"Shut up." Naruto reached down to pick up a leaf that had fallen on the grass. He twirled between his fingers slowly. "Sasuke, when you returned from Sound… did you know? I told myself I had brought you back. But I hadn't. You came back to Konoha yourself, but since that time I've seen, you didn't really hold any real attachment to this place."

Sasuke tried to say something, but Naruto kept speaking. "I know you probably feel differently now. But I'm telling you this, teme, because I want you to understand that… I'm not that strong. I also have... fantasies, like becoming Hokage, and another one was that I had brought you back."

"Becoming Hokage isn't a fantasy."

"No, but… ummm…." As Naruto struggled for words, a little light came into his face for the first time. It was the first moment Sasuke thought there might be hope.

"Tell me if I'm being an idiot, teme, but here's what I was thinking. I never did bring you back to Konoha before. In fact, you never came back. That's why you could do such a thing. I… I thought about telling Tsunade what happened. But I didn't want to. I thought – this was my chance to make you understand."

" So I forgive you." He paused. "As long as you understand why what you did was wrong. Even though you screwed up big time."

Sasuke didn't answer right away, and Naruto grew nervous and began to talk again. "But if you don't understand why, or if you screw up again, it's finished."

"I won't," Sasuke said, "make that kind of mistake again. I've lost my desire to make it."

Naruto nodded. "Good." He said. "Then I've brought you back."

He smiled, rather sheepishly, though Sasuke thought it looked rather forced.

"Thank you," Sasuke whispered.

"You're welcome," Naruto whispered rather tiredly back. He looked out into the garden. "You know, I hadn't decided whether or not I was going to forgive you, until just now."

Sasuke nodded. A breeze passed through by, causing a tree at the edge of the garden to drop a few more leaves. They swayed gently downward, finally coming to float on the edge of Iruka's little pond.

He was surprised when Naruto stood up, and walked to the other side of the pond, until he was behind the tree and Sasuke couldn't see him well.

He wondered whether it was best to leave the blonde to himself, or to follow. He waited a few minutes, until he began to feel anxious. Then he stood himself and went over to the tree.

Naruto was sitting against the trunk. His knees were pulled close to his chest. Sasuke saw that his eyes were red, and wondered if Naruto had been crying, or close to crying.

Naruto looked up at him accusingly. Sasuke wondered what to say.

'That was really hard to do."

Naruto said it so quietly that Sasuke almost didn't hear. He couldn't reply, but he wondered what it meant.

In an odd way, he was almost glad to see that he had caused Naruto so much pain.

Because, Naruto seemed to bounce back from so many insults, almost untouched, didn't he?

And so, if Sasuke was the hardest for Naruto to forgive, did that also mean was he was the one Naruto loved most?

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

Naruto followed Sasuke out onto the doorstep.

"So, what happens now?" Sasuke said, cautiously.

Naruto frowned. "I don't wanna be like some confused newlywed bride who goes crying home to my Momma every time we have a fight."

Sasuke smirked. "Is Iruka your mother, then?"

"Yeah, well… OW!" Naruto rubbed his head. "How'd you sneak up like that, Iruka-sensei???"

"You were just distracted," the chuunin said, firmly. "Naruto, what were you saying just now?"

"My mentor," Naruto said, watching Iruka's expression. He tended to forget that Iruka could be as tough as nails (it came from teaching elementary school) and was not, strictly speaking, someone he wanted to piss off. "My very masculine, manly, ummm.. ."

"That's better," Iruka said, firmly. "You're in no position to make cracks anyway. Take your child. She needs changing."

"_Iruka…_." Naruto whined. Iruka looked at his face in surprise. Surely Naruto seemed more animated then he had in days. And the reason for that must be the dark haired prodigy standing next to them.

"I can do it," Sasuke said, mildly.

Both Iruka and Naruto looked at him in surprise.

"Really?" Naruto gaped. "No way! Who would've thought!"

"Oh? Do you want to be the one changing all the diapers, then?"

Sasuke went back into the house, brushing by Naruto as he did so. Naruto frowned.

"Pompous ass."

Iruka smiled, but didn't say anything. He was glad to see that they were getting along better, though he didn't miss Naruto's troubled glance as he followed Sasuke back into the house.

**xoxoxoxoxo**

The next morning, they went to the Hokage's office, to formally sign their baby's name into the birth registry of the village.

It was Tsunade's first time seeing Naruto and Sasuke together since Naruto had attacked Sasuke at the hospital.

At that time she hadn't been sure what was going on between them, but seeing them together with their little daughter, her worries began to dissipate.

Both Sasuke and Naruto were clearly smitten.

Babies. They were one of the best parts of being a medic, and one of the things Tsunade would never, ever, get tired of, no matter how old she got or how many years she worked. Even in the last few months of Naruto's pregnancy, she had never, ever, seen Naruto and Sasuke spend more than ten minutes in the same room with each other without arguing, or at least without Naruto being noisy.

But now the two of them seemed perfectly at peace with each other, standing over the tiny basinet where their daughter lay. She was sleeping quietly, and Naruto and Sasuke were watching her, but so intently that Tsunade wasn't even sure they had heard her enter the room. She couldn't help smiling. New parents. They looked almost afraid to breath.

She coughed, to introduce herself, and Sasuke looked up and nodded to her. Naruto, however, continued gazing at the baby.

"I came to let you know," she said. "This is the last of the stuff I need you guys to sign. She's looking tired, so after this you can take her home."

Naruto looked up then. "Baa-chan!" He said. "That's great." He looked at the baby. "Hey, baby, isn't that great!"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Shush. You'll wake her."

Naruto looked surprised, and then annoyed. "I won't! I was talking real quiet!"

Tsunade felt her temples beginning to throb, just a little. Take back whatever she had just been thinking. "Have you decided what you'll name her?"

They looked at each other. "We had been thinking about Hikari, if it was a girl…" Sasuke said, eventually. Naruto nodded.

Thank God they were in agreement.

"Ok," Tsunade said. "Then I can finish filling out the birth certificate."

"Can I see?"

Tsunade handed the piece of paper over to Naruto.

"Hey, look at her cute little footprint!" Naruto said, tracing it with his finger. His lips moved slightly as he read the complicated kanji. "Hey, wait a minute."

"What is it?" Tsunade looked at him.

"Hey… um… Baa-chan… can we talk, um, outside?"

"Sure, Naruto." They moved into the hallway. Sasuke considered following, but then decided in favor of staying by his daughter's bed.

For a moment he heard Tsunade and Naruto's soft voices, and then Naruto was suddenly yelling.

"WAIT A MINUTE! BABA! WHY DOES SHE GET SASUKE'S FAMILY NAME???"

Sasuke might have looked innocent, sitting next to his baby daughter, but someone looking very closely would have detected a tiny smirk.

Out in the hallway, Tsunade was trying to calm Naruto.  
"It's not really your choice, Naruto… she's an Uchiha… Konoha law demands that, with all the bloodline limits, the name of the family with the limit be kept – it's tradition."

"_Tradition_!?!" Naruto yelled. "What the hell is that?"

Uchiha Hikari opened her very blue eyes and yawned widely. Smiling, Sasuke let her tiny fingers wrap around his pinkie.

After a few more minutes of yelling, Naruto stomped back into the room.

"You knew, did you?" He accused Sasuke roughly.

Sasuke's smirk grew a little bit wider, but he didn't respond.

Tsunade left Naruto glaring and went down the staircase, making a beeline away from the hospital where she had seen Naruto and Sasuke and back towards the Hokage's office. She had officially retired as a doctor, but her skills seemed to be needed so frequently that she was practically working two full time jobs, dividing her time between the two places. No one seemed to appreciate what a heavy workload that was! Tsunade sighed to herself. Luckily Shizune was there to keep track of the paperwork.

She settled back into her chair just as the Anbu on guard announced Shikamaru's presence.

"Come in," She called.

The young jounin stood patiently in front of her desk, giving Tsunade time to rummage in her draw for a scroll and paper before asking him to begin his report.

"We followed Itachi to the border of Konoha forest," he said, impassively – Shikamaru often seemed impassive, but he always watched intently. Tsunade had come to appreciate those sharp eyes. "At that point, a fight broke out as our team attempted to halt his progress before he left our territory and we lost the advantage."

Tsunade waited. "I haven't heard of any new admittances to the hospital this morning, so am I to believe all went well?"

Shikarmaru sighed. "We failed to apprehend the fugitive, but everyone came out of it more or less all right. Chouji had a broken arm but I think Sakura has already set it."

Tsunade crossed her hands under her chin, and considered. "Do you think we've seen the last of him?"

Shikamaru only looked at her. His eyes weren't unkind, but something about his expression seemed to indicate he thought the question foolish. "… No." He said, at length.

Tsunade sighed. Well, that was what being the Hokage was, anyway. There was always danger lurking on the horizon. Sasuke didn't seem likely to dash off to chase his brother, at least not right at this particular moment. All they could do was appreciate the lull.


	14. Part III: Chapter 13

_Hey! How exciting is this! I got all the way through this chapter and then I was so close to the end that I finally finished this dmn thing off! Last 2 chapters at once! Yay! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone who read and offered encouragement. Seriously, this was my first attempt at writing a slightly longer story. It's would have been really hard to keep my momentum up without people reviewing. I'm going to try to be a good reader in the future and review lots. _

**xoxoxoxoxo**

Naruto and Hikari came home with Sasuke, home to a casserole that Sakura and Lee had made waiting for them; it's lovely warm smell filling the house as soon as they reheated it in the oven. The next few days their home was filled with people: laughter, homemade meals from all the girls, and Hikari-chan being passed from person to person like a prize ham at a county fair. The little girl was very good-natured: she slept a good deal, and when she was awake hardly ever cried: instead preferring to look around the room with more alertness than one might expect in an infant only a few days old- though Sakura swore that babies of that age couldn't even see clearly more than a few inches in front of their faces.

It was more visitors, Sasuke imagined, than the house had seen in thirty or forty years; especially since his parents had always been quiet and disliked a lot of company. He had always believed himself to dislike visitors, but suddenly all the noise didn't seem so bad: it was nice to see Hikari being fussed over, and to see Naruto laughing in a circle of so many good friends.

"How much did she weight, again?"

and.. "oh, look at those blue eyes. Definitely yours, Naruto…"

"Those dimples! She's so precious, Sasuke, you're gonna be beating the boys off with a stick in a few years, just wait and see…"

"Look at that little smile!"

Iruka came by every day for at least an hour or two after school, to help tidy up about the house and help with other things.

Kakashi came by and looked at Hikari-chan uneasily, finally picking her up in much the same manner one normally handled a potentially active grenade. The baby responded with coos and drooling. Gai came by and managed to defeat his eternal rival almost immediately, in the proud ninja field activities of diaper-changing and playpen assembly.

Jiraya visited bringing an order of Ichikaru's ramen which was well appreciated, only to wear out his welcome almost immediately by mentioning something inappropriate about, how nice it would be to visit in fifteen or sixteen years. Naruto blinked, but by the time he had figured out the implications of that statement, and started yelling, Sasuke had already unceremoniously shown the Pervert-sennin the door.

To Sasuke, it seemed like the warm home he had never had: a rather perfect arrangement even better than his dreams: family, friends, happiness: a perfect environment in which to raise his daughter, though perhaps they were still not things he believed held so much importance to himself. He might have been a little giddy, surrounded by so much pleasant activity, which could have been excuse for not attaching so much importance to the fact that Naruto's own reaction to all the fuss hadn't been quite as whole-heartedly postive.

He hardly noticed when Naruto, under the excuse of wanting to take a long walk one day, asked Sasuke and Iruka to watch the baby for a while, and slipped away from the Uchiha part of town.

As soon as he reached the main street, Naruto turned and made a beeline for the Hokage's office. Once there he managed to sweet-talk Shizune into giving him an immediate audience with Tsunade instead of being forced to wait. He was, after all one of their favorites.

Tsunade was rather surprised to see him visiting her so soon after taking Hikari home. But Naruto's expression rather suggested that he had wanted to talk in private. Neither was the subject of his conversation about food, or sleeping habits, or any of the other million questions he had been coming around to get answers too ever since his daughter was born. Tsunade was happy to answer those. She had even been happy to come over to the Uchiha compound to try her hand at assembling that damn playpen that no one seemed quite able to jam properly together.

"It hasn't even been a full week yet, Naruto," she said, frowning. "Are you sure you want to go back to being a man? Did you think about what I said about the breast-feeding?"

"I know, Baa-san," Naruto whined, "But I tried breast-feeding and I _hate _it, it feels really weird. And Sasuke loves to watch me do it, I think it makes him feel all… paternal…"

Tsunade bit back a laugh. "Is that really so bad? Anyway, I'm sorry, Naruto, but it really is best for the baby, and…"

She was surprised when Naruto stood up and slammed his hand down on her desk.

"No! Ba-chan, you really don't understand! I know it's better for Hikari-chan, but…"

To Tsunade's horror, his eyes began to well up with tears. Heavily he sat down again. "I know, but I feel like I'm gonna go crazy if I've gotta stay in this form another minute! It's like… it's like…" he struggled. "Hinata came over yesterday with a knitting pattern. A freaking knitting pattern! She used to have a crush on me, ya know? And now she wants us to knit booties together!" He looked at the Hokage with big, round blue eyes. "Baba, I'm a guy, remember! And it's like everybody's already forgotten that!"

"Is this about… Sasuke?" Tsunade asked carefully.

"Yes! No! I mean, not him more than anybody else. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe him more than everybody else." He stood up, looked around Tsunade's empty office, and then sat down again.

"I know I had a baby. And that's bound to give anyone a little bit of gender dysphoria. But it's like everyone's forgotting the real me. I mean, I felt that way during the pregnancy too, but there was nothing to do about it, right? And now… now that I know I can go back, it's like… it's like… every time somebody looks at my boobs, or treats me like a girl… I feel like I'm losing myself. So."

He looked at her miserably. "I really thought about it. If I feel like I'm going crazy like this, that can't be good for Hikari-chan either, right? I mean, she deserves to hate two Dads," he emphasized the word, "who are sane."

Tsunade nodded slowly. "I'm sorry, Naruto. I didn't think of it like that before. Yosh!" She banged her hands on the desk. "I understand. Let's do it!"

Belatedly, a thought occurred to her.

"Have you talked about this with Sasuke yet?"

**xoxoxoxooxo**

Sasuke heard the door open quietly and then close before Naruto came into the room. Iruka had gone for the day and Hikari was asleep on a blanket.

"Where have you been?" He asked. "You said you were going for a walk, but that was over three hours ago."

Naruto looked at him . "Sorry?" He said, sounding confused. "I just went to talk to Tsunade."

Sasuke looked at him and sighed. "You don't need to apologize. I just wondered where you went."

Naruto shrugged. "After I talked with Tsunade I went to the training fields, and then I came back here." He moved towards the hallway, leading back into the bedroom. Sasuke paused, decided that Hikari-chan was safe on the floor, and then followed Naruto.

Pulling off his t-shirt, Naruto went over to his dresser and rummaged for another one. Naruto had a lot of black t-shirts, Sasuke had realized. Almost as many as he had orange pants.

Naruto's voice was muffled as he pulled the clean shirt over his head. "It's my first time breaking a serious sweat since I found out I was pregnant. Man, Sasuke, it felt good. My boobs were flying around all over the place, though. I dunno how the girls manage it."

Sasuke smirked. "Lots of binding, I guess." Naruto's breasts really had gotten very big since he was breast-feeding. He found himself examining the shape of them, through Naruto's t-shirt, and was slightly distracted when the girl's voice called him back to reality.

"Sasuke." Naruto paused. "I dunno how you're gonna feel about this, but Tsunade's gonna do the jutsu tomorrow to turn me back into a guy."

"Huh?"

"Ooh, now your Uchiha jaw is hanging open." Naruto rubbed the back of his head, which he always did when he was embarrassed. "Now that the kid's born there's not much reason to stay like this, and frankly I'm getting pretty sick of it, so…"

Sasuke nodded. "That sounds reasonable."

It was Naruto's turn to let his jaw drop. He quickly clapped it shut again. "Really? It's ok? I kinda thought we were gonna have a fight about this, or…"

"It's your body, after all," Sasuke said. "It's perfectly reasonable. And it's not like it's really my place to interfere."

"Uhh… right," Naruto said. "Exactly what I was gonna say. Ok, then."

He paused. "Once I get my back to my old self, do you still want me to stay here? I was thinking you'd probably wanna be close to Hikari-chan, but I could start paying you rent… or… uh…" He stopped as he saw Sasuke's expression beginning to turn dangerous.

"Is that what you were trying to say?" Sasuke growled.

"Well, yeah, because, you know… back to the old… uh… daily grind… and… uh…" growing more and more nervous as he watched Sasuke, Naruto's voice began to trail off. Sasuke was starting to look really angry.

Sasuke was, in fact, currently considering the option of kissing Naruto, really hard, just to shut him up. He was leaning against it because, in real life, such things never turned out as good as they did in the films. Still, it was tempting.

"What are you getting so pissy for, anyway?" Naruto finally ended.

"Dobe, shut up!" Sasuke said.

Realizing that they were both beginning to raise their voices, Sasuke and Naruto both cast a guilty glance in the direction of the living room where Hikari was sleeping. Hearing nothing but the sound of her quiet breath, Sasuke began again.

"Dobe, haven't we been through this? I thought we were together, right?"

"I'm just saying! Geez! I understand if you don't wanna be with me once I'm a guy again!"

Sasuke glared. "Is it me who doesn't want to be with a guy, or is it you? I'm the one who said I liked you as a boy. Me, remember?" His voice was starting to rise again. "I want to be with you as a guy! Both of us as guys! I wanna do you as a guy, and.. uh…" he stopped, awkwardly, as he saw how red Naruto's face had suddenly gotten.

Without speaking the blonde rushed past him, out the bedroom door. Sasuke stood as Naruto's footsteps stomped down the hall, through the living room – in a moment the front door would slam, and….

No, wait a minute. The stomps were coming back again.

"What the fuck is with you?" Naruto yelled. "Teme! You aren't gonna chase me, or anything?"

Saske blinked and then yelled back. "Did you want me to chase you?"

"NO! I don't wanna be chased like I'm some fucking, pathetic girl who doesn't know what she wants and…"

From the other room, a thin wail brought them back to reality with a crash. Grimacing with frustration, Naruto went back to the living room and Sasuke followed. Swooping down to pick Hikari up and pull her to his chest, Naruto patted her back and tried to calm the screaming baby.

"Yosh, yosh… it's ok now… sorry we were being loud…" Naruto brought Hikari's forehead to his lips and kissed it gently. "Good girl, good girl. Everything's ok…"

He saw Sasuke looking at him. He glared back, angry again for just a moment, and sighed.

"We'll talk about it later, ok?'

**xoxoxoxoxo**

"But what if I'm not.. uh… attracted to him anymore after this?"

Sakura was on the verge of pulling her hair out. Yes, she loved Naruto. Yes, she felt bad for trying to keep her teammates apart in the past. But this was just the sort of disaster anyone with half a mind could have seen coming. And why did _she _have to be the one to talk Naruto through his romantic crisis?

She knew why, because Naruto, in his characteristically blunt, somewhat unintentionally rude way, had laid it out for her:  
"I can't talk to Baa-san about it, that would just be weird, and Iruka gets all red when anything comes up about sex, and Kakashi or Pervert-sennin – Eww, they'd probably say something awful… and Sai doesn't know jack about relationships and Kiba would laugh his ass off and I know you know lots and lots and lots, Sakura, so _puhleeze_ I really need your advice."

Inner Sakura was ranting and raving _– I don't wanna know this stuff! why do I have to be the one to listen to this?_ Outward Sakura, however, nodded kindly and promised to help in any way she could.

"You know, Naruto…" She said, after listening to all his concerns, "You won't really know until you try. Right?"

Naruto looked at her doubtfully. Since being in his girl form with all that long hair, he had developed the habit of twisting one ponytail around his finger when he thought. It was such a cutsy gesture that it made Sakura want to throw up, but she was sure Naruto didn't realize how he appeared when he was doing it. If he had, he would have been horrified and stopped right away.

Anyway, Naruto's face was getting really red. "You mean you think I should… uh…"

"Yeah?" Sakura prompted.

"I mean… uh…" Naruto's voice dropped to a whisper.

"Look," she said, trying to be sensible. "You know other guys in gay relationships, right?"

"Right…"

"And you don't think its wrong and amoral or anti-religious or anything like that…"

"No!" Naruto said, more forcefully. "I think it's fine… if… uh…" his face seemed to take on an even deeper shade of red…"

"And even if you don't like it all that much the first time… uh…" Sakura took a deep breath, and began to dispel the kind of nuggets of wisdom that girls generally gain through exposure to indecent comic books. "_ItmightnotfeelthatgreatthefirsttimebutafterallitsjustsexualstimulationoftheprostateandthatoughttofeelgoodtoanybodyespeciallyonceyourbodygetsusedtoititllprobablyfeelbettertoosoandafteralllovehasnogenderreallyImeanandwhatisaromanticrelationshipanywaybutjusalovingrelationshippwithsexthrowninsoIthinksinceyouandSasukereallyloveeachotherit'lldefinitelybefine_."

Then she had to stop for a breath.

Naruto looked at her doubtfully. Then he began to nod.

"Ok, Sakura, I guess you're right…"

Sakura nodded reassuringly. "Of course I'm right."

"There's just one thing, though…" Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"What is it?"

"You kind of sound like you're assuming," he coughed," that I'm gonna be on the bottom."

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Damn, Baba, why do they all have to be here?" Naruto complained.

Tsunade, the fifth Hokage of Konohagure village, smiled at him beautifically. "Naruto-kun, haven't we been through this before? Hinata and Sakura are here because it is beneficial to their training. Shizune is here to assist me."

"Fine," Naruto griped. "But what about _them?_"

Lined up against the back wall was Ino, Ten-Ten, Rock Lee, Sai, Iruka and Sasuke. Each looked at him defensively.

"I'm offering moral support," Ino said, challengingly.

"I as well!" Rock Lee said, punching his fist in the air.

"Me too…" Ten Ten mumbled.

"I'm just curious to see if you're finally going to grow a dick."

"I wanted to be here, in case, ah..."

Sasuke just looked at Naruto and smirked. For some reason that smirk made Naruto more nervous about Sasuke than about the rest of the on-lookers put together.

"AHHHHHH!!!!" He screamed. "Get out get out get out!"

"Now Naruto..."

"Naruto-kun…"

"Brat" Tsunade said. "This is my office, so we get to do things my way. Unless you don't want my help at all."

Naruto sulked.

"What's that?"  
"Fine…" he mumbled.

"Good then!" Tsunade smiled, freakily cheerful. Naruto heard her say, under her breath, "serves you right for calling me an old bag…"

He stripped his shirt off and stepped into the middle of the circle Tsunade had prepared using special ink, sand, a minimal amount of Naruto's blood, and a couple of 'special ingredients' she didn't specify in her long-winded explanation of how difficult the jutsu had been to set up. (One had been semen, required for 'maleness', Tsunade had debated teasing Naruto about this but decided against it because he doubtless would have asked her who she had got it from.)

"You didn't use all this fancy stuff before," Naruto said, suspiciously.

"Well, this time I wanted a little extra insurance." Tsunade snapped. "Do you have a problem with that?"  
She stepped with him into the center of the circle, and began to concentrate. First it was necessary that she block out the sounds of the room around her: everyone was required to be very quiet, but she had to be totally focused inward, which meant blocking the sounds of their breath, the soft shuffle of their feet on the floor, and even the faint sounds drifting in the window from the street below. Tsunade entered a meditative trance, and then began to focus on the chakra of her body. Every vein, every flow: she felt it ebbing and flowing, like blood in her veins or the movement of the tides, flowing in it's naturally occurring system of rivers and streams.

Now for the difficult part: even after having doing this a thousand times before, a ninja could still make a mistake.

She built a dam, slicing through an arterial flow of chakra; and felt the power within her surge and roll as it hit that barrier and was forced back on itself. Then she quickly constructed a second damn, and a third, until all the major chakra of her body was being forced, at extreme pressure, up through her arms and into the chakra-points at the center of her two palms.

With a shout, she yelled the incantations of the jutsu, and pressed her palms against Naruto's chest. Instantly her chakra jumped up, surrounding him, and for an instant she saw the Kyuubi's chakra beginning to rise. Then Naruto took control, struggling with the fox's chakra until it began to subside, allowing Tsunade's to flow over him.

Tsunade stood back, ready to receive congratulations, and this time everyone began giving them to her, all at once.

"Wow!"

"That was amazing!"

"You did it, Hokage!"

"He's really a boy again!"

The first thing Naruto did was put his hands on his chest, checking for breasts. The second thing he did was to grab his crotch.

"Yatta!" He yelled. "Baba! You did it! You're a genius! I'm a guy again! I'm a guy," He started to do a little dance around the room. "A guy again! A guy… again!"  
"Glad you appreciate my talent," Tsunade said, She allowed everyone to continue fawning over her, which they did, appreciatively, for a good ten or fifteen minutes. It could have gone on a little longer, she thought, disappointedly, but soon they were excusing themselves to get back to missions or to school or other daily assignments. Well, it wasn't as if anyone but a medical ninja could possibly appreciate the difficulty of what she had done, anyway.

Naruto and Sasuke had left Hikari with Ino. The blonde smiled to them as they entered her parent's shop. Hikari was lying on a blanket on the floor, surrounding by small white petals, and Ino knelt next to her, trying, it seemed, to make a small tiara out of flowers. As Naruto watched the stem of one of the pieces of crown split, and Ino groaned.

"Shikamaru!" Naruto said. "I didn't know you were here!"

The Shadow-User came into the room from the back of the shop. "Oh!" He said. "You finally got your body back! Congratulations!"

"Yeah!" Naruto agreed, happily. He knelt down and picked up his daughter. "Thank you for watching her, Ino." He laughed as Hikari sneezed softly.

On the way home, they stopped at the grocery store, picking up several containers of formula for the coming days. Naruto noticed that Sasuke carefully avoided saying anything, as they paid for the stuff and began heading back towards the Uchiha quarter.

_Maybe he's afraid of making me feel guilty…_ Naruto wondered. He looked down at Hikari, who was prone against his chest, resting in a snuggli. Her tiny fist opened and closed against his chest, almost where his breast had been. He wondered if she knew he was the same person. Would she be upset, thinking that her mother had disappeared? He felt a pang of guilt.

Feeling Sasuke's eyes on him, he looked up.

"It's alright," Sasuke said, briefly. "She knows."

Naruto felt his face growing red. "How do you know that's what I was thinking about, anyway?"

Sasuke shrugged. "We're here," He said, instead, inserting his key into the front door lock.

Naruto considered arguing, but it was probably better to let the conversation die. Looking down, he saw that Hikari had fallen asleep, and moved to lay her down in her crib. Though they had a bedroom prepared for her, the crib had been set up in the living room, and for some reason Sasuke hadn't yet gotten around to moving it. Naruto thought that he sort of preferred it that way. Though they had to be quiet and tiptoe around when she was sleeping, it was nice to be able to keep an eye on her while she was sleeping. Anyway, whenever they wanted to talk or make noise or something, they could always go into the bedroom…

That errant thought caused him to look at Sasuke again. Make a lot of noise _or something…_

Sasuke went into the kitchen and Naruto followed him. Sasuke opened the cabinet and started stacking the formula they had bought. Naruto watched his back, grateful that Sasuke wouldn't be able to see him watching him. Sasuke had a nice back… the nape of his neck was nice too… especially the place where the muscles connected to his shoulder blades.

Naruto shook his head as if he was a dog drying himself off. Sure, if someone told him Sasuke was good looking, he could understand that. He could tell if a guy was good-looking, or if he was average looking or even ugly – you didn't have to be attracted to someone to think that they were attractive or not.

But he did think Sasuke was just good-looking, didn't he? He'd be totally fooling himself if he didn't admit it. Was it since he was a girl that he'd begun to feel that way? Or had he felt that way since long before, but never - he shook his head again, trying to think it out – never realized it? Maybe he had never recognized the attraction because he'd been too naïve – after all, Sasuke was the first person – boyfriend, relationship, _whatever_, that he'd ever had.

Or maybe, looking at Sasuke now, he was only remembering the attraction he had felt as a female.

How was he going to know, unless they did something?

Sasuke finished putting away the dishes, and, taking a knife from a drawer, turned to sit down at the table next to Naruto. He took an orange from the bowl of fruit between them and began to peel it.

Naruto was avoiding looking at him, his face shielded by his hands as his gazed out the window. Inwardly, Sasuke winced. Was Naruto still upset with him about what he had done, his betrayal to Itachi? There was no way Sasuke could blame him, though Sasuke had hoped…

They hadn't slept together since Naruto and Hikari had come home. Sasuke had been afraid to make the first move: first of all, Naruto had just given birth, and Sasuke had _no idea_ how that worked. And secondly, given that he'd screwed up so badly… he was lucky Naruto had forgiven him, and, if the blonde wanted time, he was in no position to insist.

Now Naruto was a guy… _a guy, a guy, a guy!_ Inner Sasuke chanted with glee…. But Outer Sasuke was more cautious. They hadn't really resolved their disagreement from the other day, so he had no idea how Naruto felt about the idea of sex as men.

It was probably best to wait, and let the blonde make the first move.


	15. Part III: Chapter 14

_**Hey boys and girls. I put up 2 chapters just now. Go back and read the one before this first!!!**_

_**Thx, zsuzsi**_

Three days later, and Sasuke was starting to get a little confused.

First of all, he'd been careful to be nothing but a gentleman to Naruto since the gender switchback. No funny business (no matter how tempting); nothing to make Naruto freak out or to start them fighting again.

Things should have been at least smooth, right?

Instead, Naruto was, if anything, even weirder than usual. Usually he did a pretty good impression of a bull in a china shop, but these days he was behaving more like a skittish calf. Just now, while Sasuke was watching television – they had finally moved Hikari's crib to her bedroom, which meant he could watch tv in the evenings again - Naruto had come over and sat right next to him; which Sasuke thought was a good sign – until he had reached for the remote, which had startled Naruto so badly that the boy had jumped up from his teeth, looked at Sasuke angrily, and then stormed out of the room.

Then, a few minutes later, he had come back: topless, this time, and slouched on the couch next to Sasuke again. Sasuke tried to keep his eyes carefully trained on the television set, but the temptation to glance at Naruto's chest was just to great. He glanced over, and caught Naruto's eyes on him.

Sasuke began to feel pissed off. _Well, he knows how I feel, so if he prances around with no shirt on, can he really blame me for wanting to look?_ With that thought in mind, he caught Naruto's gaze, and looked challengingly back.

To his surprise Naruto blushed. And the blush caused Sasuke to catch his breath. If Naruto hadn't wanted him to look, then he would have been starting to get angry right about now. Instead, he was blushing… which meant that…

Naruto was doing it on purpose?

Sasuke couldn't help but smirk a little, feeling inwardly pleased. His mind was torn between being straightforward, or playing with the whiskered boy a little bit first. It was tempting to mess with Naruto, but, on the other hand, this seemed like a good chance to improve their relationship: and Sasuke didn't get many of those.

He had waited to long, gazing at Naruto as he considered his options. Naruto had caught his expression and was getting annoyed: probably more annoyed than usual, because he was embarrassed. He began to stand up again.

And stopped as Sasuke grabbed his wrist.

"Wait," the dark-haired boy said, huskily. "Hikari's asleep, right? This is a good opportunity, so…"

"A good opportunity to do what, jerk?" Naruto said, carelessly, trying to pull himself away from the Uchiha. That led to a strong, unexpected tug on his arm, that pulled him back down onto the couch, almost in Sasuke's lap.

Sasuke growled softly. "Don't play dumb."

Naruto turned red. "Yeah, what am I supposed to think, you jerk? I haven't done this before, and I kind of thought you would… mmph…"

His voice trailed off as Sasuke kissed him, beginning on his mouth but then shifting to Naruto's shoulder and neck. Naruto fought off the urge to say something stupid, to relieve the embarrassment he was feeling by starting a fight, or anything to get he and Sasuke onto more familiar ground.

He felt Sasuke's hand on his nipple, and responded with a squeak. Sasuke's hand toyed with the nipple, pushing it back and forth with a finger and then squeezing as he captured it between two digits. "Uh.." Naruto moaned, as the squeezing grew almost painful. "Sasuke…"

"You want this too, right?"

By way of an answer, Naruto ran his hand along Sasuke's chin, causing the raven to look up. Naruto kissed him suddenly, deeply, and was pleased when he was rewarded with a moan. Their tongues battled for dominance, before Sasuke, more experienced, began to take control of the kiss, and Naruto felt himself giving in spite of himself…

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

He woke in the very early morning to the sound of Hikari-chan's wailing. It was very quickly becoming instinct: Naruto could get up, sooth Hikari, feed Hikari, walk Hikari back to sleep and then return to bed himself, all without fully waking up himself.

When he realized that he was sleeping on the couch, however, and naked – though Sasuke had placed a blanket over him – he came to full consiousness with a start.

He was stiff– partially from sleeping awkwardly on the couch, perhaps, but –

His ass also hurt, though it wasn't intense. Rather, it seemed like a dull pain, already fading. The kyuubi was doing her thing, Naruto imagined.

There was dried semen on his stomach.

Naruto tried to scratch it off, and fumbled on the floor for his boxers as he headed down the hall to Hikari-chan's room.

_They had finally done it as guys. _

Naruto didn't know why, but somehow, having sex with Sasuke – as guys – somehow seemed really significant too him. Perhaps because, internally, he'd still been a little unsure how he felt about it. About whether he could love Sasuke as a guy.

But now… yeah. He was pretty sure it wasn't going to be a problem.

As expected, sex wasn't really the same as a girl as it was as a guy. As a girl, for instance, he wasn't sure he had ever had an orgasm. Not to say it hadn't felt nice – really nice, in fact – but there just hadn't been that mind blowing… that mind blowing… wow.

He picked up Hikari-chan carefully, and, swaying as he walked, carried her into the kitchen, where he found a package of the formula all ready to go in the refrigerator. Rummaging for a saucepan, he lit the stove and poured the liquid, then continued to rock the baby as he allowed it too warm. He wondered if he should feel a little bit pervy, thinking about sex as he rocked his daughter. Well – he looked down at her downy head, and kissed it softly…

Testing the milk with his little finger, he held Hikari against his shoulder as he carefully, one-handed, poured the milk from the saucepan into a bottle, and screwed the nipple on. Then he sat down, and, cradling her in his lap, allowed her to suck.

Her eyes followed his face as she drank. She really was so beautiful… though with her baby features, it was still hard to tell whose nose she had really inherited… and whose mouth…

_Just don't turn out to be as messed up as either or your parents, _Naruto thought. _I don't want you to go through what I did, as a kid. Or what Sasuke did. _

After having been together as guys, Naruto felt more comfortable about their future together. He had needed to know that Sasuke was someone he could continue to be with, for years and years, not just for Hikari-chan's sake… because he wanted her to have the example of two parents who were in love.

Of course he had always loved Sasuke. But love for a friend didn't always translate into romantic love.

_Maybe he'd been… in fact…_ As Hikari finished drinking he stood up, and, putting a cloth over his shoulder, burped her quietly, then walked around the room, letting the rocking motion of his body lull her back to sleep… _maybe he'd been a little afraid of romantic love. _

If he thought about it clearly, he had never really believed – never believed seriously, that is, though he'd joked about it with Sakura-chan and others – that he would ever have a real relationship with anybody. He'd seen himself as someone who would be- though he hoped to be surrounded by friends - alone into perpetuity, partially because (maybe because of his childhood?) he still had a hard time believing that anyone could really, deeply care for him; and partially because… _ah._

Something had come to him. Maybe_ that_ was why. Maybe it was because he'd been in love with Sasuke all along, but never believed a relationship between them could come true. Maybe he'd hidden the desire so deeply within himself that it had become unrecognizable to him, even when things finally did begin to work out between them.

He chuckled softly to himself. Then again, maybe that wasn't it at all. How could he know? All he was sure of was that he'd been lucky… very, very lucky, in fact, because how many people who turn up their nose at love have it find them anyway – how many people get hunted down and trapped into just the kind of relationship they want and need, even when they've been running from it all the while?

When he felt Hikari's breath, deep and even, and knew she was fast asleep again, Naruto returned her to her crib. Leaving her room, he paused. Where should he go? The bedroom where he kept his things – where he had been sleeping – was to the left. But Sasuke's bedroom was to the right, across the corridor.

Of course Sasuke was awake, when Naruto slipped into his bedroom. Ninja's were trained to wake at the slightest disturbance, so he never slept through Hikari's crying. Still he had let Naruto take care of her, because he had heard the blonde stirring and getting up before he had gotten out of bed.

He saw the outline of Naruto's body as he opened the door, just slightly, to slide into the room. The blonde walked silently across the floor and towards the far side of the bed. Sasuke barely breathed as Naruto lifted the blankets, and slipped into bed beside him. Naruto knew he was awake, of course, but there was no need to say anything…

The blonde rolled over. It was rather strange, Sasuke thought, to be next to someone, but to find it more peaceful than being alone. They both drifted off to sleep, and it was impossible to know who slept first.

The next morning Sakura met Naruto on the street. She had been doing some shopping, and he, it seemed, was on his way back from visiting Iruka, and moving a couple final pieces of clothing out of his teacher's home.

"Do you want to stop and get ramen?" He asked, eagerly.

Sakura felt her stomach protest, it was ten in the morning and she had just had breakfast. "Coffee?" She suggested instead.

Once they sat down, and Sakura had spent ten minutes doing the obligatory thing – not that she minded it – of holding Hikari-chan, admiring her, and offering her a bottle.

"I always forget," Naruto admitted, "But Sasuke always remembers to pack diapers, and a bottle, and whatever other stuff she might need when we have to take her out."

"Ah…" Sakura said. Then she started giggling.

"What is it?" Naruto asked.

"It's just… the image of Sasuke with a diaper bag…"

Naruto grinned. "Yeah, I think it's funny too. It's weird, though, but he totally doesn't get it. He put on the snuggli the other day…"

Sakura almost spit out her mouthful of coffee, the image was so funny

"And I told him he looked totally un-cool, and he just glared at me and said it was fine."

Sakura sighed, resting her chin in her hand. "Oh, Naruto. I think I heard about that. Moegi saw him walking around with the baby like that, and blood practically started pouring out of her nose. The only thing that's sexier than a brooding, sultry Uchiha – apparently – is a brooding, sultry Uchiha who's also proved himself to be good father material."

Naruto made an annoyed face – the same one he used to make as a kid when all the girls flocked around Sasuke and no one paid attention to him – a face that said, _what is that about?_ Then he smiled.

"Hey, Sakura. Thanks."

"What for?" She asked, confused. _If you knew how little you have to thank me for _she thought, guiltily.

"Just… thanks for everything. I know you didn't really think Sasuke and I were the best idea, but… you really supported us anyway. So thank you."

Sakura felt her face turn red. "You know, Naruto… I didn't really…"

"No," Naruto said, cutting her off. "It's fine. I just hope we end as happy as you and Lee, ok?"

"Yeah…" Sakura said. It felt kind of funny… she had always been a little jealous of Naruto for ending up with Sasuke, and here he seemed to be admiring her own relationship with Lee.

Maybe she needed to appreciate Lee more.

"By the way," Sakura said, remembering their conversation of a few days before. "How did everything work out between you guys…?"

Naruto looked at her blankly, and Sakura cursed inwardly.

"I mean," she began again, delicately, "How did everything work out in the… uh… bedroom." She almost whispered the last word.

"Oh!" Naruto said, loudly, grinning. "Yeah, it was fine Sakura-chan! You were totally right!"

"I was right?"

"Yeah!" Then Naruto blushed. "You were right about the top/bottom thing too…"

"I knew it!" Sakura said. "Sorry, Naruto, but there was just no way…"

"Hey, don't be so sure… this was just the first time… once I get some more experience, I'm definitely going to pin that bastard…. And then…"

Sakura felt her ears growing red, as the visual images became a little more than she felt comfortable processing.

"Naruto," she finally said, gasping. "_Too much information…"_

A few weeks later, the annual Konoha festival was held. Though special jutsus had to be performed to hide the festival fireworks from the surrounding countryside- after all, Konoha was a secret village – no one would ever have considered having a festival without them.

Sakura found Lee on the hillside, far above the place where most of the other citizens had put down the blankets and were getting ready to watch the show.

Sakura smiled a little. Was there an alterior motive there? Was he trying to get some time with her alone?

"You know what, Lee?" She said, settling herself on the grass next to him and putting her head in his lap, "I finally understood what you meant before."

"When before?" Lee asked. He lifted his hand and began to stroke it over her head.

"When you said that you liked how we could just be comfortable with each other. Honestly… " Sakura paused. "I think I never got it before. I was always too much of a romantic little girl… you know? I thought I needed big fireworks," she gestured to where the villagers were preparing their show, "big complications, in order to have a major love story. But I just realized… it's fine to have drama when you're young, like us. But most of the time drama comes from personality conflict, and what happens when you get older and those conflicts still remain? Do you get what I'm saying?"

"I think so," Lee said. "You mean, you don't want to be forty years old, and with some guy where you fight and break up and make up every three weeks."

"Right," Sakura said. "I mean, how awful would that be? And also…" she snuggled closer to him. "It just sounds like exhausting." She stopped again, considering how much to tell him.

"I think that's why I was so hung up on Sasuke," she finally admitted. "I mean… no one could make me feel like crap the way he did, just by ignoring me or saying something rude. And nobody could make me feel better, either: I mean, when he smiled, or saved me, or anything. Everything with him was so intense. And I think I thought, wow, this must be love. Big drama, you know?"

"I don't think drama matters one way or the other," Lee said, reflectively. "A couple can love each other a lot and just be loud, or aggressive people. Like Sasuke and Naruto. Or they can have drama with no love. Or, there are people who get along fine, every day, but don't really love each other much at all."

"That's it." Sakura said. "That's it exactly. What I mean is, you measure love by love. It doesn't matter if yours is the same or different from anybody else's." She felt her ears growing red. I can't believe I just said something so corny, she thought. How embarrassing.

But Lee seemed rather taken with what she had said. "You know, Sakura-chan, that's it exactly! In the springtime of our youth, we are discovering so many wonderful truths together!" He clasped her hand and held it close to her heart.

Sakura felt herself blushing even harder. That was what she both loved and hated about Lee, she thought. He was just so earnest.

Well, maybe that was exactly what a girl like her – a little too preoccupied with saying and doing the cool thing, if she were honest with herself – maybe that's exactly what a girl like her needed. Someone who was just himself, even when it was corny.

And someone who let her just be herself, too.

Smiling and snuggling close to Lee's chest, she was reminded of yet another reason why she loved the boy so much… man, he was ripped.

"You have a nice chest, you know that?" She said playfully.

"What? Sakura-chaan…"

And he could be fun to tease.

Finally for the big confession.

"I wasn't really all that over Sasuke-kun, you know. When you and I started dating."

Lee quieted for a moment. "I knew," he said, eventually.

"You knew?"

"I just… watched. I felt bad for you, at times. I figured… we would talk about it eventually."

Sakura sat up, and poked Lee in the ribs. "You mean, you thought you could make me forget about him!"

Lee smiled at her. He had started looking a lot better once she'd gotten him to start thinning his eyebrows.

"Ok, ok," she relented, finally. "You were right. Don't get cocky."

"Sakura-chan."

She leaned back into his embrace, and they sat together as the fireworks went on. Below them on the hill she could see the place where Sasuke and Naruto had spread out a blanket for Hikari – she could guess what was going on. Naruto was narrating the fireworks show for his daughter, loudly explaining every burst of color and what Konoha victory each explosion represented. And Sasuke was sitting back, not listening, maybe a little annoyed by the chatter or maybe just pretending to be annoyed.

Maybe in a year or two she and Lee would have a son or daughter to play with Hikari-chan. Maybe in a few years their kids would be going to the academy together. Even becoming chuunin. Getting married and having children of their own. It was hard to imagine, and yet it wasn't that far off.

Sasuke and Naruto-kun, Sakura thought, dreamily. Who'd have ever imagined that they would end up together.

OWARI

PS….

Somewhere in the shadows, Itachi was lurking, perhaps waiting for his chance to return to power. When Naruto got back to full fighting strength, both he and Sasuke, devoted a quarter of their time to Tsunade's task-force, devoted towards tracking down Itachi, as well as any other Akatsuki members remaining. The two men never left on missions together- one always stayed in Konoha, to guard Hikari. It limited their mobility, but it was still one decision they had managed to come to without exchanging blows.

They still fought all the time, of course. The latest one had been a real blowout, in which the wall of the Uchiha compound had gotten damaged (not by Naruto, but by Sasuke, who had slammed his fist into it with a little too much force.)

Though there was no real hatred behind the fight, one could blame it perhaps on the tension of the past few weeks – Naruto had finally gone back to his first A-ranked mission since Hikari's birth.

Sasuke had found three whole weeks on his own with the six-month old a little tiring – but, if he were honest with himself, a bigger source of stress had been that Naruto was out hunting Itachi, while he was stuck at home. Though he had also been worried about Naruto; his annoyance about the Itachi situation might have made him a little nasty, taking it out on Naruto when the blonde returned home by implying that it was lucky that his brother had given him the slip, as Naruto probably wasn't strong enough to take him anyway.

"Oh, you think that?" Naruto had yelled – it was predicatably easy to get Naruto into a fight, "Well, I can still kick your ass, you know!"

Sasuke had made the situation worse by sniffing, and curtly responded by telling Naruto that he looked filthy, and ought to take a bath.

"Why… you…!!!" Angry words escalated very quickly into fists, and fists into full-fledged nin-jutsu. Fifteen minutes later, Sasuke found himself hiding in a tree, searching for Naruto's chakra signature, and planning how he was going to drive the blonde into a trap he had set up with a chakra-reinforced scroll.

Then, all at once, fifty clones were flying at him. Cursing, Sasuke threw a couple of kunai, which granted him enough time to use a replacement jutsu and hide in the bushes. Really, he _did not_ need this, not when Hikari had kept him up all night before crying…

He wasn't going to put his hands up and admit defeat, though, because he absolutely hated losing to Naruto.

The clones again... Sasuke had developed a neat trick of identifying the real Naruto with his sharingan – quickly he cut through the fakes and made his way to the original. Let's beat him with taijutsu, he thought.

His fiancé – not husband just yet, though Sasuke was getting closer into pushing him down the aisle (Naruto's current stalling related to that fact that he said that he couldn't see the point in marriage, anyway) – his fiancé caught the look in his eye and dispersed his clones with a wave of his hand. Hand-to-hand combat was always so much more satisfying, anyway – and they began to go at it, kicks and punches and dives all at a speed that many jounin couldn't even see, let alone keep up with.

A quick swipe of Naruto's hand, that almost nicked the bridge of Sasuke's nose, caused the blonde to smirk.

"Careful, there," he taunted. "You wouldn't want to end up like your brother…"

Sasuke frowned. "That's _way_ over the line…" He hissed.

Naruto shrugged.

"You're gonna get it now, you moron!" Sasuke said, as he put new energy into his fist – that was the punch that had lead to the hole in the wall. He had never brought up the subject of Naruto taking Itachi's eyes himself – even though it was a sore point with him – because it seemed like he didn't really have the right, after what had happened during Hikari's birth. It seemed unfair that Naruto would suddenly bring it up in the middle of a fight.

"If you had told me you had taken Itachi's eyes!" Sasuke spit back, "I might have had a better idea what was going on!"

"I couldn't, because I was afraid you'd go avenger-ballistic on me!" Naruto responded.

Sasuke felt his eyes bleeding red.

"See! See!" Naruto squawked. "Just like that!"

"You should've stayed out of my fight!"

"You should've let me help you!" 

In the streets and lanes of Konoha, people turned their heads in the direction of the rumbling in the Uchiha district and sighed. Surely, those two were at it again. In the Hokage tower, Tsunade paused from her paperwork and wondered just how much they were going to destroy, and hoped that at least this time they would keep it to their own property.

Baby Hikari, held by Iruka, heard the noise and clapped her hands happily.

"And another thing!" Naruto yelled. "Just when are you going to let me do you, anyway!"

Sasuke stopped, and coughed, mid-attack. "What! You never said you had a problem with that, Dobe, so why…"

"What did you think was going on the other day, when I flipped you on your back!!!"

"I thought that was foreplay…"

"LIAR! You knew exactly what was going on, and you're just to damn selfish to… and another thing! Don't think I didn't hear about that talk you had with Tsunade! If you want another kid, you're gonna have it yourself, so don't think you can trick me into going back to girl form just for some stupid clan-revival plan!!!"

"I can't do it anyway, dobe, because I don't have the chakra. I don' t know why you're so upset about it… it's not like we were talking about now, anyway… more like in year or two…"

"A YEAR OR TWO???" Naruto screeched. "Let's get this straight, Asshole, I'm gonna be Hokage, not your goddamn baby-making machine! So you can just take that scroll Tsunade gave you and shove it your ass!"

… It was another beautiful day in Konoha.

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

_Thank you again to everyone! Man I am glad to finally have finished this! To anyone who is interested: I did try my hand at writing a lemon this chapter (I never write real lemons, so I can't promise it's any good). But for those who are interested, it's on my livejournal account, same username. )_


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